


Arýza

by Kaoz



Category: Alice (2009), Alice In Wonderland - Lewis Carroll, American McGee's Alice, Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Insanity, Sexual Content, mentions of abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-19
Updated: 2010-12-18
Packaged: 2017-10-19 10:49:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 52,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/200025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaoz/pseuds/Kaoz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arýza is descended from the original Alice and the story was true. Now it’s her turn to save Underland and maybe help out the brothers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part I

**Author's Note:**

> There is a purpose and a reason for everything…She was never just a girl, not when the angels watched over her and Underland was in her blood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rated for:Language, mentions of abuse, sex, insanity  
> Genre:Angst, Hurt, Adventure, Suspense  
> Fandom/Universe: America McGee's Alice / Supernatural  
> Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester and OC's.  
> Pairings: Dean/OC, OC/Hatter, OC/Cheshire Cat  
> Spoilers/Warning: none yet  
> Disclaimer:Supernatural and all related characters are copyright Eric Kripke, Kripke Enterprises & The CW Network. Alice belongs to American McGee, EA and Rogue Entertainment. No infringement intended.  
> Summary: There is a purpose and a reason for everything…She was never just a girl, not when the angels watched over her and Underland was in her blood.

**Ω**

She's hiding in the mausoleum, tired from the longs days and the miles. She's been on foot for a while, doesn't care to know the date. It isn't important and traveling the lonely back roads keeps her isolated with just the occasional car driving past. No one ever sees her, no one stops and she doesn't bother to make them. It's safer to hide from other travelers…

It's been a while since she's had a good rest. Too hyperaware of everything and everyone, can't be any other way to survive and she isn't giving up now. Not with the scars that have come with those lessons, with the people who weren't people, with a life no one should ever have or deserves. The things that come from nightmares… It's not easy to find a place to sleep, not easy to relax either but she's learned to cope, to adapt. She's a fighter- a warrior and not by choice but from necessity; for survival.

This isn't her first mausoleum, not the first cemetery she's spent the night in. It isn't the first time she's broken in…she doesn't expect it will be the last.

_'…Rýza…'_

She used to have a family. A house with the white fence complete with dog…

_'…Rýz…'_

She had friends, went on dates, cheered and yelled at games… all the things a normal teenager would do.

But…

(And there's always a 'but'.)

Arýza didn't get the boring, normal ever-after. There wasn't a graduation, no first day of college- no college at all. The house is gone, no home and all she owns fits into the pack on her back.

Difficult.

Unexpected.

It's unfair but she was lucky…

There was an angel on her side.

Had to be in order to make sense of what happened, how she could survive…

Arýza remembers the soft brush of feathers, a gust of warm air filled with the scent of exotic spices. It made her think of deserts and her favorite game at the time; _Prince of Persia._

She woke to a new world that night; with screams and fear and pain…

**Ω**

Castiel has disobeyed before. He saved an innocent, it was the right thing to do but he has kept it a secret. The 'child' survives but there's no family. Arýza has no past while the hand of heaven rests on her future.

He watches them from the shadows, guards over her sleep though he knows it does not come easy for her. Her sorrow and pain is palpable and Castiel 'feels' for her. Arýza is one of many of God's children but she is special in her own right. There's a path laid out for her, things she must do.

"It begins."

The angel does not look away from the huddled figures. No response is needed and the being at his side stands just as still.

"Guard her."

"Of course." There's a flash of silver and the being is gone, faded into the shadows…

**Ω**

They hurry across the dark cemetery, no moon to light their path though it isn't needed. One flashlight is enough and then it's there. The old crypt with the faded name but the symbol on the ledge over the door is clear enough.

"This is it."

"Hurry up."

Both men waste no more time and quickly have the doors open. They screech loudly enough to wake the dead only she isn't dead. There's the flash of light that passes over the crack in her hiding place. She makes no sound and neither do the men who work quickly on another tomb. Stone crumbles and the murmur of their voices isn't enough to cover the sound of approaching footsteps, not for her. She hesitates, not wanting to give herself away but they don't seem to be aware and so Arýza peeks out of the crack.

Neither man notices the two figures in the entrance- people who aren't people…

"Behind you!" Arýza shoves at the lid as both men jump-startled but they look behind. The tallest draws a knife, steps in front of the other man.

There's that feeling again, like a vice slowly tightening in her chest leaving her a bit breathless- a sign she's learned means trouble. She scrambles out of the sarcophagus, landing lightly on the dusty ground. The lid makes a hollow echo where it falls; more dust rises around their ankles and the silvery-green eyes lock on the black shadow behind … it.

"A three for one." Amusement laces the soft drawl and it draws closer, the grimace of a smile flashes white in the darkness. "I like it." And it's blacked out eyes rest on _her_. The huge dog at its back inches around, the stink of rotten eggs wafting in the soft breeze and all Arýza wants is to _run_.

"Like this bitch." The tall one lunges forward, the knife glinting in the faint light from the flashlight in the other ones hand.

She's poised to flee, to live another day because the fight has gone out of her. She has no one to fight for…

"Sam!"

Arýza grabs the second man; she pulls back on his arm as he moves to help the taller one and knocks both of them down as the black shadow crashes into the wall where they had been. He rolls them over, gets to his feet and glances to the crumbled wall that _shifts_ -

“What the fu-.”

"Run!" Arýza yells at them both. She doesn't wait and heads out of the wrecked mausoleum, doesn't grab anything either though she wants to. All she owns is in the bag inside the coffin she'd claimed for the night. Had she stayed in it nothing would have touched her, there she'd had protection, the only thing left after the men broke in and ruined her seal on the doors…

"Where… are _you_ going?" the lazy drawl is followed by a flick of its finger.

Arýza jerks off her feet, she gasps and tries to grab at anything but there's nothing to stop her from flying through the air. This time she hits the ground hard enough something snaps and Arýza is left breathless. The stars wink in and out and her sight goes blurry before Arýza is able to blink everything into focus once more. There's a burning pain that flares through her chest and down her back. Small fingers dig into soft earth and she tries to breathe.

When she looks around, at the four mammoth shadows that surround her, she wishes she couldn't see any of it. The huge dogs and their slobbering jaws- one even has a piece of meat stuck in its teeth. It's the yellow eyes Arýza can't stand and she ducks her head under her arm. It’s over now. She can't get up to run any farther and feels nothing… They’ll kill her and there's nothing she can do to change it. So why fight it anymore?

No one notices the shadowy shape among the trees or the flash of silver before it pounces. There's a hellhound down and another howling loudly, unable to move its back legs while Arýza breathes in the smell of the earth and grass to block out the snarls and screams. She's numb to all of it except for their screams, the haunting echoes of that night and she tries to think of the good things, memories of a better time when life hadn't been this hard to deal with.

"NO!" the demon screams enraged. "You'll pay!" it looks from one massive dog to the other- her precious pets torn to shreds.

"Not this time." Sam says behind her, the knife sliding in her back. She screams but the lightning forks through her before she can escape the meat suit.

The dark shadow hides, for now its task is complete- the hounds run off, called back to Hell and he watches the men approach her.

Sam drops the dead woman, the knife cleaned on the jacket before he puts it in the sheath at his back. Both look around, searching for any others but it seems there was only the two demons and Dean dealt with the other one.

"Hey," Dean moves towards the still girl and places his hand on her back. He glances at Sam, curiosity in the green eyes as he starts to help her.

Arýza refuses to look up. She flinches from their touch though it's easier to breathe, slowly becoming aware of her surroundings. That for now she is safe- another close call but she knows her luck can't hold out for ever. She feels slightly disappointed though fear is predominant. She lives to run another day…

"Are you ok? Anything broken…out of place?" he's careful, a little hesitant as he tries to pat her down, checking for broken bones or sprains-

"Dean." Sam frowns but his brother is already forcing the girl to sit up. She's trying hard not to be touched and wincing, jaw clenched tightly – she's in pain and both can see it.

"…fine…"

They barely hear her soft voice and Arýza takes their pause to push away from 'Dean' and try to get to her feet alone. Her body aches and she's on her knees in the cold grass before either moves to take a step in her direction.

"Who are you?" Sam questions, moves back a pace when she flinches from them.

"What were you doing in the crypt?" Dean seconds as he slips an arm around her waist, ignoring the hand weakly shoving against him and hoists her up. The sudden change has her dizzy and Arýza rests her head on his chest, a small hand gripping the leather while she draws in a deep breath. He smells of gunpowder, oil and something else that tugs at her memories but she can't quite place it.

"Hey, you alright?" the concern is sincere- she's a tiny thing, easily engulfed by his arms and the feel of her against his body brings up a curiously strange protectiveness in him. He holds onto her just a little tighter, his face ducking down towards hers though she's not looking at either of them.

Arýza manages to nod then pushes out of his arms to stand unsteadily. There's a sharp thread of pain running up and down her back but she grits her teeth. It'll pass soon enough, like every other pain has.

"No thanks to either of you." Arýza glowers, forces herself to look at them and pretend she isn't afraid because the bodies of the hounds are still there; torn out chunks and Arýza wants to puke at the sight. She can smell that too and her nose wrinkles slightly.

"Excuse me?" Sam frowns, hazel eyes flicking to his brother who looks just as surprised though there's amusement there as well.

"You let them in." silvery-green eyes focus on the tallest- as far away from the dead hounds as she can look without being obvious. They won't see the hounds, wouldn't believe her anyway…and how can they _not_ smell that stench?

"Wait, how'd we do that?" Dean asks. He's looking her over, trying to figure out if he's ever seen her before and can't stop feeling he should know exactly when and where and how and …

"You really are blond." Arýza notes and starts past them, walking stiffly towards the wrecked crypt for her belongings. She'll have to find someplace else to sleep but knows it won't be soon. She won't sleep until this place is far behind her-

"Whoa," Dean frowns. The dig hasn't escaped him and he's confused as to why this girl-well, maybe she has a point but she could be a little grateful they saved her. "First off, we didn't know there was anyone _alive_ in there. It's a crypt. Dead people rest in crypts."

"Why were you in there? You hid inside the coffin-." Sam starts after Dean, both following the girl pretending she isn't still in pain.

"I don't like questions, so leave me alone." Arýza cuts in, rounding on them. She flicks her eyes from one to the other, hands fisted at her sides as though she's waiting for one of them to attack. They both notice and can't help but wonder why she is so defensive. She didn't seem all that surprised to see a demon…

"Look," Sam tries in a softer tone. "We aren't going to hurt you-."

Arýza scoffs, eyebrow raised incredulously. She hesitates but turns around and heads inside the crypt ignoring the men. They could attack her and she wouldn't be able to do anything.

_'Never turn your back, never.'_

It's too late for regrets and Arýza reaches through the rubble for her pack. She has to breathe past the pain but has it in hand and tugs it out with a grunt of effort. Arýza can't hold back the soft shriek of fright at seeing a third stranger no more than a breath away from her.

"Cas?" Dean questions as he steps into the crypt and catching sight of the familiar trench coat. Sam is right behind him and the space feels a lot more cramped. "What are you doing here?"

"They won't harm you." Castiel says ignoring the brothers. Arýza gasps at the familiar voice. Her eyes shine bright and she shakes her head unable to believe it could have been real. She's told herself it couldn't be possible, that something else- a fireman or someone had rescued her from the fire but…

"You know her?" Sam questions, features set in a scowl as he glances at the girl. She's a scrawny thing, too pale-and not very tall. Sam thinks she looks like a child then revises that because she certainly isn't that. Her silvery-green eyes are hidden behind the long bangs but she doesn't look at them anyway- avoids direct eye contact; she's uncomfortable. Her long black hair has bits of grass he watched her pluck out with slim fingers. She looks much too delicate to be out this late in the night, alone and sleeping in a cemetery.

"Yes." Castiel responds, blue eyes never once straying from her face. He studies her, the changes he can clearly see up close. It's her eyes, silver-green and no longer innocent. The knowledge…saddens… the angel.

"You're real." Arýza whispers and she can smell him; the dry and exotic spices, hint of cinnamon… "Why?" more than ever, Arýza needs to know _why_ he saved her, _why_ it had to happen at all because she never understood. And where has he been?

"What the hell…" Dean frowns. "What's going on here?"

As answer, Castiel touches the tips of his fingers to Arýza's forehead. She can feel the warmth flow from him and into her. It's unexpected and takes her breath away, soothes the aches in her body and wipes away her fatigue. Her eyes flutter open, silvery-green and wide at the sight of this beautiful angel haloed in golden light.

"Thank you." Arýza whispers, more grateful than she can express. She still doesn’t understand and for now- just _knowing_ he is real is… is enough.

"Go with them." He offers a crooked twist of his lips- a smile, clear blue eyes studying her. She can't help but smile in return and then he is gone.

"Cas!" Dean yells but it won't make a difference. The angel is gone and now there are three where there once were two.

**Ω**

She dreams in blood of giant poker cards- their red hearts gaping wounds, bleeding … they stalk her, herd her onto the giant chess board where the RedKing awaits. The fire always wakes her, that phantom pain ghosting along her skin and the chocking smoke…

As always, Arýza wakes with a heavy breath, hand to her throat and shoulder throbbing. She never sees his face and the angel comes to her rescue but even that is confusing now. Castiel … she wonders if there were someone else- another angel?

It's been four months since Castiel left her with the Winchesters, four months without any contact. She knows what they are, what they do and still has doubts as to why her angel would tell her to go with the Hunters. She's come in contact with demons much more with them than she ever did alone.

"Rise and shine, sleeping beauty." Dean calls as the door closes behind him. It's another hotel, something she hasn't been able to get used to or all the people she now comes in contact with on a daily basis. Her life has become one noisy soap opera.

"No, I don't think this qualifies." Dean says with a slight chuckle. There is too much of the supernatural and horror for it to be a soap. "Your filter needs some work, Rýz."

"Arýza." She corrects automatically and scowls. She stumbles trying to untangle herself from the sheets, managing to stay on her feet and heads towards the bathroom. He knows she doesn't like the nickname and enjoys her annoyance.

"You're gorgeous when you're annoyed!" he yells after her.

Arýza is severely tempted to flip him the bird but he'd just take that as an invitation to make more comments. He doesn't bother her, not really. Words… that's all they are and he hasn't ventured any further than that. She stands under the hot water and wonders why. Does he find her attractive? Would he rather she had blond hair like the bimbo from the last town-?

 _'Stop it.'_ She scowls at the tile wall. What he does or doesn't do is none of her business. _She_ has no business wondering if Dean likes her _at all._

"He is… fond of you."

"Aah!" Arýza grabs hold of the wall and the shower curtain. The slight ping of the rings popping off are drowned under Dean's voice and the fist pounding on the door. "What- why- out!" she yells. "Please, out, just get out." She repeats in a calmer tone while clutching the curtain to her body. She never sees him, the angel is gone and Dean's voice has dropped in volume.

 _'Dean!'_ she scrambles to get untangled from the curtain hoping this time Castiel will filter what comes out of his mouth. Dean's talked too much about the angel's faux pas- amusing as they've been when it comes to embarrassing Dean, Arýza doesn't want to have the same experience.

"So now you're a frigging peeping tom?" Dean yells. His voice is louder once the door is open.

"Who is Tom?" Castiel questions, head slightly tilted in confusion. She can almost smile at the childish innocence of his question.

"What the hell where you doing in the bathroom with Arýza, Cas?" Dean steps closer, green eyes flashing. "It' one thing when you come in unannounced, when it's just me and Sam. Angel or not you _don't_ bust in on a girl taking a shower. You hear me?" the ‘Not unless she invites you’ is left unsaid though its there on the tip of Dean's tongue.

"Knock it off." Arýza contains her flinch as Dean's eyes narrow on her and the towel she hastily wrapped around herself. It's the first time he's seen her in anything other than clothes- just too much bare skin glistening from the shower and the steam lightly billowing out behind her. "He didn't mean anything by it. Castiel's an angel, they don't..." her face feels hot all of sudden and she can't hold his eyes. "They just don't."

"Whoa." The hotel room door closes on its own when Sam just stares at the trio. "I don't want to know." He says but his eyes wander over all three and rest a little too long on Arýza. Her dark hair slightly curling, water beaded on her bare shoulders and over the exposed length of her legs…

"Can we not…" her silvery-green eyes beg them to skip over the awkwardness and Sam is willing. He turns away followed by Castiel and there's only Dean. There's a shadow of something in those green eyes she can't explain and slowly backs into the bathroom, too aware of her own nakedness under the small towel.

_'Not the best idea.'_

No but she didn't really think things through. She closes the door intent on rinsing the rest of the soap from her hair when she sees the damage she caused to the curtain- the only thing keeping the entire floor from getting wet.

"Figgin wonderful, Rýza." And she rolls her eyes at the nickname she's done her best never to repeat. "Can't believe this." She mutters facing the door once more. She draws in a breath and pulls it slightly open. "Uhm, Dean?"

 _'Krap.'_ She winces. _'Why'd I call him?'_

"You ok?" he asks startling her with how close he is to the bathroom. Like he's been standing there all along.

"Uh, yeah- yes. Yeah, uh, I need…could you fix the uh…" she stammers and pulls the door wider, hiding behind it and pointing to the shower. It's obvious what she wants to ask and Dean quickly walks in. He doesn't say anything nor does he try to look at her, if anything he keeps his back to the door the entire time and the curtain is soon back in place with a couple missing rings.

"That should work." Dean says quietly. There's an awkward pause and he's trying not to peek in the mirror.

"Thank you." She feels like a child, having to depend on them for her food and somewhere to sleep. They don't know much more about her than what Bobby was able to dig up and Arýza won't talk about _that_. So far they've left her alone, haven't insisted but it's getting harder, more so when the guys go out of their way to make her feel comfortable.

_'Like now.'_

Dean walks out, closes the door behind him and waits until the shower is on again before moving further into the room. He eyes Castiel but the angel isn't moving.

"Is there a reason for the unexpected visit?" Dean asks with a careless shrug Sam knows isn't what it looks like. He sits up, hazel eyes on his brother though the angel is more than capable of taking care of himself. It's Dean that Sam worries about.

"Yes."

They wait but as usual Castiel says nothing else. Dean's jaw clenches in frustration.

"What is it?" he asks.

Cas turns to the bathroom door, the water is off.

"Hey," Dean snaps his fingers in annoyance. "What's the reason you dropped in?"

"She is." Another simple answer without enough information. Its normal and both Winchesters are growing tired of it. "You have to take her home."

"Home?" Sam echoes. "The one place she won't talk about- why?"

"Cas." Dean's lips are pressed into a straight, disapproving line. The angels blue eyes never waver and then he's gone. "Dammit, Cas."

**Ω**

They traipse through another dark, abandoned building; just another day at the office for the Winchesters.

"Are you sure you wouldn't rather be at the hotel?" Sam questions, hazel eyes flicking to the slim girl tucked safely between the brothers.

"Nope." Arýza assures. For her, even if it means facing danger, being out with the Winchesters is better than staying alone in the room. There's too much time to think even when they leave her homework. Yes, the brothers have taken it upon themselves to teach her the basics of hunting. Arýza doesn't mind, in fact, she's grateful to be better able to protect herself.

"See," Dean smirks. "Our kind of girl." He says and a second later curses as his boot heel cracks the floor.

"A little heavy there?" Arýza chuckles, she aims the flashlight for him to see where he's caught.

"At least I eat." Dean grumbles under his breath because all she does is pick at her food. He manages to yank his foot free and straightens. He scowls at her and finds the rare sight of a smile on her usually solemn face. The difference is stunning, more for its rarity than anything else.

"I'm stronger than I look." She says and both remember how they met. Arýza won't admit it was mostly an accident how she knocked him down, all he needs to know is that she did.

"A little training wouldn't hurt none." Sam says beside her and his smile is kind. They've tried to convince her but she hesitates. She's not sure why because they wouldn't hurt her. Arýza rolls her eyes, that's exactly what Castiel had said but she's come to believe that as well. She's watched them spar, a couple times when there wasn't anything to hunt and the road was long and boring. It's unnerving, watching them fight… even if it isn't real she just feels nervous, gets tense and takes a walk.

"Come on." Dean nods. "Got a job to finish up." He winks and Arýza isn't sure who to but it doesn't leave her with a good feeling. Both men tend to attract trouble but Dean seems to be more prone to finding it on a regular basis.

Arýza takes up her usual place without argument. It's the only thing they've asked her to do aside from whatever else they say to do when its yelling time and that means they're in trouble. Her light skims over a dark corner catching as a shadow moves. She pauses and Sam lays a warm hand on her shoulder. He gives a gentle squeeze and she looks at him.

"What?" he whispers adding his light to hers and both see the cat skip out of the debris and out of sight. "Let's go." He gently pushes her forward and they continue but this isn't the first time Arýza has caught sight of the cat. It's the same cat; grayish blue and she knows that doesn't make sense because there aren't any _blue_ cats. It couldn't be the same cat anyway… not so far from the town she first saw it and that was three states over. But that wasn't the first place or time she has seen the 'gray' cat. No, Arýza has seen it before, the first time when she was thirteen…

**Ω**

_The rain has finally stopped and the sun has made feeble attempts at peeking out of the gray clouds. Arýza sits on the railing staring at the garden in her backyard. They have a big house, three floors not including the attic- an old Victorian that's been in the family for years. It creaks at night when the wind is blowing, makes its settling sounds when everyone is asleep- it's the lullaby she drifts into her dreams with._

_"Meow," it's a grey streak that dashes through the garden until it's perched on the rail, tail swishing. Its eyes are a strange shade for a cat –grayish blue almost purple- then it picks its way across the rail into her lap where it rises on its paws onto her chest._

_Arýza is a little surprised, cats don't just crawl into a person's lap and this one is purring- happy? She pets it tentatively, fingers running down its spine and it arches up. She smiles then hisses when its claws sink into her skin._

_"Ouch! That's not nice." She scolds, frowning. It's when she reaches to grab the little beast the pink tongue licks at the marks it has made. It noses the gold pendant- the gift sent all the way from London and a Grandmother she barely knew…_

**Ω**

Dean sighs and waves a hand to get Arýza's attention. He's been watching her fight sleep for the past forty miles. She has to be tired considering the lack of sleep because Arýza doesn't do more than take 'power naps'; that's what Dean has taken to calling the few minutes she allows herself at any given time. He's watched her sleep on more than one occasion, when she can't fight it anymore. Each time the result has been the same; Arýza wakes gasping for breath, tangled in the blankets and choking back a terrified scream. She tries hiding it from them but nothing is that easy in the close quarters they keep.

"Sit up here." He invites with a side glance at his sleeping brother. "Keep me company while Sasquatch gets some beauty rest."

Arýza chuckles tiredly, easily hopping over the seat. "He doesn't need it." She says with a glance at Sam awkwardly scrunched into the corner. "He's pretty enough."

They both know it's no lie. She's studied them both in the past four months, watched them work and its never any trouble for them to get answers from women. They ply their charm; smile, use pretty words on the female- even Sam gets his share of attention; tall and strong- he’d scare them away if it weren't for the ‘puppy eyes’ he turns on them and all the women she's seen have been puddy in the Winchesters hands.

"Don't tell him." Dean mock scowls. "He'll get a big head."

"Right." She scoffs. "That's more your thing." And she's right but both Winchesters are 'pretty', much too handsome and Arýza forces her eyes to the road. The windshield has a light cover of rain constantly wiped off with the wipers. She likes the sound it makes on the Impala and how the road seems to glitter beneath the headlights. The purr of the engine makes it difficult for her to stay awake and eventually her eyes close. She tries so hard not to dream, not to think about them and the fire… Arýza draws in a deep breath and plays with the radio, searching for something other than the scratchy country twangs they've been stuck with aside from his tapes.

_"He is…fond of you."_

Not exactly an answer to her unvoiced question but Castiel wouldn't say that if it weren't true. Still, it isn't an option Arýza will allow herself… She is a nomad, lives one day at a time with no plans for the future. It hadn't always been like that, there was a time when Arýza wanted more for herself, when she had more than survival as a goal for her life.

"You feel like talking tonight?" Dean asks after a while. He doesn't really think he's going to get much out of Arýza but he's willing to try. Again.

"Chick flick?" Arýza murmurs with a slightly arched eyebrow at Dean. She's heard him fend off Sam like that more than once. He smirks in response then shrugs. He'll leave that up to her and she sits back, considering…

_'One. Just one question. That's all…'_

She can deal with that. Right? She sighs, hands in her lap and nervously plucking at the threads in her jean. "What don't you guys know?"

Dean is surprised but he keeps his eyes on the road and thinks. Bobby dug up a state file on her, birth records, medical records, school records- that was a shocker by itself. Arýza is- correction, _was_. She was a straight 'A' kind of kid, honor roll- a sort of 'egg head' in Dean's book. She was in her last months of high school when the 'accident' happened. A fire that consumed her old life- all dead. The only option left for Arýza when no family could be contacted was foster care. She was three months shy of turning eighteen so Dean didn't get why she'd run. And the interesting part about it was, no one ever caught her. That's where her file stops.

"I get why you're quiet about it." Dean says and he does. He understands her reticence and hasn't pushed for more explanations than they'd got from Bobby but there's still a lot about Arýza the Winchesters don't know and trusting in Cas has been… let's say the angel doesn't have the best track record in the 'trust me' department. "We've had our share of…" Dean clears his throat and shifts in his seat. The Winchesters are no strangers to personal tragedy; death seems to follow those they love. All he can remember of the Mother taken away too soon are faint memories; the sound of her laugh, the smell of cookies baking or the faint touch of her hand as she brushed hair out of his face-

"Sam mentioned it." Arýza says into his silence. "Some, anyway." She shrugs and stares into her lap. The discomfort is palpable, both painfully aware of things they'd rather not talk about let alone think of. This is where both feel a connection – as strange and foolish as Dean would no doubt say out loud, he feels it-has felt it from that first moment though he's made it a point not to think or even analyze the why.

"Yeah," Dean nods. "Sammy would." Because Sammy's such a girl when it comes to sharing feelings… especially when he's trying to get someone else to share.

"I don't know why-." Arýza squeezes her eyes shut and wills the sudden lump in her throat to pass. She doesn't talk about it, any of it because it makes no sense. She doesn't want to cry, not now, not ever but it still hurts… to think of them- everyone is dead. Her life is not at all how she'd pictured it, how it had been planned. Arýza is twenty-one, she should've been at college, she should've been dating, hanging out with friends, going home for holidays and vacation, looking forward to starting her life as an adult…

"We can find out." Dean offers and sneaks a glance at her. She hasn't looked up and the hole in her jeans just got a little bigger. He tries to fit his pixie into the picture in that file and can't. There’s a big difference between that girl and the young woman next to him. He wonders if anyone would have picked up on the difference as quickly as he did-

_‘Her eyes…’_

That’s where Dean can see it.  Their experiences have been different-not the same, never- but the look is the same. She's haunted by that fire, by what she can't _un_ hear or _un_ see the same as Dean can never erase what he did in Hell…

Arýza shrugs. "It's not going to change anything." Her family will still be dead-

"You won't have to hide, Rýza."

"Why?" she questions on a heavy breath and looks at him. There's irritation threading her words and in the silvery-green eyes. "You can't say my full name?" in the back of her mind she is grateful for the distraction. She takes anything that can help banish their ghosts but there's also a feeling - a thought – maybe nothing but there's something about Dean cutting her name that feels familiar-

"Huh?" Dean blinks, that smile slowly making its appearance and she knows he does it purposely. "What's wrong with Rýza?" he'll let her change the subject, give her more time knowing that eventually Arýza will _need_ to talk to someone. Everyone needs someone at one time in their lives, if it weren't true there wouldn't be any need of psychiatrists or priests.

"You're missing the 'A' that goes at the beginning." She frowns, hates how it makes her feel and won't tell them only her Mother used to call her by that name. "Use it."

He laughs.

"I know who you're named after." Arýza threatens and Dean is suddenly quiet, green eyes on her. She nods when he glances at Sam and now _she's_ smiling. It's just a hint, the dusky lips turned up at the corners so he doesn't mind the warning as much. She rarely smiles and Dean's tried- not sure why he should care but he does. He hasn't heard her laugh and thinks it's gotta be worth it, to see her smile and hear her laugh a real laugh but he hasn't had much reason to laugh himself. Maybe that's just the way it's going to be for them…

"Sammy might need a toupee…" he mutters. They sit in amicable silence for the next ten miles before he feels her weight pressing into his side and her head slowly comes to rest on his shoulder. Dean wonders if she'll talk again, maybe make some sense this time and he is close enough to make out her words.

She doesn't sleep much and Dean won't get on her about it either. He understands and has told Sam to leave her alone, glad not to argue about it, have to talk about the why's and share feelings-gah!

 _'Sammy's such a girl sometimes_.'

Dean carefully raises his arm, slips it over her shoulders and Arýza comfortably curls into his chest. He's surprised, eyes flicking from the sleeping girl effectively cradled in his arms to the road and back. It hasn't escaped the brother's notice how comfortable she is with them. Sam doesn't seem to find it strange, that a girl they barely know is so…

_'What?'_

Dean frowns. He doesn't get it. There's a lot he isn't understanding and the more he tries to figure her out the more he's frustrated by the questions. _Who_ is she? Why do the angels care anyway? What the hell is going on?

"…please…" it's softer than a whisper. He feels her fingers curl into his jacket, the soft body pressing into his chest. "…not them…"

She dreams of a world lit in flames. Her world turned to ashes in minutes and no explanation at all. She's alone, confused-

"…don't…!"

Dean tightens his arm around Arýza and it seems to calm her. She mumbles under her breath, an urgency in her tone and through her body.

She cries out for help, for them, but no one hears. There was no one to stop the fire, no one to save her family and trying to change what _is_ … that’s the definition of insanity.

Even if it is only a dream.

She makes no sound and finally Dean gives up. There wasn't enough to explain and all he has is more questions. Who is she talking to? What is she asking for?

Sammy stirs as they near the state line. He yawns and stretches only to jerk still when Arýza's leg pulls off his lap. She jerks in Dean's arms, immediately tensing and her hands grip tightly to his shirt.

"Careful!" Dean hisses, gently smoothing a hand on her arm and she settles down again with a faint sigh.

"What?" Sam blinks, rubs his eyes and stares at his brother. "Dude…"

Arýza shifts and her feet nudge Sam's thigh. She's tucked into Dean's chest like a child, sleeping. He doesn't realize there's a smile on his face seeing them or rather watching his brother drive and cradle their pixie.

"Can you drive like this?" Sam questions softly while carefully pulling her feet and settling them on his lap, he takes the sweater that fell off the seat and drapes it over her legs. She stretches out comfortably, unaware of the whispered conversation taking place in the car while she actually sleeps.

Green eyes narrow and Sam's lips twitch in amusement. Dean isn't the type who likes to share feelings but Sam knows there's a softer side to his brother. It’s the things he does because Dean doesn’t like to talk about ‘feelings’. He's ‘a man of action’ and though it sounds like a joke … well, it really isn't. Not with Dean.

"Apparently I can." Dean snaps. "Fell asleep twenty miles back." He adds in something that sounds like a grumpy grumble but he's not releasing her either.

"Hasn't been long, then." Sam notes checking his cell for the time. "Think she'll stay asleep while we're here?" he questions doubtfully. They haven't told her where they are going, where they are taking her and she doesn't ask. She never asks anything and they've noticed Arýza doesn't plan. The brother's will make a comment; a place to see after they are done on a hunt, someone to meet up with or what Dean wants to eat…common mentions and not once does Arýza chime in with one of her own.

It's strange is all and that's why Sam has noticed it. He brings it up, voices the concern that she doesn’t behave... like a ‘normal’ girl.

"She's been alone, Sam." Dean reminds him. "Who's she gonna talk to? Who’s she supposed to be a ‘normal’ girl with?" but he's curious about that too. Because she is _too_ quiet, tends to stand back and observe others interacting. He's noticed her discomfort around people, the way she gets tense and immediately searches her surroundings for a way out. It's obvious the running has changed her, the way she was living out on the streets and she hasn’t said a word about _what_ made her run in the first place … though she's better now than it had been when Cas left her in their 'care'. He has questions, certainly and no reason he can't get any answers if he just pressed a little harder. It certainly leaves the job of getting information from people solely up to the brothers.

"Has she told you why she's been on her own?" Sam questions and ignores Dean's scowl. "I just thought she'd be likely to tell you." He knows Arýza feels more comfortable around Dean, she is always more relaxed with him around. His brother is the same and neither of them seems to be aware though Sam thinks they are in denial.

"You're the one who likes to share feelings." Dean retorts with a side glance at his brother. There's the slight shifting of Sam's hazel eyes and Dean nods. "Oh yeah. Rýz told me." He assures at the slight hunching in of Sam's shoulders though there's also that defiant glint in his hazel eyes.

"She doesn't like that." Sam frowns but Dean just ignores the reminder. They sit in silence the rest of the night, what's left of it and Arýza sleeps quietly too and that's a first since the three have been together.

**Ω**

_The rain makes it harder to stay warm. She huddles into her corner legs tucked in and arms tightly wrapped around herself. She can't sleep- it's been three days and the urge to close her eyes is there but she won't allow it._

_"Prrrr."_

_Arýza's head jerks up, bloodshot eyes searching and there, out of the shadow emerges the familiar bluish bundle of fur. She thinks the cat might have fallen into some sort of die but hasn't been able to clean him up._

_"You're back." Arýza whisper, her voice sounds harsh-raspy and out of use. "Figured you found a nice place to live." She wishes it was that easy for her, that all this was just a nightmare she'd wake from soon._

_Wishful thinking is all. There's no one left, it's all been burned away…_

_The cat lightly jumps into her arms forcing her to let go of her legs. There's the briefest smile on her dusky lips and her hand lightly smoothes down the fur. It's ridiculous to be happy just because a stray cat has come back but she is. The pink tongue swipes at her chin and her smile widens, her face hiding in the soft fur seeking some sort of comfort._

_The streets are dangerous, no place for a young girl to live but it's where she's chosen to be. No one can be trusted and yet the cat is the only constant in her life._

_"Keep the boogey men away, Cat." Arýza murmurs settling into her corner again. She stares into the rainbow eyes, such an uncommon sight even for a cat and her breathing slows while her eyes slowly close until she is asleep._

_Cat watches, waits and when her arms go slack he lightly jumps off her lap. There's a flash of sliver, a grin and rainbow eyes slowly search the abandoned building again. Arýza isn't alone but at least she has managed to keep the closet she's claimed to herself. Cat moves to secure it, a sharp blade jammed in place and then he slinks back to her side. He knows she is cold even in the coat he left for her before. Cat sits, back pressed to the wall and gently draws her into his arms. Arýza follows the warmth, barely stirs as she settles comfortably and Cat lightly strokes her hair, rainbow eyes on the door. The gentle purr vibrating through his chest makes for a comforting lullaby. She'll dream of his world, the way it was before…_

**Ω**


	2. Part II

**Ω**

Bobby can't find anything on the girl Castiel put in the boys care. He's done a nation-wide search and nothing comes up after her stint in foster care. No records of any kind. The file on the fire wasn't easy to get and reading through it is no better. He can see the signs- recognize the supernatural hand at work when everyone else blamed it on a mythical arsonist. No one ever answered 'why', what _this_ family did to deserve their deaths and no one cared when it was all over.

He's followed the trail of her family back to England. It was the only path left to explore when her family in the states all turned up dead. Everyone on the Dad's side- and there weren't many of those to start with, an uncle and aunt- no children. No other close ties, not even a damn godparent to step in and take the girl …

Bobby exhales heavily, pushes away from the old desk and starts to pace through the house. He's waiting on a contact- a good friend from 'across the pond'. It seems the information Bobby's asking for isn't so easy to find and he's been getting a bit of this and a bit of that in the past four months.

He knows the Mom – Alena was born in the sates; everything about her is in a thick file sitting on his desk. He knows _her_ Mother – Alexa, came to the states on a student visa and stayed. Made a nice life for herself and a family… But all Bobby's gotten on the grandmother- all anyone can tell him is that she died a few years ago.

There's something else, something that ties Arýza to the boys and Bobby's going to find out what.

"Damn files."

And wonders why the hell does it have to take so long?

**Ω**

Dean has had enough of her silence. They've been in town a week and not once has Arýza stepped foot outside the hotel room. Sam has tried talking to her but there's only so much one person can say without receiving a response. He hasn't given up but she is stubborn too and nothing is going to change her mind.

When Castiel arrives Arýza doesn't move nor does she speak to him. The angel watches her in silence for over an hour, standing at the foot of the bed like a statue. It's enough to drive anyone crazy and Dean has never claimed to be a saint.

"I get it." He sits at the foot of the bed she's claimed but doesn't let herself sleep in for more than a few minutes at a time. She doesn't move from her curled up position at the headboard, doesn't look at him either and he can see that she is tired. "I wouldn't want to come back." Hell, he's avoided going 'home' for years because of… of what they lost. Green eyes fall on the flowered bedspread just thinking of how much she has to hate being so close to where it's all started, where her family died-

"Please."

Dean barely hears it, the soft whisper of her voice and looks up. The silvery-green eyes shimmer and the dusky lips tremble just a little. She looks very much the fragile girl they first came across.

"Don't make me go there." She hasn’t been back, hasn’t seen any of it since the day Cas saved her from the fire. She doesn’t want to go and she shouldn’t have to see what's left of her life-the life that had been hers and a promise of what could have been.  It isn't fair and her Mother had always pointed out life would never be fair, especially when it was worth living.

He can see the fear in her eyes; they shine bright in the dim light of the hotel room. Dean wants to say she doesn't have to step foot on that property, wants to tell her they'll leave town- screw the angels…

Dean knows they can't. Castiel wants her in that house, wants her to re-live the torment of that night because she isn't 'whole'. Cas' words exactly and Dean still doesn't understand what the hell they mean. The angels have something planned, a reason for the things they do and ask of them. Its all any of them do; fight against the angels and what they _think_ God wants of them.

"Please." Arýza blinks but that doesn't keep the single tear from rolling down her cheek. She ducks her head and refuses to look up, an inky swatch of hair falling over her eyes. Her small hand wipes at her cheek, like Dean can't tell _why_.

Dean frowns. He knows why she hides her tears, how stupidly she thinks they make her weak and Dean has enough of her silent suffering. Screw the angels and their obscure reasons for shoving people where they want them. He's across the small distance, a rough hand wiping her cheek and the comforting warmth of his arm around her. Arýza draws in a deep breath, her small hands clenched on the lapels of his shirt hiding her face in his chest. There's that familiar scent she can't remember but she feels comfortable with him. She’d rather hide, just forget everything but how _this_ right now feels…

"Shh, it's alright." Dean murmurs running a hand through her hair. There's an awkward moment, when he's trying to pat her back and offer some sort of assurance for something he has no control of. They both know it and still want to defy the puppeteers. He feels protective of her, its strange- it really makes no sense and yet it is. There has always been something else between them and by the looks he's been getting from Sam lately means faking ignorance is so not working anymore.

"It isn't fair." Arýza shakes her head, both arms wrap around his shoulders and she holds on as if that will change what she has to do.

"No." Dean agrees pulling back just enough to look at her. He silently studies her face, the unnatural paleness of her skin has begun to gain some color in the time she's been with them. She's no longer skin and bones- Dean can feel the soft curves of her body pressed against him and his eyes rest on the slightly parted lips. The desire has always been there; to kiss her and Dean has denied himself. Arýza isn't like the other women he's dealt with and left behind when the sun rises. He doesn't want to do that with her but he can't give her anything else and is it fair?

Arýza tugs him towards her tentatively and Dean offers no resistance. His touch is light, their lips brushing softly-testing the other and when neither protests Dean finally let's himself taste her.

There's the barest hint of berries on his tongue and he smiles, draws back to watch her eyes flutter open and the silvery-green shade seems just a little darker. Arýza blushes, bright pink stains her cheeks and she can't look at Dean. Her eyes fall to his mouth and pause. He's kissed her… he has kissed her and she likes it. She tugs on his shoulder, drawing him near again and he doesn't resist.

The soft pressure of her lips and the tentative touch of her tongue -Dean is just a little surprised _she_ has kissed him. He doesn't hesitate to draw her onto his lap and Arýza seems not to notice the change. She likes the feel of him, how _she_ feels… with Dean.

It's another hotel room and Dean knows Sam could return and baby brother won't be happy to walk in on them. He pulls away from her, hand smoothing an inky strand out of her eyes. He glances at the door, still closed then looks at her again. He tells her she's beautiful and kisses her once more, feels the soft curves of her body press into his and shakes his head.

"Rýz…"

She sighs in annoyance at the name and her silvery-green eyes narrow slightly. Something about the _sound_ of it evokes a sense of melancholy she would rather do without.

"Arýza." He corrects and chuckles. She smacks his arm lightly and there's just the hint of a smile on her dusky lips- just a little forced and he ignores it. He can't help kissing her again, likes the taste of her. He presses his lips harder against hers, tongue roving into her mouth, still gentle but more urgently than before.

Arýza moans softly, her fear and trepidation of what Castiel wants her to face melting with Dean's touch and she's losing herself in the feel of him. His arms around her, his body pressed against hers, his mouth devouring hers. She has spent the last four years alone, running from her past and avoiding people at all cost, knowing she has to hide but… he feels good. Dean feels warm and firm and safe.

_‘Familiar.’_

Dean's hands run over her hips, moving up the curve of her waist, fingers hooking under the fabric of her t-shirt. She knows this is only the beginning, just the very edge of something-

"What?" Her voice is husky, just a whisper and she's looking at him, brow slightly furrowed – confused when he hesitates.

Dean knows he should stop, get up, take a long walk, but her fingers are soft as they trace a line down his jaw and he finds he can't pull away. He's been thinking about this for months now but has so far managed to curb his impulses. She tilts her head and reaches her lips towards his just a little hesitant.

Dean feels the light brush of her lips against his -she's kissing him again and Dean feels her hands trail down his shoulders and over his chest; he likes the feel of her touch and the gentle circles she's tracing over the cotton. He's taken aback by the intensity of his feelings for this strange, wisp of a girl in his arms, and pulls her closer, giving in. Their tongues swirl together, finally - too long denied.

Arýza breaks away from him when his fingers curl into the hem of her top, pulling it upwards. She lifts her arms in the air and allows him to slip it over her head; does the same with his before pressing up against him once more. Her breath catches at the feel of his skin on hers.

"You sure?" he manages to whisper, green eyes questioning silvery-green ones half lidded with desire. Dean knows Sam could return at any moment and stops his roving hands, breathing into her mouth as he rests his forehead against hers.

She nods, half listening to what he's asking because for the first time since she started to run there's something else alive in her; gone is her fear, the constant worry and the anxiety she has lived with. All Arýza wants… is this. She wants his touch, she wants to feel the heat of his body and hear that raspy sound he's making in her ear as his breath quickens. She knows where this is headed. She doesn't want to think past the moment, to what is coming and revels in the light touch of his hands on her skin. For now Arýza acts on instinct, her hands run down his chest and his muscled arms pull her hips up onto his lap so she's straddling him. He kisses her harder, hands roaming up her smooth back to unclasp her bra. His skillful tongue leaves her mouth and trails down her neck, flicking its way across her collarbone. She catches her breath and pauses just a moment- a flicker of apprehension as he gently pulls down the strap. His fingers skim lightly over her following with his tongue and Arýza arches backwards when he reaches her breast, finds her left nipple and rolls it in his mouth teasing it gently with his teeth.

She grinds her hips against him, likes the feel of him, the bulge in his jeans between her thighs. His hands and his tongue never stop moving and he makes a throaty sound when she rubs hard against him, her lips finding his neck at the same time.

Arýza leans back, her arms around Dean's shoulders and he lays her on the bed. He threads his fingers through her hair, whispers her name again and forgets about the door keeping the world at bay. Dean feels her hands trail down his shoulders and over his chest; likes the feel of her touch and the gentle circles she's tracing over his skin. She utters catlike moans in response to the hungry kisses Dean places all over her body and she gasps and squirms as Dean licks his tongue to her navel.

Arýza shifts and Dean runs his hand down her jean clad thigh. She doesn't protest when he tugs her lower on the bed, feels his weight gently press her into the mattress. Her fingers run through his short hair and Dean feels a slight chill ghost over him at the simple touch. His tongue glides over hers, caressing and she utters a soft moan. Arýza's small hand splays on his chest, nips his lip and Dean can't help the groan caught in his throat for the playfulness.

She is trapped in his arms and there is nowhere Arýza wants to go.  There's something so right about _them_ together … she's not pretending there isn't something here.

Dean takes her bottom lip, teeth gently biting down and she feels the lightning tremor flutter through her. He leaves a trail of butterfly kisses along her jaw down to her neck. His fingers are still twined in her hair and Dean tugs firmly drawing a gasp from her as Arýza arches beneath him. He licks at the fluttering pulse and draws back enough to watch her try and regulate her breathing.

"…pixie…" he murmurs when the silvery-green eyes focus on him. There's the slight furrowing of her brow and an almost smile ghosting her full lips. "…beautiful pixie…"

It's the first time he's said so to her face, first time saying it out loud and it fits. His eyes meet hers, the trace of a smirk on his lips and Arýza slides her hand down his chest. She can feel the warmth of his skin- the touch of her hands is tentative, her eyes slide away from his and Dean grazes his teeth on her warm skin, biting gently at her jaw.

His hands easily grasp her hips, fingers quickly unzip her jeans and she lifts up to let him slide them down. She sits up as Dean pulls the dark blue lace past her feet and reaches for his belt. He moves to help and seconds later Dean is completely naked and moving back over her, lips seeking hers out again as his hand runs up the smooth length of her bare thigh.

She feels his touch- like a brand on her fair skin and the cool air from the a/c adds to the shiver coursing through her body that has nothing to do with being cold and _everything_ to do with him. Dean pushes her knees apart gently, unable to hold back a lustful moan at the sight before him. He looks back up at her face, notices how beautiful she is and unafraid. She's giving herself to him completely and he knows how much it means for her to do that, how much it takes for her to trust like this. Her inky locks are splayed on the floral bedspread beneath her and Dean can tell from her expression she wants this; the need is there, in her silvery-green eyes. Dean pauses, wonders at how she could ever deserve the cards she's been dealt…

Arýza tenses at the first touch of Dean's warm hand on her hip, feels the light caress of his fingers as they glide down her thigh and holds her breath. His lips find the rapid pulse and bites down gently. He likes the sound she makes, a breathy moan and she tilts her head to give him better access. She gasps again at his touch, curls her body towards him, her small hand wrapped around his wrist. The gentle touch becomes firm, slides up and down- Arýza curls her fingers over Dean's chest, runs her short nails up his arm. Her breathy voice murmurs past his ear, a desire for more. Dean lays a trail of hot kisses down her neck and leaves a light mark on her collarbone. He continues lower, hand grasping her thigh as his tongue flicks at her navel.

"Dean?"

He likes the breathless tone of her soft voice, wants to hear it again and ventures towards the warmth nestled between her thighs. With the first touch of his tongue Arýza arches off the bed, hands curled into the floral bedspread. He makes a slow circle before pressing a kiss to her and Arýza breathes his name once more. She feels him dip inside, the touch of his tongue sending ripples through her body and Dean skims his cheek along her thigh.

Her hand runs through his short hair, graspy and needy, and he knows there's no turning back now, there never was... Dean moves leisurely, dips inside her again, tasting her. Arýza squirms, feels her body tense up with Dean's touch, unaware of her breathy sighs and pants. Dean gently suckles at her, feels her legs tremble, small hands grasp at his shoulders and back. She says please, over and over and Dean makes his way up her body to settle between her legs, barely pressing his tip against her wetness. She gasps and he feels her nails in his back as he pushes in slowly and she lets out a long, drawn out moan. Dean rests his forehead on her shoulder, revels in the tight fit of her warmth. He pauses, waiting for her to respond and feels her thighs slide up his sides. Dean kisses her neck, takes hold of her waist and feels her pushing upwards, letting him know she wants more.

He pulls back out and in again, faster this time, and presses another kiss to her lips as he does so. His hands squeeze her thighs; he nibbles her earlobe and her neck but never stops moving his hips. Arýza bucks against him, meets his thrusts with a hunger of her own he was unaware she was capable of and he picks up the pace, works into a steady rhythm.

It's his name she pants; soft, breathy moans and Arýza arches her back as fiery bliss spreads throughout her body. She doesn't expect anything could feel so good. She has one hand fisted in the bedspread beneath her and the fingers of the other are digging into the taut skin at the back of Dean's neck.

Her breathy voice as she calls his name and the way her head tips back, her mouth partly open in pleasure and longing, makes him pump into her harder, his strong hands gripping her thighs and pulling her small frame towards him with every forward thrust of his hips.

She's close now, he can tell, and he leans down to crush his lips against hers once more, wanting to feel her breath, the intimacy of a deep kiss when she finally goes over the edge. Dean is not disappointed and Arýza gasps and bites his lower lip as she tenses and clenches around him, a hot wetness caressing his inner thighs as he continues to move in and out.

"Rýza…" he breathes into her ear, and for the first time since she met him almost five months ago, she doesn't mind his use of her childhood nickname. Her arms clutch him tightly as she gains her release, a pleasant tingling spreading through her. Arýza feels Dean press his whole body against her and everything else in the world disappears – past, present, and future. There is only Dean Winchester; on her, in her, all around her.

Arýza feels each thrusts of his hips, the sensations flowing through her while Dean pumps into her a few more times before he finds his own release. He cups a hand around her face and his eyes meet hers as he spills himself inside her, both quivering with satisfied pleasure.

Their breaths mingle; soft pants and she can feel the beat of his heart against hers. Her lips slowly pull into a smile, silvery-green eyes flutter closed and Dean presses another kiss to her already swollen lips. He has it now, a moment of peace, a quiet he can feel deep in his bones and all with the girl in his arms- this girl… She's nothing like he's ever expected to find, let alone have. But there's something… she is _his_. Dean is certain and it scares him. He's never had something just his.

_‘Mine.’_

It feels right. The way it’s supposed to be and that makes no sense but deep down there's that little burning ember of happiness coming to life. He wants that ‘apple pie’ life so badly but it’s never been more than a picture he's kept out of reach. Nice enough to look at, wonder ‘what if’… but never a remote possibility of being a reality.

But this girl… a random, wandering vagabond he knows nothing about makes him weak in the knees with the lightest touch of her fingers skimming over his jaw.

“Mine.” His breath flutters over her parted lips as Dean kisses her once more, a tender touch -

"Hey-."

Dean's green eyes flash annoyance at the door his little brother has just barged through without bothering to knock. Sammy pauses- stands inside with that scared rabbit expression in his hazel eyes and it's almost enough to make Dean laugh. Arýza's squeak of alarm jerks Sam out of his shock. His gaze traveling the length of them-

"Oh jeez!" Sam quickly turns away, swipes his hand over his eyes but the image of his brother and – "Arýza! Uh, umm-." Sam jerks his head back towards the door and yanks it open stepping out into the hall quickly. Embarrassed doesn't begin to encompass what just happened-

 _'Once, just once…'_ Sam scowls at the ugly brown wall though it doesn't erase the image of his brother on top of Arýza from his mind. Again, Dean has left him with an image Sam could do without. He shakes his head and sighs, just a little frustrated. So many women, too many… and his brother has to use Arýza?

Disappointment has Sam walking down the hall; the bag of food in his hand, a little bit of enticement he hoped would get her talking to him, is relegated to the trash bin.

**Ω**

Dean has one regret, only one and that is that he didn't barricade the door- or, at least called Sam to stay away. His annoyance gives way to concern as Arýza hides her face in his chest. He calls her name softly, kisses her shoulder but she won't look at him. The shy young woman is back, quiet and withdrawn just observing life as it happens all around her… Dean doesn't mind so much, her quiet is comfortable, unobtrusive and peaceful in a way.

"Hey," Dean tugs at an inky lock and gets a glimpse of the silvery-green eyes that only moments ago had gazed at him with desire. "I should've made sure it was closed..."

Arýza's gaze flicks to the door Sam has walked out of; she feels her face burn with embarrassment- what he's seen and what he must think. Her eyes close and she sighs until Dean shifts his weight. Her soft hiss stills Dean and he gently unhooks her leg from his waist. His touch becomes a caress, green eyes warm and bright in the dim room. Her hand touches his jaw, fingers lightly skimming over his face; pleased to see the haunted look has been banished from his beautiful eyes. Arýza warms at the touch of his lips on hers, slips her arms around his neck and relaxes into his embrace.

"…pixie…" he murmurs and this time she smiles. It’s a rare sight, just like her laugh…

**Ω**

They stand on the sidewalk, both men at her side while Arýza clutches the cold metal gate in her small hand. The house hasn't changed- no one lives in it, no one has bothered to fix it up. The façade is still white and that's all that is the same. The ground floor has boards covering the windows, black smudges stain the wood and the front door is just a cheap piece of plywood nailed in place.

This had been her home once, her family had been happy, Arýza had entertained friends, gone to games…

Sam looks around, notes the eerie silence- no dogs barking at all and the street is dark. He frowns, wonders where all the concerned citizens were the night Arýza's family was burned to death. Did no one call for help? Did no one notice the flames and the smoke…

"I'm here." Dean's touch is light, hands resting on her shoulders and the warmth of his body along her back. He reaches around her and opens the rusted gate. It screeches loudly and yet not one person looks out to see what's going on.

Sam watches the hesitant steps Arýza takes on the path leading towards her house, notes the protective stance his brother has taken at her side and holds his tongue. He'll talk to Dean later, when they're done with whatever Cas needs accomplished at the shell of Arýza's old house.

One step, then two and Arýza stops on the path leading up to the porch refusing to go any further. Silvery-green eyes wander over the front yard, the weeds running wild and her Mother's flowers… but she can see it again. She feels the heat of the flames, can see where the windows burst and the glass melted, it's the echo of the-

"You're not alone." Dean's voice is a reassuring whisper by her ear. Her short gasping breaths calm just a little. Sam steps onto the overgrown grass, hazel eyes scanning the lot while his brother comforts their pixie. She trembles like a leaf in his brothers arms, more than ready to leave and they haven't even reached the door yet.

"I can't be here." She won't look at the house anymore, cant and hides in Dean's arms. He's solid and real- nothing else should exits aside from that for now. She doesn't listen to the soft words Dean whispers to her, only wants the comfort of his voice and breathes deep of the oil and leather scent uniquely his.

Up on the porch Castiel watches as Dean offers her some comfort. What awaits the young woman inside the burned out house will not be an easy task. Arýza needs to go inside the house but she is ready to bolt. He can _feel_ her panic, the desire to run is overwhelming and he cannot allow her to run any longer. It is time for her to face the darkness, the part of herself she denies and pushes down so far into her being it can only lash out in dreams. The blue eyes watch the pair intently; Dean cares for her, Castiel never had any doubts as to that. He offers her comfort, protects her even though he has his own pain to deal with, his own tormented dreams- memories that drive him to drink trying to forget. It doesn't help, not any of it and Castiel is amazed by the capacity they have for compassion in the face of all they've suffered.

Dean looks up, follows the finger Sam points and finds the familiar trench coat and their angel on her front porch. In the next instant Cas appears on the path, directly behind Arýza, his hand on her shoulder. Dean glares at the angel but before he can say anything they are both gone. Dean is left holding air and a moment later both men hear Arýza's voice echo from inside the house. Neither likes the sound of fear in the muffled words.

**Ω**

"Why?" her eyes shine with tears as Arýza questions her angel.

Castiel doesn't move, he stands as still as a statue the same as when he visited the day before. Then Arýza did not speak to him, wouldn't look at the angel. He studies her as he did before and wonders at the changes in the young woman she has become. She is overwhelmed by fear, it blinds her to anything else- to the strength he knows she possess but he also _feels_ her despair and sees her eyes wander over the charred walls…

Arýza is poised to flee, it's the only thing she can think of and glances past the angel standing in her way. The door is there, right there behind the angel forcing her to his will. Her eyes burn with unshed tears and she sniffles but when Castiel takes a step towards her Arýza backs away from him. She has no option but for the archway that leads into the family room. It's the only exit- exactly where Castiel wants her to go and Arýza rushes through the empty doorway. Castiel's blue eyes lower slightly, feels the rush of panic that sweeps her followed by fear. The angel ignores the boards torn off in front of the house, ignores the Winchesters' heavy footsteps as they approach. Dean is angry and Sam, both men concerned for the young woman he's left in their care the past five months. The angel focuses instead on the young woman he saved five years before and has tried to keep safe in the time that followed. Now he listens to the soft pleas he is powerless to aid.

Arýza heads first to the boarded windows; ignores the faded wall paper, the smudges of black and the mold. She pulls on the board, even braces her foot on the wall and pushes.

"Come on!" Arýza yells but the board won't budge and she's left with splinters. "Please, please, _please_!" she sobs and just as quickly swipes the tears from her eyes. She turns, surveying the room and immediately stops. On the opposite side of the wrecked room rests an ornate mirror. It's out of place in the abandoned house and her instinct is to step away only the wall stops her retreat. She stares at it, the elaborate frame, gilded in gold and silver leaf, shining as though there were lights in the room. Her reflection is crystal clear- not a speck of dust and that should be strange. It's the cold she notices when her breath streams in a puff in front of her face.

_"…you were supposed to change things…"_

The voice is hauntingly familiar and Arýza closes her eyes against the rush of emotions it brings.

_"…you've done nothing…"_

The dark head bows, arms wrapped around herself and she stifles a sob.

 _"…they're all dead._ We _are in pain, Arýza…"_

The tone is an exact echo, filled with disappointment, anger… Arýza looks up, right at the mirror and her image blurs under the fresh tears.

"I'm sorry." She blinks and takes a hesitant step towards the mirror, wipes the tears from her eyes and there's no difference, not a hair out place. "I'm so sorry, I didn't know, I didn't mean to run away…"

Alena's green eyes narrow, her classic features hardening and she jabs a finger at her daughter.

_"You're the reason they're all suffering! Because of you!"_

Arýza shakes her head, rushes towards the mirror and watches horrified at the flames licking over her brother, her Father … Silvery-green eyes flick to the burning image of her Mother. Arýza screams, horrified and almost reaches towards her.

"NO!" Dean yells. "Rýza!"

Cas takes hold of Dean's arm and keeps him back from the mirror. He refuses to let go even when Dean snarls at him to back off. Behind them Sam watches the image of the room waver. It bends and shimmers and when he's about to point this out something else takes shape in the glass. Hazel eyes narrow, but Sam can't make out the figure any clearer, all he is sure of is the man is dressed in red from the neck down. Sam thinks he can hear the clang of metal and shakes his head.

"Listen to me," Dean calls to her while struggling against the iron grip Cas has on him. "Arýza, don't touch it- just back up, away from that thing." He can see her struggle, her teeth biting into her lip and the flick of her eyes to the mirror and back at him. She's hesitating when all he wants is for her to do as he's asked of her.

_"…you didn't care, we never mattered…"_

"Please…" Arýza closes her eyes and tears streak down her cheeks. They were all she had, they were her world-

_"…it's your fault they're burning…"_

They all want something and Arýza is torn because she feels guilt. She lives and they all died and now she can make it better. She doesn’t know how but she needs to try … for them.

"I'll make it better." Her voice is a hoarse whisper, words neither man can make out and Castiel watches in silence as she faces the shimmering glass. Her Mother's voice swimming in her head and the brothers, both unaware of the taunting words Underland has thrown at her…

"Baby, no!" Dean yells, lunges towards her as her hand reaches for the glass. Her fingers stop an inch from the surface and Arýza looks back. Castiel's blue eyes never waver even as Dean struggles violently and Sam moves past them to stop her.

They don't understand…

"I'm sorry."

Her words hit Dean like a brick in the gut and he flounders, loses strength and Castiel hauls him back while Sam hesitates. They can see it, and Dean shakes his head denying what he sees in her eyes- defeat … fear … weary acceptance and maybe just a little bit of relief.

"No…" he repeats and a tear rolls down her cheek. They won't understand, she knows this and the look in Dean's eyes….

"I'm sorry…"

He thinks she's given up, that nothing he said to her has made a difference and that is not true. It's _because_ of his words, the courage he believes she possesses that Arýza needs to do as Castiel has asked. She draws in a breath, eyes closing-

"NO!" both men shout and Sam rushes towards her.

Arýza's hand presses flat on the mirror, she feels it vibrate, its soft hum getting louder and her reflected image gets brighter.

Castiel watches Arýza's form glow bright against the mirror, in the next instant the entire thing bursts into blinding light and Sam throws both arms up to shield his eyes against the glare.

"Arýza!"

Castiel stares impassively as she is gently pulled into the mirror, the light engulfing her form… its over just as quickly.

Now there are three where four once stood.

 

**Ω**


	3. Part III

**Ω**

Slowly, that's how she wakes. One sense at a time, listening to her surroundings and the quiet murmur and buzz of animals. She tests her body, shifting each limb until she is sure they work properly; no pain and no aches. She draws in a deep breath, blinks and focuses on what she can see though at first it makes no sense.

_'Where are they? What happened to my house?'_

Arýza sits up, looks around at the forest without recognition. For one, the trees all look warped, twisted unnaturally and their leaves are gray and brittle looking. She shifts, wincing at the sharp poke of a twig-

"My…clothes…" she looks at herself. The dress- the one she has no memory of ever buying let alone putting on- is blue, some shade of blue and soft. "What…" it's not the only thing that is changed; her feet are encased in tall black leather boots. Arýza plucks the twig out of her lace stockings carefully, admires the soft feel of the threads a little surprised to find they only reach to her thighs and still confused about how she ended up…

_'Where? What is this place?'_

She stands, fingers gliding over the soft leather jacket, enjoying the feel of it and trying to look around while not tripping over. Through the trees she sees a shadow and stops. She has no idea where she is let alone if it's safe.

_'I can't just stand around.'_

Of course not which is why Arýza trails the shadow, quietly and quickly, trying to get closer. She can hear him muttering but not what he's saying.

It is a he, has to be because of the top hat-

"Top hat?" Arýza frowns; she's close enough to get a good look now only something snags her foot. "Aah!" she grabs at the tree, hand curled around the branch only it snaps, the wood turning to dust in her palm and the ground gives way too. She's rolling down a steep embankment, sharp little stones and sticks poke and jab at her until she comes to rest in a puddle of water deep enough to cover her head.

"Shit!" Arýza gasps a breath, spitting out water and wiping the leaves off her face as she sits up. She's dripping and scowling at the puddle-

"You're all wet aren't you?"

Arýza scrambles to her feet almost falling back into the puddle while the top hat figure doesn't move.

"I…I'm…"

"All wet. Yes." He nods, visible only from the swaying of the top hat. "You won't get dry standing in the pond you know."

"Pond?" Arýza echoes and looks around only to see it wasn't a puddle- _'Wait a minute. This…it_ was _a puddle! I know it was.'_

"You don't know as much as you think you know, not when there isn't anything to know. You know?"

Arýza blinks. He makes no sense and yet it sounds reasonable enough and that makes her feel much more confused.

"Come." He steps out of the shadows and Arýza is taken aback by his appearance. From head to toe, this stranger is dressed in old Victorian attire. His coat is a dark wine color and his white shirt is stiff, the ruffled neck spilling over his waistcoat- a mesmerizing pattern of colors, to his black trousers and black tall boots. It's the top hat Arýza can't tear her eyes from, the 10/6 card tucked into the lavender band-

"Ten shillings, six pence or half a guinea."

He smiles at her, hand outstretched.

"Hatter, pleased to make your acquaintance Miss…"

"Arýza." She replies and takes his proffered hand. It's a good thing too because on the first step she almost lands back in the water. "Sorry…"

"Nonsense." Hatter replies, flicks a few strands of inky hair out of her face and tilts his head slightly. She's suddenly very aware of how close he's holding her and that she must be soaking his clothes-

"They will dry."

Arýza can't help but stare at him; she's at a loss for words because the stranger strongly reminds her of someone only she can't remember who or where or even how it's possible. She studies his features, latches onto the scar above his left eyebrow and is distracted by the mesmerizing shine of his blue-green eyes. He's pale and that makes his lips stand out even more-

"Uh…where…? I don't…" she can't seem to form a single sentence and doesn't like the breathy sound of her own voice but the stranger- _'Hatter. His name is Hatter.'_

"Where are you?" Hatter questions, arching an eyebrow. "A better question would be where you're not. Because you aren't knee deep in the pond and you aren't where you were before you were here so." He smiles, a bright flash of even white teeth and Arýza blinks. He's spoken nonsense again and yet its normal enough…

"My tortured girl," Hatter says drawing her into his side and starting to walk down the grassy path weaving between the trees. "Welcome to Underland."

**Ω**

"What the hell happened?" Dean is demanding answers from the angel who stands impassively, blue eyes on the mirror that isn't what it seems. "Cas!" Dean yells again and yanks on the trench coat. "What happened to Rýza?"

Castiel is silent, blue eyes on Michael's vessel and feels the need to tell him where the girl has been sent and has to clamp down on those 'human' emotions. For now he has done all he can.

"You damned feathered fuck!" Dean yells at the empty room. He turns to the mirror, hands in fists and Sam jumps in the way.

"Wait!" he holds his brother by his jacket, hazel eyes wide."Dean, what are you going to do?"

Dean has no clue, he just can't let this be the end, can't just let Arýza disappear into a mirror because the angels say so. He shoves against Sam, wants to smash his fist on the fucking glass more- almost as bad as he wants her back and it's the truth he saw in her eyes that eats at him.

_'She gave up.'_

"Listen!" Sam shoves him, little brother makes him back up a step and Dean stares up at him. "Just listen… we don't know where she is or what _this_ thing is." He looks at the mirror, feels a slight shiver run down his spine and forces the image of Arýza disappearing out of his mind for the moment. "We should think our next step through, before we start…jumping into mirrors." Because he thinks the figure was familiar- _felt_ it, and Sam has a bad feeling about this. He stares at the mirror again, wondering about the faded image behind the red figure- a forest…but nothing like he's ever seen before, even in dreams. Huge wispy trees, a sky- dark and thunderous and below a riot of colors- it makes no sense.

"Funny," Dean glares, green eyes on the mirror and not seeing anything funny of their situation. "Jumping wasn't exactly what I had in mind."

Sam isn't amused, knows his brother is only a breath away from doing something stupid and thinks that maybe, just this once Dean has allowed himself to care about someone else outside of their little family. Sam lets go of the jacket, draws in a breath and turns to the mirror. It has no place in the abandoned house, no reason it should have survived the fire if it had been there since then.

Somehow, neither brother believes the mirror has escaped vandalism the past five years- five years since the fire took Arýza's family. Less than that since she's been on the run- hiding…

 _'She's been out there, alone four years. Just her…'_ the green eyes harden to agates. He told her she was brave, more than she thought herself to be and he isn't going to give up on her.

**Ω**

Shadows flit from leaves to shrubs and flowers. She is almost positive they've spoken, can't quite make out the soft whispers at her back. When she looks there is nothing unusual-

"They're curious." Hatter's eyes sparkle, blue-green jewels in the dark and his face is pale as the moon above.

"Why?" Arýza hopes the riddles will begin to make more sense. She hopes the riddles stop and somehow knows they won’t- it's not how it's done in Underland and that knowledge both comforts and worries her.

"Why… they're chattering of the Alice-not-Alice." Hatter's smile grows wide- painfully so but he seems unaware. "Has she come to Underland for good? Burning with excitement!" and Hatter does a little jig around Arýza as they continue through the woods. He suddenly takes her arm and makes to walk around something with Arýza in tow only she doesn't see anything in the path- its clear, no obstructions at all and frowns.

"We mustn't be late." Hatter chides and pulls her along- around the harmless patch of grass he has avoided. The more they walk- deeper into Underland the less Arýza can remember of where she was… She looks about, brow furrowed at the unfamiliar familiarity of her surroundings.

Hatter keeps a firm grip- can't allow his Un-Alice to wander off, not in Underland. He steals another glance at her- just one more shadow though her eyes catch glimmers of moonlight to flash silver. His grip tightens automatically, instinctual response to the rush of anger that washes through him.

Arýza flinches at the pain, small hand grasping at Hatter's wrist-

"Careful here." A half gloved finger points to her feet and Arýza looks down. She gasps in shock, instinctively draws a pace back from the bottomless hole- one step, just one is all it would take and Arýza would be lost, sucked into the earth…

"You'd find it terribly inconvenient." Hatter points out, head tilted slightly. "Climbing out."

"Climb…?" Arýza echoes, brow furrowed. "There's no way to-."

"I do suppose you could jump." Hatter eyes her up and down, jeweled gaze lingering over her lace clad legs. "Can you?" he demands and just as quickly he surveys the dark woods. "Come along, my dear."

Hatter switches from curiosity to careless indifference easily, as if there were no memory of his previous query and now he's pulling her along once more.

"Hatter, I -. What-?" she looks over her shoulder, to the dirt and grass pushed up around the bottomless dark hole- a furry head is poking out of it, the flash of eyes looking their way before they disappear once again.

"What?" Arýza is confused- there had been no bottom to that pit… "It was wider." She is sure of it. "How did we get around?" she tugs on Hatter's sleeve and digs her heels in refusing to take another step.

"Around?" Hatter turns in place, a soft giggle accompanying the ridiculous movement and the color of his eyes swirls like a dizzying kaleidoscope. "Where around? To what-."

"Stop." Arýza begs, hands clutching at her temples. "Please, stop…"

Hatter's smile is once more in place. She sees the flash of silver in the dark, just a flicker behind Hatter that forms into a large shape- too fast and Arýza can't be sure it was ever there only it happens again. She begins to question what it could be, small hand reaching to point past Hatter's shoulder, drawing his attention when he yells. His pale face twists in pain as he is pulled towards the darkness beyond the trees.

"Hatter!" her own frightened voice calling to her companion.

The figure materializes- a young man dressed in dark gray, bare arms sporting a shimmering brand on each shoulder-

"Fancy you."

His voice- its deep, has a cool quality to the sound and her gaze is drawn to his face- just as pale as Hatter's but with a decidedly cerulean tint. His eyes are strange, a rainbow of silver, charcoal, blue and violet that swirl together and separate into rings. The iris is slit- lavender and silver…

"Welcome to Underland." His grin is secretive and wide, just a tad mocking. He turns away so quickly Arýza isn't sure he's even real. His arm is raised and the clang of metal echoes like a cathedral bell. Arýza drags in a breath, backs up horrified as Hatter clashes with this stranger. The ring of metal is loud, she can feel it in her bones, feels its sting and Hatter yells.

She watches as the shadow pounces, claws sharp and Arýza finds herself moving towards them. She can see this, all of it almost playing out like a movie and her hand grasps at the descending blade. He looks over his shoulder at her, the grin wide and feral, even white teeth bared and a swatch of dark blue-black hair falls over his brow.

Cheshire's surprised to see her move so quickly. His grin doesn't falter and he leaps out of Hatter's reach, rainbow eyes focused on Arýza. She steps past Hatter, her stance an exact mimic of his own half crouch. He can see the hesitation, the doubt ghost over her expression and he lunges towards her intent on side stepping and catching Hatter.

He expected some opposition, thought she might question him and when Arýza moves inside his attack forcing Cheshire to withdraw he snarls at her. She matches him move for move, a mirror image while Hatter stands back and gloats. It's the only distraction he gives her; confident in the familiar dance only Arýza breaks from the pattern. Her hand snakes out, open palm striking his chest. Cheshire's breath puffs out- surprise in the rainbow eyes and Arýza takes the blade from his slack hand. She doesn't even think, her arm keeps moving, aching over her head and plunging down. She feels the metal slide into muscle and tissue, bounce on bone and twist in her grasp-

Cheshire's smile never leaves his face, the rainbow eyes just a little wider in shock and surprise as he falls to his knees in front of her. The pain is fleeting- just one more life but he is so proud. She can see it, the gleam in his eyes and the smile while she drags in a breath and steps back.

Arýza shakes her head, eyes never leaving the fading figure as it dissipates. She can still _feel_ it, feel the knife in her hand as it sliced through him…

"What have I done?" her soft whisper is horrified. Hatter's smile is gloating and wide as he steps behind Arýza and wraps his arms around her trembling frame. He holds her as Cheshire finally blows away and they stand in the moonlit woods of Underland.

"Anywhere." He murmurs over her head to the empty spot where his Un-Alice has killed the Cat she would follow blindly through Underland.

**Ω**

Bobby sits in the chair; his coffee has long since gone cold as he studies the mirror. He's dug up squat- no makers mark to search so he sits there pondering what the next step will be. He doesn't understand what the connection is between Arýza, the mirror and the Winchesters but he knows there is one. The angels have too much of an interest in a runaway girl with a tragic past to just chuck it aside.

"Fresh coffee." Sam offers, holding out the steaming mug and Bobby trades him for the cold one. They've put the seals on hold for now; Dean wants nothing to do with the angels and their orders. Bobby wonders how much longer they'll allow him to sulk but the boy has reason. Hell, even Bobby wonders what is so all damn important the girl was sucked into the mirror for-

"She never said anything?" Bobby asks yet again because Arýza had to know something and Sam shakes his head 'No'. He's told the hunter over and over again Arýza never said a word before she disappeared. Not to him and Dean isn't up to talking and plainly told Sam to 'fuck off'- not in those words but the tone was there.

They transported the mirror to Bobby's, Dean wouldn't leave it there and Sam agrees it made sense. The damn thing is heavy, hard to maneuver through boarded exits and not once did any of the neighbors come out to see what the ruckus was about. He scowls at the floor, to think it had been the same way the night her house caught fire, when her family needed help…

"Don't know where else to look." Bobby sighs, a tired hand wiping his face. "I've been through all the mirror lore I can find and then some." He grunts, bleary eyes on the mirror resting against the wall of his living room. "Aint nothing there on this." His chin just towards the glass, the image reflected back at him, almost mocking him.

Sam leans forward in his chair, hands dangling over his legs. He is certain that if Arýza spoke of her family- ever mentioned anything… she would have told Dean.

_'And why? Just because they slept together?'_

He scowls, sees her again in his mind. So small- delicate and fragile dwarfed by his brother but even in that glimpse before Sam turned his face away… he can't deny there was a tenderness in Dean's touch as he held Arýza to him.

Sam draws a cleansing breath and reaches for his Dad's journal. They've looked everywhere else, all of Bobby's books and then some. All they are certain of is that the mirror is part of the family's legacy. How it ever got shipped from England to the US… they can't find any records and Sam has the niggling suspicion the mirror had angelic help in getting across the ocean.

All Castiel would say is that Arýza had to be whole and going home would do that for her. And now Arýza is gone and they have no idea how to help her. They don't know _what_ kind of help she needs…

"He still out there?" Bobby nods towards the back door.

"Yeah." Sam assures, his brother hasn't moved from the swing since he took his bottle out at dusk. The cold eventually brings him in but Sam still casts a worried look towards the kitchen and the man sitting outside in the dark. He doesn't voice his concern, doesn't have to because Bobby feels it too. There's something deeper at work, something they don't know about aside from the fact it won't be good.

They all wait for the other shoe to drop.

**Ω**

It's the same table and broken saucers with a hundred different teapots scattered on the lace cloth. Only for an instant, then the image fades. It's a twisted version of shiny red and black teacups, saucers and pots in varying styles. The never ending table is draped in a silvery silk cloth and Hatter pulls out the fancy ebony wood chair for Arýza to sit in. She blinks, unmoving and stares at the ornate carvings- hearts and clovers and clubs with vines… there's a sword etched into the black leather; nothing changes.

"Let's have tea." Hatter glides over, a firm grip on Arýza's elbow and she moves. She can't resist and the soft clump of her boots is muffled by the grass.

_'Grass?'_

Hatter sits her down and Arýza's wandering gaze returns to the table. She blinks and yet it's still a table but she can't forget what she's done-

"Rosemary, cinnamon, apple, sugar, lemongrass, wheat grass…" Hatter chatters with a shrug and smile as the tea pours on its own. "One lump of two? Cream?" he questions while two sugar squares jump into her cup and a dash of cream splashes in. Her eyes wander towards him as he drinks from the shiny red cup. She doesn't like it and sets her own tea aside, eyes wandering over the endless empty table…

"Is there no one else?"

Hatter's cup shatters and tea falls in glimmering drops that turn to dust only to blow away and the saucer is tossed over his shoulder.

"Of course." Hatter smiles, a quick flash of even white teeth and it's gone. "More tea?" he asks then claps his hands and there's a new teacup in front of him. "One lump or two?"

Arýza frowns, looks down and sees the black cup, a curl of steam wafting up. She's suddenly cold, aware of her damp clothes…

Hatter fakes indifference though he's watching her intently from the rim of his cup. Her hands slowly curl around the tea…

"I'll take you anywhere." Hatter murmurs under his breath, eye shinning feverishly while Arýza takes comfort in the warmth of the tea.

He's waited too long, been patient enough and though it isn't Alice, the Alice of old, this one is here-present, in the flesh and tortured too.

"Hatter?" Arýza sets the half empty cup aside, her silvery-green eyes flicking over the table yet again before settling on him. "I'm cold." She was shivering before, still shivers though now it isn't only for her damp clothes…

For a moment Hatter wants nothing more than to ease her pain. Make Underland as beautiful as it was and show it to her-

"More tea?" the cup and saucer in his hands crumble and he picks up two more. He clinks those together and Arýza flinches when they shatter. He hasn't stopped smiling. He hasn't said anything other than his nonsensical nonsense. His blue-green eyes shine brighter.

"Do you like hats? Everyone likes hats." Hatter says and picks up a tea pot. "You should have one." He starts to serve them some more only to stand. He lets go and the pot crashes onto the table. It cracks, rolls on its side and spills. Arýza jumps in her seat, eyes glued to the spreading stain on the cloth. Hatter is there, behind her chair. "Oh yes," he murmurs, his fingers run through her damp hair, gently tracing her skull, face bent close. "Yes, yes, just right…" he draws her up suddenly and Arýza has trouble focusing; the stain has spread, become a pond right there on the table. There's a teacup, its rim chipped, floating in the center…

"Is that real?" Arýza questions as Hatter turns her around. She's confused- more than she had been at the start and how long has she been in Underland? How much time has passed since she's… since she…

"Of course it is." He forces her eyes to his, makes her focus only on him, she doesn't need to remember anything else in Underland.

Arýza feels strange, more so than before and blinks trying to make her brain function properly, only its Hatter and the mesmerizing swirl of his blue-green eyes.

"…like jewels…" she murmurs, reaching her hand to his face.

Hatter doesn't stop her, holds as still as a statue. He _needs_ to feel her touch and when he does it isn't the same.

"Not my Alice." He mutters again and sighs, almost closing his eyes when she outlines his face. Her small hand; the warmth of a human touch…

Arýza's fingers tentatively trace over his cheek and down to glide over his mouth, so red it can't be real and yet it all feels so…tangible.

"…I know you…?" she's hesitant, not sure but she has the feeling- a sense of déjà vu when she saw Hatter standing at the edge of her puddle–pond. It was the same sense of recognition with the man in black- _'Cat.'_

"No!" Hatter snarls and his grip is painful. Arýza is all too aware of the table digging painfully into her back- of where he has her, the sharp planes of his hips pressing against hers…

"He tried to kill me." He says each word distinctly, quietly, teeth clenched and his eyes shine more green than blue.

It's true. Arýza saw it herself, came to Hatter's defense in that meadow-

"Yes." Hatter's grip slowly eases. "You did, my tortured girl." His smile returns and still it doesn't reach his eyes.

"I did…" Arýza echoes, brow furrowing slightly. Everything around them shifts and fades and blinking doesn't help at all. The world tilts and the ghost of phantom hands grip painfully at her arms and slide down to her wrists then are gone.

"Anywhere," Hatter murmurs. Arýza blinks; eyes truly open and finds herself resting on the table. There's teacups and saucers and pots scattered around her. She's fully aware of his touch and his hands reaching under the blue ocean but there isn't any concern, no feeling at all- its Hatter... The top hat tilts dangerously, its 10/6 card; _'Ten shillings, one six pence or half a guinea.'_ The price for a hat…

"I'll take you anywhere." Hatter says again, his voice sharp. The top hat falls, glides onto the table to land in the pond where it crushes the tea cup. His dark hair falls over his forehead, gets in his eyes and she brushes it back with a small hand. It's the gentle touch that makes him pause; hesitate in the path he's set on -

"Anywhere." He repeats in a harsh tone. His eyes shine bright green again and the blue skirt of her dress is bunched around her waist.

She rests her hands on his shoulders, feels the soft fabric of his coat under her palms, absently exploring the texture... Arýza notices the stormy sky overhead and the moon shining between the clouds. She feels the icy touch of his hand and there's an instant of alarm, when silk blows away and the cold brushes over bare skin and is immediately replaced with a sharp thrust. Her fingers clench in the material, digging into his shoulders as his clamp on her thigh.

"Anywhere..." Hatter says in her ear, ignoring the soft gasp of breath caught in her throat. He can take her anywhere and does, will do so anytime and Cheshire has no say. Hatter grins, his laughter bubbling up but gloating can wait until after, when he's had his fill of her warmth.

"Anywhere." Arýza echoes breathlessly. The tinkling of shattering cups is a faint echo in her ears; she is numb to anything but Hatter. All she sees is the bright green shine of his eyes. All she feels is the icy touch of his mouth pressed over hers, the sweet taste of his tongue in her mouth and uncomfortable mass inside her.

Hatter bites on her lip, hears the whimper of pain and the coppery taste of blood disappears in the red of his lips. All sound is magnified; the scrape of the heavy table with each thrust of his hips, her soft moans and breathless incoherent words-

 _"…No…" "…please…"_ and the hesitant _"…stop…"_ that ends in a sighed pant, half questioning and unsure. Arýza clings to him but Hatter knows deep down it isn't he that she is begging, pulling deeper to the fire he is chasing.

His face swims above her, swirling green eyes, huge in the pale face only there's a bright flush to Hatter's cheeks. She takes the pain as her due, offers a faint passive protest and shifts for their mutual benefit. It's the filling sensation, of somehow belonging; being part of something and that is confusing. It isn't right and she doesn't know how to change anything.

Anger bubbles up and Hatter envelopes Arýza, the silk cloth clumps around her shape as he draws her to the edge. A hand tangles in the dark waves of her hair, insistent and demanding. The threads of her thigh stockings catch on his coat button, the delicate pattern torn. The storm builds up, fed from them to tear at Hatter's lonely tea party.

There is nothing outside of the frame, the portrait of a Mad Hatter, trousers around his ankles while his un-Alice is spread under him…

 

**Ω**


	4. Part IV

**Ω**

_She stands at the window staring at the rain pelting the glass, moping. It's her birthday and even if the songs says 'I'll cry if I want to' it seems pointless when heaven is doing it for her._

_"Rýza,"_

_She sighs but turns to face her Mother and there's a small red box in her hand. Arýza grins and runs across the room._

_"Presents? Really Mom?" because they'd said there wouldn't be any, had told her not to expect much and she understands why._

_"It belonged to your Grandmother Astrid." One of the few able to keep her sanity and face the family's burden… Light green eyes rest on the box, there's no smile, can't be for what she is about to do to Arýza._

_"What is it?" Arýza questions, brow slightly furrowed. She doesn't remember the old woman very well; hardly ever saw her because she lived in London, in the family home. It occurs to her that it might be her inheritance and that's sobering, dampens her initial excitement over receiving a gift._

_It's only been a month. The family mourns- observes the strictest etiquette in respect for the old woman's passing. They wear black from head to toe- no exception. Arýza's friends question her about it, the black but they don't understand, think it's so lame…_

_Arýza would agree with them, only…_

_"Open it." Alena holds out the box, eyes on her daughter and knows there is nothing she can do to change this._

_Small hands reach towards it, curl around the red leather carefully and take possession innocently._

**Ω**

"Alice in Wonderland?" Dean is clearly having trouble believing Sam but the proof is right there in front of them. The gold and silver leaf frame still resting against Bobby's shabby living room wall. He can't get the image of Arýza out of his head, her small hand pressing on the surface and the blinding light that took her-. He can't stop thinking of her; the tears in her eyes, the expression- he knows what it is, what he saw- sorrow, guilt, and that he doesn't understand. He doesn't know what there is for her to feel guilty over…

Dean rubs both hands over his face, they're no closer to figuring out where she is and Sam is talking fairy tales.

"…said the woman was screaming 'off with their heads' and a man with gold eyes-."

"Whoa, wait, what?" Dean sits up, his focus now on Sam instead of the mirror and the last sight he has of Arýza- Dean scowls. Just the mere mention of Yellow Eyes puts him in a bad mood and here it's sounding as if there's a tie to Arýza and the death of her family. "Yellow Eyes."

Its been two years and here that SOB is still coming up to haunt them!

Even Bobby won't touch that subject and it's all on Sam to explain it again. He draws a long suffering breath and eyes his brother, who is likely half-drunk already but at least he came in earlier than usual. And what Sam has to say about Arýza…

"Here." Sam opens the worn journal and shoves it under Dean's nose. "Dad made a note of this. A case he followed up on-."

"Because of the man with gold eyes." Dean finishes for him reading the short paragraph their Father wrote years before. A woman- to all appearances normal and healthy. One day she started yelling 'off with their heads!' and no one paid her much attention until they found the first decapitated corpse in her living room. She'd claimed the golden eyed King had approved them all… just another nut. Only John had spoken to her; _"…the mirror was stolen. The family of the victim tried to claim it but had no documentation to prove it was theirs. It's gone now; the original owners took possession…"_

"Dad would've followed up on this. He would have tried speaking to the original owners but they were never mentioned." Sam grabs the file on Bobby's desk and flips through it. "Here." The faded picture shows a young woman sitting on a couch, two others in chairs but Dean's attention is taken by the familiar frame hanging in the background. "It was theirs- Arýza's family owns this."

Sam looks towards the ornate mirror in Bobby's house. Dean sits back, shakes his head and tries to stop his head from spinning. _'Did she know?'_ he can't help the flash of anger, to think that she kept that to herself, maybe lied to them and no, not _outright_ lied but she never said anything and that's worse than lying isn't it?

"Friend sent me this." Bobby walks around the desk unrolling a faded parchment. Sam lends a hand and together they have the long sheet laid on the cleared table. "Got it this morning along with a few other… let's leave it at interesting." He blows a short breath past his lips and Sam points out the obvious.

"This is her family tree."

Dean gains his feet, green eyes narrowed glancing from Bobby to Sam and stops between them to stare at the chart. That brittle, yellowed paper filled with names…

"Now, the story wasn't just something dreamt up to entertain a young girl- two actually, and it wasn't until later that it became a published piece. Everyone _thinks_ it's a coming of age tale…" Sam has this glint in his hazel eyes, college boy tone and it's not the time to be showing off. "This was real, Dean. Alice Liddell was real, and Wonderland- the book, I'm pretty sure it was _all_ real."

"Sam-. Come on!" Dean exclaims. He's looking for a way to help Arýza, find her and Sam is- he's-

"I know how this sounds, Dean." Sam straightens and Bobby hangs his head over the chart. He knows exactly what's going through Dean's mind, it's the same thing Bobby was thinking when he first heard this and arguing about what's real and not is a waste of time they can't afford.

"Hell, I'm with you, Dean. Seems farfetched- crazy…" Bobby eyes him. "Then again, we've been dealing with angels." Incredible as that had sounded at first.

"Fine." Dean snaps and looks at the chart they are so ready to take as truth. The names are faded but still legible and there's so many of them-

"It starts with Alice." Sam begins. "From the book we know of her experience but there's nothing else. Until," he taps a faded name on a lower branch, "Alma Dunn," he looks to Bobby who moves to get a dusty file from under the pile he has stacked on the chair.

"The girl was institutionalized."

"For what?" Dean is surprised, reads the initial report and sees the girl was only thirteen.

"Keep reading." Bobby orders. "And she aint the last one."

Dean looks up from the yellowed papers in his hands, eyebrow raised but Bobby isn't kidding. The file is all kinds of interesting, mostly because the girl, Alma, suffered 'terrible nightmares'. She was caged after a particularly violent episode in which she hurt another member of the family- not named and Dean can't find any confirmation that was true. The file lists the various treatments the girl underwent- it's a creepy reminder of the ghostly doctor from the haunted asylum they worked two years back.

"There were others after, Alma?" he looks up and Bobby's holding another file for him. Four more to be exact, each thick and yellowed. There's a picture of each girl in the recent ones. They were all girls, barely teens and each one started the same as the one before…suffering from nightmares and hallucinations.

"Only girls." Sam points out. "A few other Alice's but these; Alicia McDane, Alizé Devoe, Ally Graze, Allison Beck…"

"I get it." Dean assures and flips through the fifth file Bobby hands him. "All of them have names that begin with 'A' or vary on 'Alice'. So far all of them had nightmares and then they were sent to a hospital." He glares at Sam because they both know Arýza's sleeping habits and Dean isn't about to let his brother imply she's messed up. He knows her dreams are of the fire, what she saw and heard- he felt the faded scar on her shoulder… He listened to the hesitant whisper of her voice answer his questions- he still didn’t get much, just bits to fill in what Bobby managed to dig up on her. He knows she was afraid, has run because of it and questions her sanity because it just doesn’t seem real … at least it hadn't when she was alone …

"Dean," Sam huffs a tired breath. He doesn't want to argue with Dean about Arýza, doesn't want to point out the obvious- that there is a pattern here, that there is a lot of sense in what Bobby and he have been able to uncover.

"No." Dean glares and the files land on the table. He looks at them both, his jaw clenched. "She barely made it out of a burning house. She's been running ever since, avoiding people and who the hell knows what other things she's come across on her own. No." he won't stand there and listen to krap. He knows what its like to close your eyes and only see the screaming faces, hear the pain, _feel_ it… She suffers her nightmares in silence, she isn't violent, not his pixie and Sam should know that.

"We don't know anything about Arýza, Dean." It's the puppy dog eyes and that just pisses off Dean more. "She doesn't talk, doesn't deny or explain anything we've asked her- unless," Sam pauses, eyes his brother and leans on the table. "Unless she told you something."

Dean glares at Sam, fists clenched and his little brother just stands there, all high and mighty when its _Sam_ drinking demon blood, _Sam_ lying, _Sam_ fucking a demon, Sam SamSamSam and what the fuck for?

"No."

Bobby interrupts the silent glaring match and sets a picture on the table, tapping it with his finger to get their attention.

"Either of you recognize this?"

It's a moment before Sam and Dean both look down. The woman in the photograph bears a slight resemblance with Arýza, around her eyes and mouth, the dark hair… both notice the pendant she is wearing and while Sam turns to look at the mirror Dean runs his finger along the omega, tracing its shape and remembers doing the same on Arýza when she untangled it from her hair.

"She has one." Dean looks up at Bobby. She'd told him it was a gift, got it for her thirteenth birthday, just a few weeks after her grandmother died.

"It's on the mirror, in the gold leaf." Sam points out, his nose inches from the heavy frame as he traces the pattern carved in the wood. Bobby saw it before, when he went over the damn thing trying to find a makers mark. The leafs or what he'd though were leafs… just more of the omega's intertwined.

"Idjits." Bobby grumbles. He remembers looking up some information on a case the boys had been working on months ago. It's incredible the things that seem to escape the boys when Bobby knows neither of them is stupid. Then again this is becoming more and more about the Seals and Lucifer than just their run of the mill hunting. "Didn't you boys have a case-."

"The mausoleum." Dean cuts it, clearly remembers looking for the symbol on the-

"The same night we -."

"Almost got her killed." Dean frowns at his brother, thinks back to that night five months ago and how she wasn't surprised by the demons, her quick action and now the remnants of the sigils on the walls and the door makes sense. Arýza had been hiding, had protected her little hideout and they'd barged in, tore it down and left her defenseless. She'd had more than enough good reason to be angry with them…

There's a million things going through his mind and foremost is where Arýza knew to draw those sigils. How did she know about demons before the Winchesters ever got to her…?

"CASTIEL!"

Dean's voice echoes through Bobby's house and he doesn't stop yelling for the angel, just like he doesn't plan on letting the pigeon get away without answering his questions.

**Ω**

Arýza wakes, silvery-green eyes blinking in the faint light.

_"…anywhere…"_

Hatter's echo rings deeply and the slightest shift brings reminders of how easily he has taken her. She offers no protest each time, can barely remember why she should-

"More tea?" Hatter asks at her side, the tea cup held out for her. She still won't take the red cups though she doesn't know why. Black or gray…

Arýza sits up, sips from the tea while Hatter watches intently. He brushes inky strands over her shoulder, pale thin hands skimming over her bare skin. They've come to see the un-Alice, residents of Underland and it's almost time only she's so full of warmth…

Arýza flinches at the feel of his cold mouth on her neck. As usual Hatter doesn't care and he mutters under his breath the same promise over and over. _"I'll take you anywhere."_ She shivers when his hand grasps her hip. The silk tablecloth is like her, offering no resistance as he pulls Arýza to the edge.

Hatter takes the teacup and carelessly tosses it on the table. Blue-green eyes swirl with mesmerizing insanity and Arýza ignores it in favor of removing his coat. She flinches from the cold touch of his mouth, reaches up for the top hat and carefully sets it on the table ignoring as he slips the shoulders of her dress down her arms. She shivers from the touch of hands, winces at the feel of his hands skimming over her chest. When she faces Hatter again his eyes are glued to the gold pendant hanging between her breasts.

He runs his hands over her, palms each breast while Arýza sits still under the assault, she isn't supposed to go anywhere, do anything other than what Hatter says…

She's been staring at the trees, following the clouds-anything to keep from feeling the cold each time Hatter makes his promise, same words over and over-

"…warm, still full of warmth…" Hatter mutters trailing his hands on her thighs. His eyes swirl, the colors blending as he stares at the pendant. He doesn't miss the slight wince in her expression as he parts her legs, the hiss of breath as he reaches a hand between her thighs and he searches for that warmth he's begun to crave more of. She sits still for him, like a statue only she is flesh and blood… Hatter reaches up; a single finger taps tentatively at the charm. Arýza gasps at the flash of heat, jerks away from Hatter and bumps a teapot over. He glares and the faint image of a blond man with green eyes that fades as quickly as it appeared to leave Arýza confused.

"Once more." Hatter assures, hands painfully gripping her thighs as he pulls her towards him. Arýza draws back, brow furrowed but Hatter doesn't give her time to think. He pins her down, grips her hips and her addicting warmth envelopes him.

"…wait…!" Arýza gasps with a shiver that has her trembling in his embrace. She tries to remember, pushes against him to bring back the image but its Hatter's swirling blue-green eyes Arýza can't ignore and the uncomfortable mass once more pushing in.

"Just one." Hatter moans against her mouth, swallowing her whimper. His fingers grab at her shoulder, the strap easily sliding down and his tongue is licking at her skin finding even more to taste than the time before. There's always more, each time more so he doesn't think it will ever be enough.

"…please…" Arýza moans, eyes turning towards the sky and tries just once more to push against Hatter. She feels the cold seep deeper into her, fill her from the inside until it pours out. "…cold…" another tremor tears through her and she grips Hatter's coat looking for warmth.

"Yes," Hatter agrees. "Yes, yes." Just once more, one more has to be enough after all, she is willing. It isn't his Alice but this tortured girl is good enough if not more than. He doesn't care about her soft whimpers, ignores the weak pleas. This time she is _his_.

For Arýza the world only consists of Hatter and she makes the best of it. There's no comfort anyway she moves to accommodate him. No relief for the wicked and she is wicked-

_'The beginning…'_

The voice is familiar, the cool tone, its slight accent- a memory of a place forgotten, a place full of wonder and magic and…warmth.

"More!" Hatter exclaims, hips thrusting hard enough the table moves. He gets his wish, the heat slowly building, changing, becoming unbearable and yet he won't let her go. He can't and Arýza is no better the way she holds to him. She pulls on his coat, drags him towards her only there isn't any relief.

It's the burst of heat, an incandescent glow and it envelopes her. The freezing chills she's suffered through abates just slightly and Hatter can't ignore it. He doesn't like the heat, its more than he wants to feel and yet he stubbornly refuses to let her go- "Not yet."

She arches off the table, flush against him and Hatter finally jerks back clutching at his chest where the white shirt has been singed. His eyes swirl blue-green, faster and faster and the shape is clear.

"You…" he taps at the red mark on his skin and it hurts, pains him to the very bone…

Silvery-green eyes watch him and Hatter knows she is lucid, clearly aware of her surroundings. This time she isn't going to be easy to tame, confuse and riddle until he has her turned around, bent to his desires.

"Not _anywhere!_ " her tone is sharp, eyes dark with anger. Her small hands tremble as she pulls the sleeves back in place, covering herself. He doesn't miss the wince of pain as she slips off the table, the unsteadiness of her legs and her skirt is tugged down but she can't fix the torn stockings, she can't banish the marks on her skin from his teeth and his hands.

"Anywhere, Un-Alice." Hatter grins. He takes two strides and has her in hand before she even makes a move to stop him.

"No! And I'm not Alice!" she yells. Arýza pushes against him, makes a fist and punches Hatter. He only grins, blood on his lip and then Arýza feels the heavy blow on her cheek. All she sees is the silk table cloth, catches sight of green patches before the sky is once more overhead.

"No-!" she's breathless as his weight crushes her. "Get off!" this time she tastes blood on her lip and she has to blink in order to focus.

Hatter keeps his hand on her neck, holds her down and makes his promise again. Her struggles are weak and she claws at his hand. He feels her buck under him, the grin widening, eyes shining bright green. She screams at him; panic, fear… Hatter loves the sound, the _feel_ of his tortured girl.

**Ω**

He stands silent under their scrutiny, blue eyes unflinching before Dean's angry demands for answers on Arýza and what the mirror did to her. They don't understand because they don't _know_ and Castiel is not allowed to tell them.

"Where!"

Cas shifts his gaze from Sam to Dean, head slightly tilted- as though he's trying to figure something out. He knows they don't like it; they fight everything they are asked to do, always question each command- they disobey…

"You can't follow her."

Confusion flashes in the green eyes before anger dominates him again. Dean doesn't want to hear 'can't' when he's asking 'where'.

"Why the hell not?"

"What do you mean 'follow'? Is she in Wonderland?" Sam doesn't expect the angel to stand so close to him so suddenly. They've spoken to him about 'personal space' before- well, Dean has. The blue eyes seem to flash with inner light and there's no doubt the angel is displeased.

"No." Cas answers, its as much as he's able to tell them though it seems they've learned enough on their own. He wonders at how his brothers tend to underestimate the humans, to look down upon them when its clear there is more to them than the chaos they create.

"But the mirror…" Sam protests. "It has the omega and Arýza wore the same pendant that's in the picture of her grandmother. It was hers. Wasn't it?"

Cas just stares at them, all three think they _know_ -think they have all the answers about the girl and Sam has most of it already. Sam and Bobby have found a lot of information- things they weren't meant to know and down deep, Castiel is pleased that they have.

"What does it mean? What is she?" Dean hates to ask the next question but it has to be answered. "Why was Azazel interested in her?"

"Azazel has nothing to do with Arýza or her family." Cas frowns, his gaze wanders over the three men again and he moves towards the mirror. He studies it and the reflection of them in it. The blue eyes narrow and a soft image of Underland forms in the glass; the spindly forest trees, the riot of brilliant colors of the flowers and the expanse of green from the fields… in the distance stands the castle, its bloody visage an abomination to what Underland had once been. He can _feel_ its power, hear the soft hum the mirror emits- too low for the hunters to ever notice. No, Azazel has nothing to do with Arýza, with Underland… but Arýza has her part to play.

Sam takes a step back from the intensity of Castiel's gaze when Dean moves in.

"What the hell is going on, Cas!" because the angels give the barest amount of information- none aside from giving orders.

Bobby steps in, calmly motioning for Dean to back down as he addresses the angel jerking them around before Dean gets himself in 'trouble'.

"We already know she has something to do with the boys… is she in trouble?"

Cas looks at Bobby, the concern for Arýza and wonders at the reason for it. Bobby has no ties to the girl, knows nothing of her… yet he worries and again Castiel doesn't understand the abhorrence his brothers have for the humans. They are not all bad – tainted … there are redeeming qualities in each.

He looks towards the mirror again, finds Bobby's reflection and the smoke only dims the brilliant hues. The blue eyes shift towards Dean and yes, they all have a part to play in this game- two fold and Cas was always right. The Cat stares back at him, cocky grin in place. Each of them a part of the men in the room…

"She has help." He turns away and Dean calls him back, like a human would call his dog and Cas is _not_ a dog. " _You_ can't help her." His tone is harsh, voice low and Dean recognizes it, can't forget the threat uttered in the same tone that first meeting between them. "It's not your place, Dean. Protect the seals, that is what you _should_ be doing."

"Why?" Sam draws their attention, stands beside the mirror and Castiel sees the red figure reflected in the glass. "You left her with us, no explanation and now we just leave her? To what? Why aren't you telling us anything? Why won't you let us help her?"

And what is Cas supposed to tell them? That Arýza's task will either save them or damn them just as much as Sam's actions will affect their futures? At least with her there is a chance of saving a soul- the one for the good of the many…

"You cannot follow her." Cas states once more to the brothers. His stare lingers a bit longer on Sam and that makes him shift uncomfortably. They both know Sam lies; the darkness sweeps over him and he doesn't fight it, turns blindly from the precipice he is rushing towards. "Protect the seals."

Dean curses loudly at his disappearance.

**Ω**

He lays her by the pool, rainbow eyes staring intently at her bruised cheek. Cheshire doesn't realize his teeth are bared and the soft growl makes her stir. He backs up, doesn’t want to frighten her and forces his anger to heel. Her brow furrows, she must be in pain and Cat moves to the pool where he dips a patch of moss into the water before returning to her side. The cool touch on her face wakes her and the silvery-green eyes he remembers flutter open. He has missed her…

She stiffens momentarily at his touch and he waits, doesn't move or speak and Arýza calms. He wipes the dried blood from her lip, the familiar gentle touch … She knows him and her eyes shimmer for what she's done.

"Cat."

His slow smile at her name for him earns a little sob then Arýza sits up and Cheshire takes her in his arms. He never hesitates and his touch is gentle.

"I'm sorry." She holds onto him with both arms, face buried in his chest doing her best not to cry anymore. She can think only of what she's done- the feel of the knife in her hand, cutting into him without hesitation…

"You did exactly as you should." Cheshire assures. He isn't upset over the knife she stuck in him, that's exactly what he'd taught her to do and expected no less. "I would've been disappointed otherwise."

"But I hurt you-." Arýza protests, pulls away to look up and finds that same grin on his face. The inky blue hair and violet streaks reaches to his shoulders, falls in his eyes… she doesn't think twice of reaching up and running her fingers through it.

"Nothing is ever permanent in Underland, Arýza. How many times have I told you so?" his eyebrow raises slightly in mocking question. The familiar gesture only makes her feel worse- how could she have ever forgotten? He is unique- nobody else anywhere could come close to comparing to Cheshire…

"You forgot how Hatter likes his tea." White teeth flash quick and he growls deep in his chest, eyes narrowed and she can easily see his hair puff up and almost wants to laugh at how much like a cat he behaves and remembers that is exactly what Cheshire is.

"The tea?" her brow furrows and its obvious there's a lot she has forgotten. Her eyes wander the forest where they are and can't help but feel it is all familiar and yet there is nothing she recognizes.

"Hatter." Cheshire repeats just a little harsher, drawing her attention. "He isn't the same Hatter, Arýza.” Not the same and yet he is, the tea is still laced with his favorite poisons and while they aren't exactly the lethal kind, Hatter's tea damages the mind as much a he does with his words. “I tried to warn you- well," he shrugs because really, Cat had wanted to kill Hatter.  The feeling has intensified and were it not for the CardGuards invading Hatter's two person tea party, Cat would have his head.

"You've had _other_ lessons." Cat notes and he knows where the skills have been learned. He is only grateful Arýza has improved because he has feared her time away had erased the memories of Underland.

"No." Arýza shakes her head only she has a flash of memory- an image of two men, both striking at each other and laughing... "I've…."

Cat doesn't miss how quickly she looks away from him, hides her eyes and knows there is something she doesn't want to speak of. All Arýza can think of is the Winchesters, remembers their attempts at self-defense lessons, of watching them- studying their moves… She remembers Dean, in that moment before leaving; _'I hurt him.'_

There was never any choice for her. When Castiel placed her in their care, spending those months with them, hunting, chasing after the seals… Underland was always Arýza's destination.

"What happened, Cat? Why is- why did he…?" her voice breaks and Arýza wipes her eyes again. She can't believe _her_ Hatter would do them any harm. She remembers Underland…of visiting and the three of them; Cat, Hatter and Arýza running free through Underland Woods, swimming in the pools with Cat while Hatter sat out because he said it wasn't how a proper tea party was supposed to be conducted. They'd always splash Hatter, laugh and drench him and Hatter would pretend to be upset… "What happened to him?"

Cat traces the sad droop of her dusky lips, careful not to hurt her more than Hatter has already. He knows what comes next, where he needs to take her and wishes they had just a little more time together.

He has missed her.

"It's the RedKing." His hand cups on her jaw and neck, a warm weight she leans into and Cat wants nothing more than to erase the sorrow from the silver-green eyes he can easily remember shining with mischief and mirth. "He rules Underland and this is what's become of our home."

It's a dark and twisted version of what she remembers. Cat isn't happy and the anger is easy to see and _feel_ \- Arýza reaches her hands to his face, traces the outline of his jaw and up to his brow. The touch of her small hand smooth's the scowl from his face and the rainbow eyes close for a moment. Her tentative smile is in response to the soft purr Cat emits at her touch. Memories surface- of Cat and… Arýza draws back, smile gone and stares at Cheshire.

Rainbow eyes lock with silver-green.

**Ω**

The RedKing sends his guards to retrieve the Un-Alice. A unit of Hearts, the strongest of the card force. He will take no risks where the Un-Alice is concerned. What the RedKing does not count on is Cheshire Cat and his own attempt to retrieve the Un-Alice from Hatter. One returns, _one_ of the entire troop…

Hatter falls to his knees, hat gone and shirt torn. There's blood on his cheek, running down his temple and staining his once pristinely white shirt. A dark swatch of hair falls in his eyes but even so the shine of blue-green is clearly visible.

"You were given a task."

Hatter stiffens; head bent and waits for the blow. He doesn't for one second feel comforted by the gentle- almost lazy tone of voice.

"Where is the girl?"

He shakes his head and slowly looks up at the red armored figure reclining on the ornate chair. The gold eyes narrow and that doesn't bode well for Hatter.

"She was with you."

Hatter can't deny that, not when all of Underland saw her at his table. He showed her off- happy to do so, to _use_ her knowing the tale would eventually reach the Cat. Even now Hatter's red mouth slowly curls at the corners, the memory of the rainbow eyes narrowed on the sight of their Un-Alice spread under him… Oh, how the Cat had cut through the Cards-

"Hatter!"

Blue-green eyes automatically look up at the RedKing. His laughter dying out. The gold eyes are cold; there won't be any mercy to be had today, not ever-

He rises, the bloody cape draping over his iron clad shoulder reveals the glint of silver at the RedKing's side. Hatter tenses, eyes on the slow approach, filling with anxious energy.

The RedKing stops in front of Hatter, the gold eyes looking down on the disheveled figure before him.

"What to do, what to do…"

 _"Off with their heads!"_ echoes in the RedKing's mind.

 

**Ω**


	5. Part V

**Ω**

_"Cat…" Arýza murmurs softly, eyes downcast. She plucks at the blades of grass near his thigh, follows the glint of light from the buckles on his pants._

_"Nine lives to your one. There's still time." Cat responds as he lays back on the grass. His hand caresses her arm, a lock of inky hair falling over her shoulder and Arýza lies beside him. Silver –green eyes turn up to Cat, with him she fears nothing…_

_"I don't want to wait anymore."_

_His grin flashes quick, white and feral. She trusts him completely._

_He moves lightning fast, pounces on her with such ease and Arýza lies on her back in the grassy knoll overlooking the stream with him staring down at her. She laughs and Cat's smirk slowly fades. His mouth is soft, a gentle pressure on hers. Arýza's lips part, inviting and Cat has no hesitation. His tongue meets hers, gathers her in his arms and rolls them over. Arýza half sits, she smiles at him- giggles nervously and isn't quick enough to hide it. Cat's grin returns but he doesn't say anything, no teasing and he rarely allows the opportunities pass. He pushes her back until they are both sitting, Arýza straddling him and all the while Cat's working the buttons of her jumper loose. Arýza hesitantly plucks at his shirt, unsure of how she is supposed to get it off. Cat tugs the dark grey cotton over his head and tosses it._

_"Easy enough." He shrugs._

_She blinks, feels the quick brush of his lips on hers at his words before he's leaving a trail down her neck and shoulder. Arýza gasps softly, feels Cat slide the material down her arms and back. Small hands hesitantly rest on his bare shoulders, fingers lightly tracing the shimmering marks-they've always been there, black tattoos and normal- like a leopards spots…_

_Cat runs his hands firmly up her sides and back, tongue laving at her breasts. His teeth are sharp and Arýza tenses at the feel of them on her skin, moans with the pleasure of it. Cat feels her hands in his hair, tugging, pulling in tandem with his mouth. His hands roam down her hips, slip under the blue silk bunched at her waist and glide around to cup the smooth skin of her cheeks._

_Arýza rises to her knees above him, eyes wide at the sight of his mouth on her breast but Cat holds her in place. With breath held Arýza revels in the sensations coursing through her body. Cat fondles her, his hands relentlessly roaming her body, always circling back to squeeze her cheeks. Each pass is lower, closer to where she can feel a burning need for his touch and Arýza squirms. She wants more, bites her lip, not knowing how to ask._

_It's the first touch of his hand gliding over her thighs and delving between her legs that makes Arýza cry out. She grips his shoulders tightly, presses her cheek to his temple, breath hot and raspy in his ear. Cat doesn't stop, his fingers slide back and forth between her parted lips, his touch finds her wet and ready. She's still kneeling over his lap, swaying to match his pulsing rhythm and he smiles at the needy sounds she's making. He pulls back enough to kiss her as he pushes a finger deep within, rainbow eyes on the girl in his arms._

_Arýza moans, eyes wide- she feels_ alive. _More alive than she ever thought possible._

_Cat grins, well pleased. He slides another finger inside and moves them in an out of her at an ever increasing pace, his mouth still nipping and teasing her hardened nipples. Arýza rocks with his hand, a natural rhythm and it's no surprise. He knows Arýza better than she knows herself._

_"Cat!" she's surprised by the tremors that flow through her, the intensity of her desire for him, for what he's doing to her. She arches her back and thrusts her hips onto his fingers, nails digging into the flesh of his shoulders._

_Cat nods his approval, stares into her silver-green eyes and withdraws his hand from between her legs, smiles at the small whimper she lets escape._

_"Time enough, Arýza." Cat breathes past her ear offering her one more chance to change her mind as he lays her back on the grass._

_In answer Arýza draws his face to hers, mouth hungrily seeking his and their tongues meet, twisting around one another in a dance of anticipation._

_The rest of their clothes are discarded quickly, Cat's knives thunk into the soft ground beside them where he throws the arsenal stashed all over his person. His lips crush hers, his hands traveling the length of her curves and she responds in kind, small hands seeking every hard plane of his chest, back and shoulders. She feels the nudge of his knee and hesitates just a second before she opens for him._

_Arýza is slightly alarmed, doesn't expect to feel him so close and it's different. There are no barriers between them and that's exciting, intoxicating even with the feel of his skin touching hers…_

_Cat presses forward, his hands gripping her hips, his weight resting on her as he looks down…_

_"This will hurt." He waits a moment, hovering just outside her heat, watches for her slight nod before pushing into Arýza slowly. He can feel and see the instant she is in pain and gently withdraws. Their eyes meet and Arýza slowly lets out her pent up breath, feels Cat push into her again… Her soft cry is cut short; she bites her lips against the sharp sting as he fully rests inside her._

_Cat feels the sting of her nails, small hands clutching his shoulders, feels her shudder and the tentative caress of her legs glide up his sides. He gives her a moment, his breath fans over her cheek._

_She draws in a breath as Cat begins to move inside her, feels the discomfort start to fade. A new sensation takes over and gradually builds, one of indescribable pleasure, and all around the brilliance of Underland fades while Arýza is soon lost to the rainbow of his eyes, the feel of him thrusting inside her, the gleaming beads of sweat beginning to form on the rippling muscles of his chest as he moves above her. She arches upwards, crying out in her bliss, wanting more of him and wanting to give him every piece of herself in return. Every thread and every fiber of her being is offered as her hips rise to meet his, hands fisting in the grass beneath her._

_Cat is thrilled with her response, delighted to finally have his Arýza in this way, the most intimate of ways. Her pleading cries entice him to move harder, faster and his fingers dig into her thighs as he rocks back and forth, his movements graceful and feral. He wants to please her, to feel her quivering release around him while she cries out his name, to mark her as his._

_Her voice echoes through the trees, 'Cat' on her lips between soft moans of "please, please," and "oh, oh."_

_"Arýza," he whispers back, partly growls in her ear and closes his rainbow eyes to drink in the pleasure coursing through him, the heat pooling in his abdomen, threatening to break free. At the sound of her name she tightens, clenches around him and heaves upwards, crying out as she releases. He lets out a soft groan that almost sounds like a purr, pumps a few more times and presses down onto her, pushing all the way in, spilling himself inside his Arýza._

**Ω**

He stands on the balcony of his throne room, gold eyes surveying all of Underland. Below, another troop of CardGuards is marching out of HeartCastle. The RedKing wants her dead- she is a threat, they both are and he can't have that. After all this time, years of idling in Underland, doing as he has pleased, ruling… A mere slip of a girl will not be his undoing and to that end Hatter has suffered his punishment.

The echo of a scream floats on a cool breeze. The RedKing smiles and his features are beautiful, dark hair shoulder length with a slight wave and the copper glints from the fading sun. His armor glints dully beside the ornate throne- it will soon be in use and the RedKing finds himself anticipating their death match.

"This time it's going to be different." He speaks to an empty room, stares at the darkening sky and nods. Every time… each one of the Un-Alice's bested him- each one took back Underland and left. They all left and he rose once more but not this time- they've lost it.

"Underland is mine."

It isn't the only thing that will be his once this Un-Alice is dispatched.

**Ω**

Arýza scoots back- she needs to put space between herself and Cat.

He can see her shaking her head and doesn't move even when she stands.

"You... I was-we…That was _real_." She can see Cheshire knows exactly what she means and drags in a deep breath. "Oh…" her eyes close but that only makes the memory more vivid. The sight of him... muscles rippling in the sunlight, that quick feral grin… She spent three years dreaming of Underland with Cheshire and Hatter but only Cat ever had Arýza's heart.

"I've always been with you, Arýza." He is standing when she looks at him, those silver-green eyes shimmering with tears again and he wants to stop them from falling, erase her pain… "Out there."

Arýza knows it's true; she thinks of her blue cat- the only friend she had the whole time she was running. There was always food after he left, or something for her to keep warm with. Arýza had always felt safe when Cat was around…

"Why?"

He's at her side instantly, moves silent as a shadow and his touch is light, the tips of his fingers grazing the smooth skin of her cheek.

"I couldn't show you. I don't belong out there, Rýza." He shakes his head and the fading sun glints on the silver hoop in his left ear.

"But-."

"No." he stops her questions with a finger pressed to her lips. "Right now you have somewhere I need to take you. You have an important task ahead, Rýza. One I know you can do."

He knows her better than she knows herself, always did.

"What? Where are we going in… _this._ " she looks around, at the warped trees and dead leaves. Nothing resembles that bright, beautiful dream that had been _their_ Underland.

"To HeartCastle." He points to the left; Arýza sees nothing but more dead trees and bushes and frowns at him, just a little exasperated. She wonders if this isn't just another dream of hers. It's a faint hope but that's all she has at this point. Her emotions are out of control, she goes from one extreme to the other and the one thing Arýza is certain of is how exhausted she feels.

"You're going to kill the RedKing."

At those words Arýza's heart stills. She recoils as though burned and Cat grabs her wrist. She wants to run, distance herself and her only thought is of the knife- how it felt as it slid into his body. She has that image burned in her brain, the _feel_ of it- of killing- no. She shakes her head adamantly.

He knows what she is thinking of, can see fear in her eyes and her rising panic. She tugs on her wrist but Cat is not going to let her run. The time for that is past.

"No! What? No, I'm-no… I want to wake up. Right now! Wake me up!" she pounds her small fist on Cat's chest to make her point but he doesn't let go. "Wake me up, Cheshire."

"You're not dreaming."

That easy, Arýza deflates. Three words that fill her with dread and a desire to turn tail and run. It's what she has always done, from the moment she saw the man that wasn't a man at all. Running has saved her life more than once because fighting only ever got her hurt. She has the scar on her shoulder to remind her of it, the sight of the hellhounds- what they are capable of doing. Everything that's ever happened, all of it… she wonders if it was all for this, to get her to Underland, to kill the RedKing. And why?

"What does any of it mean?" Arýza sobs, head dropping onto Cat's chest as she cries. She trembles in his arms, tired and just wishing it would all end. "What did any of it mean?"

Was there a purpose to their deaths? She needs to know, to _understand_ why all of this is happening and Cat is left to fill in the blanks. He shows her the others, the girls before her; Alice, Alma, Ally… so many of them and they were all so brave to stand before the RedKing.

"You'll bring Underland back to what it was." Cat takes her face in his hands and makes her look at him. She seems so delicate, easily broken… he can see she believes she is weak and the grip she has on his shirt-the same as a drowning man clinging to a life vest.

**Ω**

"Do you think she will succeed?"

Castiel knows why she asks. They are not certain of the outcome and each day they lose another seal, they have lost so many… Angels killing angels and all for what? To bring about the Apocalypse and why? Because they are tired of waiting around? Because God is nowhere to be found?

"She has guidance." Castiel wishes the angels had some as well.

"Is it enough?" Anna turns to Castiel, her eyes search out his but he refuses to look at her. She huffs in annoyance and glares at him. "Dean can't control Sam and each day he-."

"Dean will do what is necessary." The bright blue eyes turn frosty. He doesn't know that for certain but like everyone else Cas hopes so.

"You know what's at risk, Castiel." Just like Anna does and she paces the length of the narrow path overlooking the canyon. "It would be best to eliminate the problem. From the source." She looks at Castiel, thinks he would agree with her and finds him standing only a breath away from her.

"The Winchesters are not to be harmed." It's an order, Castiel's tone brooks no argument and after a tense moment Anna bows her head in acquiescence. Inwardly she considers the possibilities. If Sam was never born… or Dean…

**Ω**

The silence in the Impala has lasted since they left Bobby's over four hours ago. Sam knows his brother isn't up to another hunt and saving this seal is more than that.

"I know you'd rather be looking for ways to help Arýza."

Dean still won't speak though he spares his brother a brief glance out of the corner of his eyes. Cas isn't saying anything useful, not anything that's going to help him get to Arýza or bring her back from Wonderland only Cas said that's not where she is and yet they all saw her disappear into the mirror. So where the hell did she go?

"Dean."

It's not the first time Sam has tried to get answers from his brother and Dean is going the way of Cas; not one word.

"No. Alright." He glares at Sam. "I don't care what the fucking report says. She's not an arsonist, hell she isn't even violent or have you forgotten how much she hated watching us spar let alone the times she ran away when I tried to teach her even the-."

"We don't know her, Dean." She's as much a stranger to them as anyone they've helped no matter how much time she has spent in their company. Not once was Sam able to get more than a few words out of her in regards to her past and why she was in the mausoleum. "What we have is a bunch of files on girls all suffering from nightmares, hallucinations and they end up becoming violent. They all had to be institutionalized." Sam also knows Arýza was questioned, the police thought she was to blame but by the time anyone got around to arresting her… she was gone. Off the grid and hiding in the streets, just another runaway kid. As far as Sam or Dean knew, Arýza had already followed the same pattern as the other girls in her family.

"She's not the only one." Dean knows the dig is just a little below the belt. He's defending Arýza and condemning his own brother, Sam whom he's done everything for since they were kids. Sam whom he’s watched over, protected and cared for… and it was Sam choosing to believe and listen to and follow a demon. The same thing that killed their Mom, just another black smoke bitch like the one that took their Dad, a demon like the one cutting and slicing into Dean while he screamed for help downstairs… yeah, that's what Sam was picking over his own flesh and blood.

"Dean-."

He knows her. Deep down there's something that draws Dean to her, from the first moment he laid eyes on Arýza in that mausoleum. He feels it even more now, stronger than anything that’s scared him off before from that apple pie life he's craved. But its not what this will be, with Arýza there is no happily ever after because Dean has none to give her.

"No. I'm done. I'm not talking about- _it_. Not anymore." And that's it, that’s the end of it. That's all Dean is going to say about Sam and his demon bitch and the blood and how _freaking wrong_ it's all turning out.

_'What the hell did I sell my soul for?'_

**Ω**

"All you have to do-."

"Is kill him, yeah I heard you are you listening to _me_?" Arýza demands. She shoves against Cat, pushes him away and he lands on his butt, those rainbow eyes narrowed and teeth bared with just a little bit of a growl.

"I get it. I'm a fucking hypocrite to say 'No' when I already killed you." She draws a deep breath and closes her eyes and what she's just said…those words, they can't have come from her.

"When he's dead you won't have to run." Cat rolls to his knees.

"No." Arýza looks anywhere but at him and plucks at the grass.

"You won't have to hide, nothing to fear-." He starts inching towards her.

"No, Cat."

"You will be safe-."

"NO!" Arýza gets to her feet, moves away and begins to pace. "I'm not killing anyone. I'm not! I ju- I can't, I can't!"

"Then Underland will perish, the RedKing wins." Cat comes up behind her softly and she turns right into him. "You're just afraid."

"Yeah, and I don't see any reason not to be." She doesn't want him near, she doesn't want to feel his hands on her and the warmth from him- not when he's asking her to kill. "This isn't how it's supposed to be." It's not how she remembers Underland.

Castiel is silent as he watches them. His presence draws Cheshire's attention and the rainbow eyes lock on the angel. His sudden tenseness draws Arýza's attention to the tan trench coat and the familiar face.

"Cas!" she thinks he's come for her, to take her home- away from this madness because that's what it has become. Wonderland was a story; it was fiction- something made up by a kooky old man and nothing to do with her or her family no matter what her Mom said. She won't even consider there is any relation between her and the Alice of Wonderland in the books.

"You shouldn't be here." Cat moves behind Arýza, his fingers threading through the inky locks. It's a comfort to him when he's been forced to hide himself from her.

Castiel is well aware of the rules and he has no intention of interfering. All he wants is to see Arýza, to _know_ for certain she is in good hands as he has promised Dean.

"Wait!" Arýza is across the short distance quickly, the small hands gripping the trench coat tightly, afraid that he will leave. She looks up at her angel, he's partly to blame for where she finds herself but in the end it was her choice. She wanted to help them, to end their suffering only her family has never been in Underland. "Wait, you can't leave me here. Please?"

Castiel's brow furrows. Her voice breaks on the last word, so soft and she wipes at her tears in vain trying not to look over her shoulder at Cat. There's just a little guilt for wanting to leave him but she's telling herself Underland isn't real.

"You made a choice." Cas' blue eyes are soft, compassionate. He touches her cheek lightly and Arýza finds no comfort.

She thought to help her family by entering the mirror, to end their suffering but they are dead and gone, and nothing she does will change that.

"Please, don't leave me here."

Cat stands tall, watches the angel observe Arýza and his teeth show. It's just a soft hiss of displeasure because he doesn't like how Castiel can brush her off so easily. They know what she is to do, why and the least the angel can do is comfort her.

"You must defeat the RedKing."

She recoils, takes a step back and her hands don't hold to him so tightly. He's repeating Cat's words to her-both of them asking her to kill. No, they _tell_ her.

"You must do this. You can change things here, in Underland. Your actions affect the world outside, Arýza." He wants to tell her more but he's done too much already. He knows the others, his brothers will not be happy and so far none of them realize where Arýza comes from or do not care. They will see nothing but a frightened girl, unable to do what is needed and Castiel isn't so sure of success either.

Arýza looks behind her to Cat and then to Castiel. She lets go of the angel and stands between them, eyes on the grass. Nothing she says will make Cas take her back to Dean and Sam and the world she belongs to. There's no way there except by doing what they ask of her.

Cheshire and Castiel share a look, an entire conversation passes between the two and there's an understanding. They have both done their parts to keep her out of danger, away from the RedKing’s Hearts, to hide her from both worlds until the time came she had to return, to do her part. This girl…unaware of her true destiny, silent tears on her cheeks and the weight of both worlds on her shoulders- a burden none should bear and yet it’s been hers from birth.

The angel is gone just as quickly as he appeared. With him, also, the last hope Arýza had of going back to Dean and Sam and Bobby and a world that she understands.

"This _is not_ happening." Arýza whispers. She doesn't hear Cat's approach but when he reaches out to brush her tears away she smacks his hand. " _You_ can't be real! You aren't!" she wants badly to deny it; just pretend it's all another dream…

"You know the truth." He draws her into his arms, hand on her cheek.

"I'm not her." She can't do what they want of her and if she doesn't…

Cat allows her a moment to cry, feels her small hands curl around his waist and just stands there, fingers lightly combing through her hair.

All around, Underland is nothing like she remembers. He wanted badly to show it to her, the same world he shared in her dreams- she had loved it there, found it all so amazing…

"This is what Underland has become since the RedKing took over." He speaks to the top of her head, eyes closed on the twisted version the RedKing has created. "The Underland in your dreams…that was real. What it was before him. It can be so again."

"I have to kill him for it." silvery-green eyes look up and find the rainbow gaze steady and unwavering.

"Stop hiding who you are." Cat orders. "It's time to stand and fight. There's nowhere to run anymore."

Arýza recognizes that tone. She remembers _everything._

 

**Ω**


	6. Part VI

**Ω**

Bobby sits in his empty house, guts churning with nerves. He works as best he can; answering the endless calls for information- he needs to keep busy what with the shit that’s gone down lately. He's got no explanation for the screw up in the panic room. No reason it should have opened for him and really, neither of them thought the boy was in any condition to bust himself out … Sam is gone. That boy…

There's a bottle of scotch on the table and the glass is half empty now.

Sam has been different- all those months on his own after Dean went to hell. And Bobby feels guilty. It’s not his fault- hell, either of them, Dean or Sam, couldn’t be found if they didn’t want to be found. But Bobby knows he should’ve done more to stay in touch with Sam … maybe it wouldn’t have made a difference … maybe that demon whore would’ve sunk her claws into Sam anyway … but what if…?

Aint that the fucking twist?

That demon… the blood addiction and using- those are the facts now, the reality they're working on _now_. Bobby just doesn't know how to help them; those boys he's seen grow into the men they've become. And he thinks, _‘If John where here to see them now…’_ But what's the point when the likely scenario-anyway its starts- ends the same. With John tearing the boys a new one and really … Bobby’s got some part of that too.

Bobby never wanted children and right now…well, right now he's bashing himself for not being good enough even as a stand in considering this mess.

He waits for Dean to call, to say he's found Sam and hopes to God it's all worked out, to some extent at least.

Is it as hopeless as Bobby thinks?

He just can't see it. Where did it all get so off the rails?

**Ω**

It's a chessboard.

White pieces stand tall- huge marble statues of pawns, knights, rooks… its all there. Each with such careful detail and Cheshire grins wide.

"This is way weird." To fight a war on a chessboard but then she thinks of all the lives that would be spared if the dumb nuts in government would think of something similar to avoid spending obscene amounts of cash on bombs and guns and tanks and all those other' toys' they just had to have in order to blow up the other guys. At least the Romans had it right, sort of though this government wasn't going to get in the arena and fight to the death just to spare the dumb kids enlisting in the armed forces. Each of them ready to die for a president that couldn't give a shit about anything other than money.

"The same rules apply. One move per piece at a time." It's the ump-teenth reminder and standing this close to the board Cheshire can see her hesitation.

"You know how to play, Arýza." She's proven that much to him with the games he's lost to her. "This isn't the first time the Un-Alice has come."

All the others, the girls before Arýza; each one has come up before the RedKing and more times than not they've killed the monster twisting their home to his image.

"Great," Arýza breathes, silver-green eyes skipping over the huge chessboard. "Then I can go home…" she tries weakly and sees no answering grin in return to her words.  "Ok, I can do this. Check-mate, that's all."

It's a chessboard, all the pieces are there so…

"Kill him, Arýza." Cat's hand cups her cheek and the rainbow eyes stare into hers. "This isn't a game."

Her breath catches and for a moment she feels the desperate need to turn and run. Flight or fight only this time she has to stay and fight.

_'Do this and I go home. Everything is ok- back to how it's supposed to be.'_

At least in Underland.

The ground trembles and thunder sounds. Arýza looks to the clear sky and absently wonders at how the sun shines brightly on such a day when death is certain.

Cheshire finds the HeartGuards marching towards them, a dozen bleeding hearts and at their head is Knave.

"That," Arýza slowly shakes her head, feels her hands numb and just knows this won't be easy. "That is _so_ not good. Right?" she looks to Cat and sees the bared fangs and hears the growl. His hair is puffed up and funny as that might seem Arýza doesn't feel like laughing. "Cat."

Cheshire takes a blade from his back and hands it to Arýza. She is surprised, emits a soft squeak of alarm that draws Cat's attention for a second and she blushes, embarrassed.

"Take their heads." It's the only warning he gives as the HeartGuards close in and form a wall barring them from the chessboard.

**Ω**

He's tempted.

For a second he thinks; ' _Why not?'_

Before he realizes, there's a cheeseburger in his hand.

That easy.

And its only food.

How much harder has it been for Sam?

Dean drops the greasy heart attack and turns away.

The room he's being ‘asked’ to wait in while the world goes to shit and his little brother is out there … it’s a fancy room. All white and gold with heavy furniture… what the hell do they think he is? It’s not comfortable at all and they could’ve saved themselves the trouble. How hard was it to put him in a bar, some pool tables and a cold beer…

Dean snorts derisively at the thought of everything the angels are doing to jump start the apocalypse. And somehow, no matter how many times Dean tried to ignore it, it’s just…it _always_ comes back to Sam.

Sam's 'ordeal' and here Dean snorts because really? An ordeal? Dean was in _HELL_. Thirty years of torture, of being cut to ribbons day after day after day after _endless fucking day_ \- thirty years. 10957 days before Dean couldn't take it anymore, before he couldn't stand the thought of more pain, before he got off the damn rack and took up the torturers mantle. Thirty years…

The demons got what they wanted, so yeah. Dean carries that with him, what he's done but Sam? Why can't Sam see it?

_"Right, that's right, I forgot. The angels think it's you. You can't. You're not strong enough. I'm doing what needs to be done. You don't know me. You never did. And you never will."_

His words. Sam's...

No one could come back from Hell and just go about their daily routine just like before, like nothing was different. It's _Hell._

Dean can still feel it, that stain- the black mark on his soul he can never erase or ignore. It’s there…

He drinks because it numbs the pain, and drinks some more to find oblivion, just so he doesn't have to hear their screams and the crying, always begging him to stop, for mercy, not to cut them anymore… Most days it still feels like Hell.

Dean has tried so hard to fake normalcy- as much as their normal is and Sam has been lying, sneaking around with Ruby. All this time…

_'How…?'_

How can Sam choose a demon over him?

That's what hurts.

They're brothers.

Dean thought he knew Sam, better than he knows himself… Sam is the one person above all others he has always trusted, no question, no doubts.

They're all they have left…

 _Sam_ is all Dean has left of their screwed up family.

It's always about Sam.

**Ω**

"Go!"

When Arýza hesitates to leave his side Cat makes a quick swipe across with his knife and turns. He runs, grabs her wrist and pulls her along and the Cards head thumps onto the grass behind them.

She follows without choice, pushes Cat when a lance swipes at their heads and throws the blade he gave her. Cheshire spares her a grin, so far she's fought at his side and it's a start. She hasn't run away yet and he doesn't see it happening now.

They leap over the short fence bordering the chessboard. She feels the vibration a moment after her feet touch the marble.

All over the board, pieces come to life and the ground trembles violently. Cat helps Arýza keep upright and doesn't stop until he's reached their square.

She looks in amazement at the huge Pawns shaking off dust and vines, each moving a square at a time to their correct places. Both castles; tall white marble pillars flank Rooks and Knights and Arýza notices there is only one.

"Cat-." She gasps, feels the cool caress of something on her legs and finds a shimmering myst rising up to her knees. She moves to step out of the square when Cat grabs her wrist.

"Be still."

"But we're-."

"Being properly attired." His grin flashes quick as the myst shifts to shape itself over his body. He's all white from the neck down. A form fitting suit and for the first time since arriving in Underland Arýza can see Cheshire. He is a thing of beauty, blue-black hair blowing with a gentle breeze and the glint of silver from the small hoops in his ear. The hilts of various knives shine silver from his waist and torso and from the top of his boots and along the seam of his pants. His arms are bare and the black marks shimmer on his tinted skin. He moves into a crouch, ready to spring at his prey, tail twitching in anticipation, eyes focused on the red pieces settling in across the board.

They're in the Knights square.

_'We are the Knight.'_

Arýza glances at herself; the torn stockings and blue dress are gone. She isn't sorry to see them go and finds herself clothed in the same shimmer of myst. It takes longer to mold itself but when it does the suit is so light she can barely feel it on her skin. Arýza lifts a hand, fingers skimming over the sleeve and it ripples lightly much to her amazement. She tentatively touches her head, fingers tracing the pattern on the combs holding it away from her face and then draws the end of her braid over her shoulder. Both hands skim over her torso amazed by the airy feel of the suit and her pendant glints gold in the setting sun. She presses a palm over it, silvery-green eyes staring across the board.

"Kill the RedKing."

**Ω**

Why doesn't he ever listen?

Why can't he hear?

"SAM!"

The doors slam shut on the fucking smirk, the fucking self-satisfied, smug little smirk he wants to wipe off her goddamn face and no matter how fast he tries to run, Dean won't reach his brother in time.

He tries so hard, always…

"SAM!"

He grabs the statue and rams the doors. He doesn't stop yelling at his brother, keeps telling him over and over how this is what they want. Both sides, angels _and_ demons. He begs Sam not to do it, just stop and the statue breaks. There's plenty of it left to keep ramming at the doors so Dean doesn't stop.

He can't.

He has to stop Sam, has to make this right somehow.

They're brothers…

**Ω**

"You can't win!"

Arýza ducks the strike at her head, pushed back from Stayne as Cheshire slashes at his face. She stumbles on the remains of a white pawn littering the square they've claimed. The entire chessboard is littered with red and white remains and her eyes catch sight of the RedKing hacking at her Rook.

"You're in the way." Cheshire notes of the Knave and his knives leave five gashes on the armor while Arýza comes up, her lance slicing across his pale face. The Knave howls, hand on his bleeding wound while Cat and Arýza kick. The blow knocks Stayne down; he glides out of his square thanks to his armor.

They run to the next square, the red pawn still occupying it crumbles leaving nothing but rocks for Arýza and Cat to jump over. Two more squares and then they reach the RedKing.

"Check." Cat calls flashing his ever present grin and this is all kinds of fun now that Arýza has come.

"You can't kill me." The RedKing states, his laughter echoing from the horned helmet, the heavy sword striking downward and then across.

"Kill him!" Cat orders, lunges towards the tall figure but his knives only find impenetrable armor. With a kick the RedKing sends Cat rolling behind Arýza's feet. She feels the heavy blow reverberate from her lance into her arms and almost drops her weapon.

"You've come unprepared." The RedKing gloats shoving Arýza back. She stumbles but lunges towards him again, lance jabbing at his head.

"You're dead."

The RedKing laughs at her threat, easily fends off the next couple of strikes while Cat gains his feet once more.

"You don't have it, little Alice. How do you expect to win?" his sword comes down on her lance, the crack is loud and she's left with two pieces.

"Her name," Cheshire growls, knives glinting bright as he attacks. "Is Arýza!"

She follows Cat's shape, watches each attack repelled by the RedKing and the sword cuts into the white suit. Her heart beats as loud as the clang of metal and crumbling marble and Cat's suit sports too many red roses…

"Kill him, Arýza!"

She grips both pieces of her lance, each tipped with a sharp blade and she throws the first one. Arýza watches its slow path towards the red armor, the point glinting golden in the fading light before she runs forward.

The RedKing's sword deflects the flying spear and Cheshire takes the opening. His knives finally find a home, the leather just under the raised arm and the second slices lightly across the bared skin on the King's neck.

That filthy _animal_ has drawn blood. This growling beast clawing at his back and the RedKing is done toying with either of them.

Cat grapples with the RedKing, grabs at a horn and pulls just as the King bends forward. There's a screech of metal, the angry bellow from the King and Cheshire somehow manages to land on all fours instead of his back.

Arýza, spear in hand, attacks; the point aimed for the dark head.

This is the end.

_"Kill the RedKing and you can go home."_

Cheshire flings the helm aside; another set of knives in hand. The sword swings around, the blade deflects the spear and the gold eyes flash molten while the back of his hand catches Arýza.

She feels the flare of pain, blinks the fuzzy ground into focus and there's tiny clusters of red over her hand and on the square. She spits more blood on the white marble...

Cheshire leaps over Arýza, engages the King and snarls at the laughing face.

_'Sam.'_

The echo in her head is loud and she sees him again. He's there in her house, the fire dancing along the ceiling, licking up the walls… He was happy. He took her world and burned it all down and he _enjoyed_ it.

"Sam…"

How could she forget that?

"Rýza!"

How could she forget the pain?

"Rýz!"

It's his mark she bears- that faded scar on her shoulder… how could she _forget_?

The RedKing brings the spear across Cheshire's head with a satisfying thwak and repeats the motion. Finally, the animal is on all fours, as it should be and places the tip of his sword on its neck.

"You loose."

"You'll die." Cheshire promises. He sees Arýza getting up, her small hand reaching for the broken piece of her spear.

"She doesn't have the Vorpal blade. She can't kill me." The RedKing gloats. It's been lost and even _he_ cannot find it.

Arýza finds Cat on the ground, the RedKing's blade resting on his neck and the broken piece of her spear in his other hand. The rainbow eyes meet hers, for a moment it's as though her lungs have been squeezed tight and she can't get a breath. Everything happens so fast; Cat swipes a clawed hand at the RedKing and rolls out of the swords reach. She watches, held in place by some invisible hand as the RedKing throws her broken spear and the tip finds its mark.

 _"Kill him."_ He tries to tell her again, tries to get the words past his lips and finds it impossible. How many times has this happened now? Too many for Cheshire to remember and even if cats have nine lives this time it's different.

"CAT!"

The RedKing laughs, huge grin on his face while blood spreads out from the wound on Cheshire's chest. The grin is quickly wiped away as the Un-Alice slashes at his face. He brings the sword around, both clash, metal rings but she is weaker and now alone. There is no threat and there is no Vorpal blade. Underland is his and more will come once the Un-Alice is dealt with.

"DIE!" she screams it over and over but can't find an opening and behind her Cat is bleeding. "FUCKING DIE!" there's no turning back, no more running. He's taken _everything_ … Arýza screams, all her pain, the rage and fear poured into the breath flowing out of her. It doesn't stop the RedKing's blade from cutting the remains of her spear and all she has left is a stick. She throws the stub at him, lunges the short distance making his sword useless in such close quarters. Small fists pound on him, clang on his armor and through the pain she thinks of Sam.

 _Sam_ , the Sam that Dean would do anything for. The Sam she has seen day in and day out for the past five months. The Sam that has been nothing but kind and sweet to her. The Sam who's done about everything just to get her to talk because 'it's healthy' and that's just the kind of guy Sam is.

 _This_ , this thing is not that Sam… but it's the same face and the same voice and its _here_.

"You are weak." He knocks her down- as easy as swatting a fly and he likes how it feels. "You know you're not strong enough." He drops his sword to show he doesn’t need it to kill her and approaches Underland’s latest champion slowly. "You can never get rid of _me_."

Arýza can barely see the RedKing through her tears. Beside her, Cat lies with her spear through his chest. There's a pool of blood spreading out on the marble square they all share. All the chess pieces have stopped hacking at each other and the silence is loud.

"Cat?"

Cheshire feels her touch at his side; light, hesitant and for a moment he thinks the frightened girl is back.

"That animal-."

"You've taken everything!" Arýza has Cat's knives, it seems fitting. All of Underland has heard the great battle on the chessboard, they've seen the Un-Alice at Hatter's tea party and they've watched her fight for them. The chess pieces- red and white, are witness to the strange event taking place on the white square. The RedKing has Arýza, hand at her throat and feet a foot off the ground. All at once the white suit becomes smoke and she along with it. In a matter of seconds they are both gone, Arýza and Cheshire no more than myst blown away by the soft breeze.

**Ω**

Bobby gets a call from the boys. The idjits are still alive, for that he is grateful.

They failed, Lilith is dead and the last seal is broken; Lucifer has been set loose.

Bobby wipes both hands down his face tiredly.

"What else can go wrong?" he wonders out loud. The big house is silent and he doesn't feel the light tremble as the house shakes. It's the soft echo of crying that makes the hair on the back of his neck rise. Bobby jerks out of his chair, grabs his shotgun and quietly prowls through the ground floor with an ear cocked for the origin of the crying. He reaches the stairs leading to the second floor and pauses. The crying is clearer and he starts up, one foot carefully set on the stair before trying another until he is at the top. There's several doors to pick from, all of them closed and he listens at each one before moving on. The last door- the one leading to the attic is locked and he has to fish for the key. It creaks as he pulls it open and Bobby flinches but the crying hasn't stopped. He listens for a moment, still slightly apprehensive of what he's going to find up there, who ever it is cries as though they've lost it all.

_'The end of the world is here.'_

Bobby starts up the narrow staircase, slowly so his eyes have time to adjust to the dark. There's a light bulb hung in the middle of the ceiling he ignores and squints to see a path through the junk he's stashed and forgotten. With his next step the board creaks and the crying stops. Bobby curses inwardly and listens as who ever is in the dark sniffles. He can hear something moving– the scrape of metal and cocks the shotgun.

"Who's there?" he barks, scowling into the dark and finally reaches for the switch on the wall next to him for the light. The bulb sends a feeble glow into the space that pushes the shadows into the corners of the attic but the mirror the boys carefully set against some trunks reflects it onto the dark haired girl kneeling in the dusty floor.

Silvery-green eyes stare back and Bobby is surprised.

"Arýza."

The sound of his familiar voice is enough to get her started again. She cries, shoulders shaking and stares at her hands stained red and clutching the silver knives.

"I'm sorry." She says through tears as Bobby approaches her. He puts the shotgun down and pats her back while reaching for the knives. She has a streak of blood on her cheek, more in her loose hair…

"Hush," he says. "You're home now. Everything will be fine." He assures gently.

But Arýza knows nothing will ever be 'fine'.

**Ω**

_"No one understands. Not one of you, and what have I ever done?"_

_"I don't lie- I never lie because I don't have to…"_

_"…they've punished you…"_

_"Whatever you do, you will always end up here."_

_"…what you still have to do...such a burden…"_

He smiles and the gold eyes flash molten in the darkness.

"I win."

 

**Ω**


	7. Part VII

**Ω**

She stands in front of the mirror, unable to sleep while the RedKing's taunting echo haunts her. She wakes _needing_ to find Cat but she is no longer in Underland…

_"You will always end up here, always."_

The phantom touch of his hand, the metal gauntlet on her throat – she has the bruises to remind her of this failure.

_'I let them down.'_

She can't explain it- not to herself and least to Bobby. He's questioned her, asked where she's been, what's happened... Arýza isn't sure herself. She was in Underland…

He found her in his attic, crying and bloody… Nothing she said made much sense so he doesn't ask anything else. He gives her an old shirt, some faded blue flannel… and that's all he has.

Arýza stands barefoot before the mirror, wondering…waiting… There are bruises on her neck, on her hands and arms, cuts on her knuckles. Bobby has no idea what to think, what to tell the boys… so he's said nothing at all about her return.

_"I win."_

Underland is lost.

The RedKing wins.

"I failed…"

Her eyes burn with tears once more and Arýza wonders if she will ever stop. She blames herself; for Cat, for Hatter, for all of them. They're all dead and what has it been for?

_"You are weak. You couldn't kill me, and so… I win. I will always win."_

The mirror blurs, the girl reflected there is once again in the blue dress and she cries.

He stalks towards her and looks satisfied with himself. She can hear the rustling of leaves but there aren't any and on the edges of the mirror she finds dozens of small porcelain doll heads. They are grotesque things on spindly legs that tap and scratch at the glass and Arýza takes a step back.

_"Are you afraid?"_

They precede him, the nightmare spiders climbing over each other trying to get through the mirror.

_"Are you going to run again?"_

He laughs at her, both hands pressed on the glass as he leans there and Arýza wants to turn and run, she wants to so badly…

"You're not real." It's half a hoarse whisper and full of uncertainty so the RedKing laughs. He throws his head back and laughs because he's right and they both know it.

_"And the animal actually thought you could."_

Kill the RedKing.

It wasn't just Cat who thought she could, that believed… Castiel, there are angels betting on her too.

_"What does a spider do when it gets angry? Do you know?"_

The porcelain head pops through. It makes no sound aside from the dry rustle of its many legs and it's followed by a second and then a third.

_"It goes up the wall…"_

**Ω**

Bobby heads up the stairs after finding the attic door open. The girl wasn't in her room but he's almost positive he'll find her with the mirror. What he doesn't expect is to see her holding both knives, the same ones he took from her the night before and thought to have hidden well. Apparently his hiding place wasn't good enough. He takes a cautious step into the attic, slowly approaching her. She's barefoot, wearing only the flannel shirt he gave her because her clothes were ruined. He can see her reflection in the mirror though it's difficult to make out in the dark.

"Arýza…" he doesn't want to startle her, not when she has the knives in hand. She moves, hand sliding up her arm with the shiny blade and Bobby can see they aren't clean. "What are you doing?"

There's blood on her hands, blood on her legs as well and on the floor- more dark stains and he wonders just how much blood she's lost.

Arýza can't look away from the mirror, from the RedKing and his nightmares spiders- all those little porcelain heads and empty eyes staring _at her._ Behind them, Underland is dark and twisted. Underland Woods is just another dark shadow of warped trees- everything is dead.

_"You can't run from me. I will find you."_

He stalks her, he's always sent them in his stead but right now it's the RedKing reaching for her. It's the RedKing…

Bobby ducks the swipe at his head. He is surprised by the attack and it's quickly followed by a second. She doesn't say anything, makes no sound and Bobby has to defend himself. He doesn't understand but his mind automatically brings up bits and pieces of the files on the girls in her family. Each of them ended up institutionalized….

Violent girls, each one…

**Ω**

_It takes two CardGuards to shackle Hatter. They march him down the length of hall to the RedKing who sits on his throne in full armor. The blue-green eyes survey the large room only to stop on the gilded mirror._

_Arýza stands silent- frozen in place by the sight of him, the Mad Hatter…_

_"You failed, Hatter."_

_They both hear the RedKing but Hatter pays him no mind._

_"You had a simple task."_

_The blue of Hatter's eyes quickly fades as the green becomes more vivid and the color swirls._

_"You can thank her for this."_

_The RedKing glances towards the mirror, smug and extremely pleased, the gold eyes sparkle._

_"Off with his head."_

_"Hatter." Arýza reaches out, no matter what the damage they were all friends at one time and Hatter is all that's left of the Underland she remembers. "Please don't!"_

_The CardGuards step aside and Stayne takes position beside Hatter._

_"Hatter!"_

_He doesn't look anywhere but at her and Arýza feels the weight of his gaze. She pounds on the invisible barrier unable to get back, unable to do anything for him, for Underland…_

_"He's the last of them, Arýza." The RedKing rises, armor clinking with each step he takes towards the mirror. "I'm going to kill them_ **all** _."_

_Stayne draws his sword, reaches back…_

**Ω**

The sight of Bobby's house is a welcome relief to Dean who hasn't been able to speak to Sam. He's done his best to sound normal, not to lay into the dumb ass and yell and scream and blame him for the fuck up because hadn't Dean told him this would happen? Hadn't Dean warned Sam about the demon bitch time and time and time again? And what does Sam go and do? What does Sam _choose_ to do?

_'Lucifer is free. The Devil walks on earth.'_

They pull up on the gravel drive and climb out of the Impala. It took them a day off course to pick her up but Dean wasn't about to leave his girl behind. His fingers trail along the hood as he walks towards the stairs, remembering the day John handed him the keys.

The Impala has always been his.

Bobby greets them both with hugs, a bit strange but neither brother comments on the unusual hello. They take it in stride and head into the living room where Bobby has a bunch of books spread out, obviously working on finding some answers as well as solutions to this mess.

"Anything?" Dean wastes no time in getting to the point, they don't have any to spare and it seems as though there never is.

"Some." Bobby concedes and turns to his books. His mind is on the girl lying unconscious in his panic room and the fact the Winchesters aren't aware Arýza has returned. He rubs the back of his neck wondering how to broach the subject- how to tell them the girl is dangerous. He can't understand- she _attacked_ him. In his own house for Christ' sake and with the knives he thought to have hidden away from her. Bobby glances at the box in the corner where he's put the porcelain heads- cracked and stained with blood-

"What?" Dean eyes Bobby knowing there's something bothering the old hunter and can't help but glance at his brother out of the corner of his eyes. Sam looks all kinds of guilty and no amount of 'I'm sorry' is going to make things right. Dean wonders yet again how he's ever going to trust Sammy. How did they get back to where they were before this whole selling my soul-going to hell-protect the seals-I'm doing what you can't krap all started.

"I uh…" Bobby glances from Dean to Sam and back. "I found Arýza."

For a moment there's dead silence as the words slowly sink in.

"She was up in the attic, found her kneeling by the mirror-."

"Where is she?" Dean is coiled, ready to spring and only needs a direction though his eyes shoot to the stairs leading to the second floor.

"Hold on a second." Bobby growls scowling.

"When did she- uh, when?" Sam draws in a short breath, avoids looking at his brother but Dean is too focused on _where_.

"Two days ago." Bobby answers. "Just after Dean called me."

That's enough to dampen Dean's focus on Arýza and glance at Sam. They both have the same thought, coincidence? It isn't likely, not when it's about the Winchesters and there's just one more thing to add, one more tie between the mirror, Arýza and the brothers.

Two days ago Sam broke the last seal. Two days ago Sam released Lucifer from his cage.

"That aint al-." Bobby is cut off by the scream. All three hunters stiffen though Bobby's the only one staring at his basement door.

"What the hell did you do, Bobby?"

"Me?" he follows Dean, indignant at the accusation in the green eyes as they head down stairs. "I aint hurting the girl." He mutters under his breath she wasn't as considerate to him which gets Sam's attention.

Sam grabs his brothers arm, stops him from opening the heavy door. "Just wait."

Dean glares but takes a breath and looks through the metal grate Sam opens. He doesn't like what he finds inside, doesn't like the sight of the small ball of flannel curled up on the cold floor beside the cot. Even from there he can see she's trembling.

"The girl tried to stab me, Dean." Bobby doesn't flinch from the narrowed green eyes. "Unprovoked, boy. I'm thinking maybe those files I got are right about her."

"No." Dean can't believe he's defending her _again_. "There's a reason, alright. She isn't violent." The force of his words brooks no argument; he won't stand there and listen to them when _he knows_ –

_'I thought I knew Sam.'_

Dean glares at the metal door.

How many times is he willing to be wrong?

Green eyes never leave the trembling figure.

He opens it, iron scraping loud to announce their presence.

_'She isn't Sam. She's not.'_

**Ω**

"Hatter!"

Arýza wakes with a start. Nothing makes sense and she curls up on the ground; the echo of Hatter's voice, yelling her name in accusation- he blames her, they all do and why not? She's failed to save any of them and all of Underland is gone. There's nothing left- _she_ has nothing left…

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry…" her sobs echo in the small room. She hides in the curve of her arms, small hands clutching at her hair and that small pain doesn't even register. There's only the echoing laughter of the RedKing and Stayne's blade as it cuts through the last of her Underland companions. "It's all gone… all of it…dead, all dead…"

The screech of metal is loud. She looks up immediately, breath caught in her lungs at the sight of him.

"Cat." It's a soft whisper and she's half up, reaching out for him when the RedKing is standing at the door.

Behind Cat.

"NO!"

They don't see what she sees. They look at her confused and Dean hurries the rest of the way in ignoring Sam's warning though he can't block out his brothers voice telling him of the other girls, the violent ones put in little white rooms and given blue pills along with shock therapy.

"You killed him!" Arýza kicks and misses her mark because of Dean.

Sam pauses, hazel eyes wide at the accusation and Dean grabs her, keeps her from hitting Sam.

"Rýza, Rýza, shhh. You're safe now, Rýza." He tries his best to calm her but she doesn't stop struggling, trying to get at Sam.

"It's _him!_ We have to kill him. _I have to!_ "

Bobby stands back observing the scene before him because this is not the girl he remembers. It’s not even the girl he found in his attic and then she hits _Dean_.

"Son of a-!" Dean loses his grip on her though he's quick to reach for her again.

Arýza ducks his grabbing hands and Sam doesn't expect her to _punch_ him, but it hurts. She doesn't let up, doesn't stop with the kicks or punches and Sam has enough of trying to fend her off without hurting her. He grabs her wrist and gets a foot in return and his knee throbs painfully.

Sam has _enough_. He doesn’t try to stop himself from reacting and even his brothers voice sounds far off. He hits her twice.

"Sam!" Dean is more than pissed, he's upset with both of them, he just doesn't understand what the hell is wrong with either of them. "No- Arýza!" he grabs her arm and yanks her away from Sam. There's blood on her lip, and her cheek is bright pink from Sam's hand and _fuck!_  She can hit. Hard. Of course she kicks him as well. Because Arýza won't let the RedKing win again, she can't let him get away and if-no, _when_ she kills him then it will all be ok. Underland and Hatter and Cat …

Bobby steps in; he isn't looking forward to hitting the girl again but there's nothing else he can think of when she's hurting both boys and they aren't defending themselves against her.

Arýza doesn't wait for any of them, she's got an elbow in Bobby's gut and the old guy is gasping for breath but all she sees is one more obstacle, one more trying to stop her from getting to the RedKing. She doesn't understand why Cat is trying to stop her as well but she's glad he isn't dead.

_"I'm going to kill all of them. Every last one…"_

He's promised and Arýza knows he means to kill both brothers.

"Not if I kill you first." Arýza takes the knife from Bobby; it flies straight towards the red figure and thunks into a brown chest. She blinks, draws in shallow breaths and takes a tentative step towards them.

Castiel pulls the knife from his chest and drops it on the ground. The metal echoes, their harsh breaths loud in the small space. He looks at Arýza and knows immediately there is something wrong with her.

"You… told me- you said I had to." She doesn't understand why he's protecting the RedKing. It's all a big mess and they can hear the confused accusation in her tone as she speaks to the angel. The slight tremble in her voice and the tears shining in her eyes…

Castiel closes the distance between them, fingers lightly pressed on her forehead. He makes sure not to let her fall and gently lays her in the cot.

**Ω**

It's warm there. Where ever she is and Arýza turns slowly to take it all in. This isn't any place she can remember visiting…

_"Arýza."_

She turns back and finds Castiel standing a few paces away, the bright blue eyes resting on her. It’s the same expression though just a bit disapproving.

 _"Where is this?"_ she looks around again, closes her eyes and turns her face up to the sunny sky. The flutter of her sundress just another light caress and Cas looks around once, the tall grass is bent slightly in the breeze and further off he can hear the gurgling stream.

When Arýza opens her eyes they are standing on an old porch overlooking a stream bordered by a few trees.

 _"He liked it here."_ Cas turns to Arýza but she knows he means Dean. A soft smile grazes her lips and she looks to the cabin, curious about this place Dean had once been to. She grabs at the soft white skirt and heads for the door. A barefoot hesitates on the sill and she stops just inside the cabin, looks over her shoulder to Cas, almost asking for his permission to enter.

 _"They aren't safe are they?"_ she doesn't expect a denial, she just _knows_.

_"You've done your best-."_

_"It wasn't good enough. They're all dead, Cas._ He _killed them- he killed Cat and Hatter… He said I didn't have it."_ It's a question and for just a second she sees the angel hesitate.

Castiel turns back to the stream, it's where they both stand and Arýza frowns. The quick change in scenery doesn’t faze her, more and more she's become used to the unexpected changes and differences. All of it so familiar…

_"The weapon you need to kill him. It was lost."_

_"Was?"_ Arýza doesn't miss the implied meaning of what he says. _"I need it."_ And if he has it then he should hand it over. _"Send me back with it. I'll finish this; I'll kill the RedKing, Cas. I_ have _to do this.”_

For Cat. She feels the weight of his death like a mountain pressing on her-suffocating-

_"No."_

One word, so simple and it feels as though the angel has ripped out her insides.

_No._

She doesn't understand. He _told_ her to kill him, said she couldn't leave and yet now she is unable to return to Underland and finish the task.

_"No? But- You said I had to! You told me- you and Cat! I don't… I don't understand."_

Cas pries her fingers from his arm very gently and sits with her on the bench beneath the willow. Dean used to lie under the drooping branches and watch the flicker of sunlight dance through the leaves.

_"It's done."_

Sam broke the last seal. Even with the RedKing dead nothing would change now.

_"What's done?"_

Arýza can barely decipher the expression on the angels face.

 _"We have other concerns now."_ Cas says in a tired voice as he looks at her. _"I cannot help you."_

**Ω**

"Cas? What the hell?" Sam demands and watches as the angel sits beside the unconscious girl who went nuts on them. He warned Dean, didn't he? Told him over and over Arýza was unstable but Dean wouldn't listen.

"What'd you do to her?" Dean stops by her head, concerned and confused as all hell. First it's Sam and this Armageddon shit, baby brother being such a dumbass not _listening_ when it isn't just Dean warning him against Ruby. Now it's this; it's Arýza and when the hell did she learn those moves? When – no, _where_ because that's what they all want to know, where did the shy and quiet girl go?

"She is resting now." Castiel answers after a long pause. He stands, blue eyes never leaving the girl he'd thought could help him make things right.

"You put her to sleep?" Dean is incredulous but he can't really be upset with the angel.

"Arýza was not herself."

"Oh really?" Sam scoffs. He has a bloody lip and a sore knee so he'd say she was just right, like the other girls in her family.

Dean is ready to defend her again without a second of hesitation and it bugs the fuck out of Sam.

"No, Dean." Because he's not going to listen to his brother make excuses for her. "When are you going to see? There's a pattern and she fits it to a 'T'."

"There's something wrong-."

"Yeah, she's friggin nuts, Dean!"

Bobby stays out of this one. He's not putting his two cents in and waits for Castiel to speak- if he doesn't disappear like he usually does. For his part, Cas steps between the brothers.

"She was poisoned."

The statement gets all three men's attention but before any of them can ask what the hell he's talking about Castiel turns to Sam.

"Do not touch her."

Sam gapes at the angel. Bobby's eyebrows almost shoot off his forehead. Dean just stares because _what the fuck?_

Cas carefully takes Arýza's arm and gently pushes up the flannel sleeve. They can clearly see the dark imprint of Sam's hand on her tiny wrist. Bobby knows there weren't any bruises on the girl other than the yellowed ones on her throat. Sam looks guilty, _again_ and Dean is getting sick of the whipped dog expression on his brothers face.

"How did this happen, Cas? Where has she been and how the hell'd she get poisoned?" Dean presses, green eyes hard. He's angry, hurt, frustrated- an emotional wreck though he hides it well. He has one outlet and chooses anger.

"She failed to do her part." Castiel replies, the blue eyes slide to Sam and though the angel doesn't say it the brothers know…

…like Sam.

Just as quick, Cas is gone and they're left with a whole lot of questions. Dean just lets it go. He doesn't say a word and bends to pick up Arýza. She's lighter than air and Dean holds her tucked into his chest, fearful she'll disappear again. He doesn’t even question why it feels as though he's got a missing piece back in place. He's by no means _whole_ , not likely he’ll ever be ‘ok’ but he certainly feels… _better_.

He's careful with her and Bobby can see the shift in his expression. Its clear Dean cares for the girl he carries out of the basement. It's Sam he is concerned with.

**Ω**

She sits under the willow frowning at the stream and thinking. She knows where it is she has to be just not how to get there if the angel isn't going to help her. She'll need the weapon as well; the Vorpal blade Cat told her the other girls - Alice and the ones before her- had used to kill the RedQueen…

_"How the hell did they lose it?"_

She wonders if the RedKing doesn't have it. Maybe he lied…and why the heck did she have to deal with the RedKing instead of the Queen. She had to have been easier to handle…?

The warmth fades slowly and the light dims, it takes Arýza a while to notice and when she does there's a dark shadow standing on the other side of the drooping branches.

She feels her skin goose bump and _knows_ there is something wrong, she can feel it.

_'It's only a dream.'_

Small consolation as that is, she takes heart and stands to walk slowly out from under the willow.

_"Did you know Dean built a tire swing for Sam that summer?"_

Arýza makes the effort to slow her shallow breaths. He's standing no more than arm's length away- _Sam…_ only this one isn't Dean's Sam. She can't mistake the flash of gold eyes in the dusk.

_"You're not real."_

He laughs at her, head shaking and shifts his stance.

 _"That again? Come now, I don't have to be real to hurt you."_ His smile is smug and though he makes no threatening move towards her, Arýza takes a step back and flinches from the light touch of the branches.

 _"I'm going to find you."_ He promises. _"And they can't do anything to protect you. They can't stop me and you know it."_ Two steps and he's right in front of her.

Arýza gasps, leans away from his touch, eyes never leaving his face while the sound of her heat thumping echoes deafeningly in her ears.

The RedKing doesn't say anything else. He doesn't need to and smiles at her.

**Ω**

Dean stands at the window staring out at the junk yard under the moonlight. He doesn't see it, doesn't see anything because all he can think of is Arýza lunging at Sam saying she has to kill him.

Are they right?

Doubts fill him; about Arýza and those files and what if there's something to all of it? What if Sam and Bobby _are_ right and Arýza needs real help? The kind of help he isn't qualified to give her… what then?

Dean worries Arýza is heading down the same path as the other girls in her family. They definitely had reason to go nuts and Dean has felt that way more than a few times in his life. The life he's had, the things he's seen and done… how is he expected to remain _normal_?

He can identify with her, understand what she feels on that end and empathize. And whatever Bobby or Sam say… Dean still feels the need to protect her.

The silence is disturbed by the squeak of the bed springs and Dean turns to it immediately. It's the first time she's moved since he put her in bed hours ago. He waits patiently, outlined in the window as Arýza jerks up from the pillows.

She blinks in the dark, dragging in a harsh breath only to find another shadow in the strange room. For a second Arýza thinks it's still a dream but when the shadowed figure moves it's familiar.

"Cat?" the whisper is hopeful and sad, just a little heart wrenching and Dean wonders why that one word pulls him to her side so easily.

"How do you feel?"

"Dean."

He can hear relief in her voice and almost immediately has his arms filled with his pixie as she jumps up from the bed. She's tangled in the covers but she's holding on to him like a drowning girl and he sits down with her whispering the same words over and over.

_You're home, its ok now. You're safe here._

Arýza doesn't let go of Dean though she does loosen her hold. The first thing she does is kiss him; crushing her lips to his, her tongue begging for entry to his mouth. He lets her in, responds to her urgency for a moment, his hands on her waist pulling her closer and his mouth devouring her lips. Months of worry and the fear of never finding her, of seeing her again finally come to the surface in a rush and he can't bear to let her go. Dean grips her just as tight as Arýza holds him. This girl in his arms he could almost pretend had been nothing more than a dream is very real and Dean slows, pulls away to catch his breath.

Arýza presses her mouth back against his, not wanting this dream to end, not wanting to be without him again. Leaving him… it was never about Dean and leaving... it was time to go, to do what all the ones before failed to do.

"Hey, hey," he smiles, resting his forehead against hers to hold her at bay for a moment, lessening the intensity of their reunion. "You're safe," he repeats. "You're home."

The words are easy enough to say and the meaning behind them… that's not so easy but for Arýza being in his arms… _'I'm home.'_

He kisses her again, slowly, hands cupping her face, moving tenderly over the dark cut on her lip. She's got Sam's hand print on her cheek, fading bruises on her throat… "I missed you," he tells her, taking control and deepening their kiss. He can't stop from touching her, tracing the curve of her cheek and kissing her.

Arýza's quick breaths slow and she relaxes into his pace, enjoying the feel of him after so long, after so much has happened. This, right now, it’s where she belongs. Arýza knows she never should've gone, she knew it the moment her hand touched that mirror, knew it in Underland and those thoughts- the knowledge- is a torture she doesn't want to live with right then.

Dean lets his mouth stray from hers and brushes his lips past her ear in a breathy whisper. "I'm sorry."

She doesn't understand why and Dean lightly smoothes her brow, his touch light, caressing as his fingers twine into her hair. "I couldn't find you. We tried but we just couldn't…" he trails off and once more Arýza's lips are soft against his.

"You weren't supposed to." She whispers drawing back enough to look in his eyes. There's so much pain there, hurt and confusion… she hates to see him like that.

_'I did this.'_

"Are you ok now?" he's concerned and is right to be considering what happened a few hours ago in the basement. Even with Cas' assurance that all she needs is rest… It's been five months of hell, worried about her and how to find her, and then dealing with Sam and Ruby-

Dean is just about ready to break and prays to God for just a little bit of peace. All he wants is a moment to just _breathe_ , to get his head wrapped around what they've done. Now that Arýza is home…

As answer she pulls on his shirt, her lips slightly quirked in a tentative smile she hopes can erase some of this pain he's carrying. Her head tilts towards the pillows and the rumpled bed. There's hesitation in her eyes, as well as in the light touch of her hands on his chest- as though she's afraid it might be too late though she fears the knowledge of Underland most.

"I…will." at least she hopes so, she hopes they will both be ok and for the moment only needs him.

Dean smiles, that cocky almost smug smile of his but it isn't quite right. He's forcing it for her and Arýza will leave it alone. He lays her back on the bed, leans down over her, trailing his lips down the line of her jaw and across the fading bruises on her neck. "I'll make sure of it."

It's a promise he means to keep and with the light tug of her hands on the hem of his shirt Dean straightens up to pull it all the way off before leaning over her again. As he kisses her, his arm slips under her waist and pulls her up the bed until her head rests on the pillows, he crawls over her. Arýza's arms are around his neck now, her legs curling around the backs of his thighs.

He kisses down the line of her collarbone, continues the trail downwards into the V of Bobby's flannel shirt until he's stopped by buttons. "They gotta go," he grins, a quick flash of white teeth and for a second Arýza can't help thinking of Cat. Underland intrudes yet again but she isn't there and Arýza holds to that while Dean unfastens the buttons one at a time, kissing every inch of her soft flesh as it is exposed.

He trails a finger softly over each bruise on her torso. Her knuckles were scraped as well and he didn't miss the cut on her forearm but for the moment Dean doesn't want to ask. All the questions, their stories… that can wait 'till morning.

Arýza lets out a soft moan when he finally pulls the flannel wide and takes an eager nipple in his mouth. Her back arches upwards, her nails digging into the muscles of his back. He pulls the shirt off her shoulders and down her arms, tossing it off the bed and rocks back on his haunches for a brief moment, soaking up the glorious sight before him. Silver-green eyes blink longingly at him and for the first time since she disappeared through the mirror, he feels that knot in his gut unravel. His pixie isn't going anywhere.

Arýza smiles up at him, full lips quirked up at the corners and her hands fall on either side of her head. His green eyes are studying her, drinking her in, loving her. She's missed it, has missed _Dean_ … she can't help reaching up to him, to pull him down towards her, wanting to feel his touch again.

He kisses her lips, slowly, deliberately, then starts a trail of soft, fluttering kisses along the line of her jaw to her neck, down around each breast again, lingering there when she moans at the sensations he's sending through her. He moves on, down across her stomach, his hands rubbing circles down her sides to her hips. She's whispering his name, hands skimming over his back and Dean gently bites down on her skin.

She moans more loudly when he reaches her navel, squirming beneath his touch. Strong hands glide from her hips to her knees, gently spreading them farther apart as his warm breath and a wet tongue caress her inner thighs. She's panting in anticipation and lets out a squeal of delight when he finally reaches the spot most craving his touch, first flicking in circles then long, firm licks and small fists bunch up the sheet beneath her when he drives his tongue deep inside, her head tossed back into the pillows.

"God, Dean!" She can feel him smile against her heat but he doesn't falter in his rhythm, his hands gliding up across her stomach to tease and knead her breasts. She's gasping and clutching at his hair now, waves of pleasure rocking through her and she knows she's close already. "Dean!" It sounds so right to be crying out his name. She arches upwards and does it again as she hits her climax, her whole body shuddering with ecstatic release. "Dean!"

He loves the sound of her crying out his name and he grips her hips when she breaks loose, his tongue still driving in and out of her. His own need is almost overwhelming but he takes his time, letting her savor her descent and catch her breath as he licks and kisses the warm wetness on her thighs.

He moves his mouth back up to hers and she tastes herself as she kisses him hungrily. She's undoing his belt buckle, small hands impatiently tugging as they devour each others mouths and his need for her intensifies. He's breathing heavily and he stands up, yanks his own jeans and boxers off, crawling back on top of her, hard and ready.

"God, I missed you Rýza," he breathes, flicking his tongue down her neck. He doesn't think of what he's saying, the words tumbling out of his mouth on their own. They're no less true, likely the most honest he's been but with Arýza it's not difficult. He doesn't have to watch his words around her, to hide and he doesn't want to. It's taken losing her to accept how much he does care.

Arýza senses his need, his urgency, she feels it too and she wraps her legs around his hips, pulling him towards her. "Need you," is all she says and he plunges himself inside. He groans at the delicious feel of her around him and she arches her back up again, cries out in pleasure. He starts to move, slowly at first, in and out, then picks up his pace, his tongue twisting around hers as they kiss. They rock together, moaning and panting, her nails leaving red lines on his back. He thrusts harder and harder, she bucks her hips to meet him, draw him in deeper, closer. Her moans become frantic and he can't get enough of her; he pulls her up, flipping them over quickly without breaking rhythm until she's straddling him. She keeps her hips moving, rocking back and forth, taking him in fully with every grind; inky black locks swaying as she moves. His large hands grasp her hips and his head tips back when she arches forward, her hands pushing from behind against his knees. Their moans blend together and they both know they're close.

"Rýza!" he rasps, green eyes locked on hers, his hands gripping her waist. She bites her lips, head thrown back but can't hold in her cry as she climaxes and her shudders send him over the edge. Dean holds her tightly as he lets go deep inside her, both of them quivering with the intensity of their release.

The creaking bed-springs finally register and his hands glide up her sides drawing her towards him. Arýza lies on his chest, her cheek against his and both just breathe.

"You looked for me." Arýza's voice is barely above a whisper, her mouth grazing his cheek as she pushes up on her arms. "Even though I left…"

Dean runs his fingers through the inky swatch of hair in her eyes, hooking it behind her ear. The silvery-green eyes are bright in the dark room. There's this part of him that felt her loss- more than it makes sense when she's been little more than a stranger to the Winchesters. And yet, he's always known this girl is not like any others he's ever met.

"Yeah." Because he couldn't just let her go. "I'm…"

He looks away first, trails off and she can't blame him for not finishing that sentence.

"I never meant to leave you." She hopes he knows that though his silence says maybe he doesn’t believe her.

Dean remembers very clearly; he begged her not to go much as it goes against his pride but he did and it made no difference. Still, months of going over that night in his mind didn't change what he saw.

“It was-.”

"You're home, Rýza." He rolls on his side with Arýza in his arms, a lingering kiss to stop the excuses he can't bear to listen to just then.

**Ω**

He pauses for a moment, knows he shouldn't have done it and glances towards the sleeping couple. He's done it for her, because there is always a chance she can surprised them all, even him.

The Vorpal blade shimmers as though it were bathed in moonlight but the curtains are drawn and the room is dark.

Castiel slips the weapon into Arýza's bag where Dean left it on the chair in the room. It was in heaven among the other relics and difficult as it was to sneak it out the blade belongs to Arýza.

She will need it.

**Ω**

Arýza is quiet. Dean feels the light touch of her fingers slowly tracing a circle on his chest. He waits, listens patiently as she tells him about her family. She's told him a lot already- everything Dean had ever wanted to know and this girl, the pixie tucked into his side, is more real than any of the others. She'd had the sort of life Dean had dreamed of, and she had planned out her future; school, college, career and family. The white picket fence, dog and kids… It was Dean's fantasy, if ever he let himself think of it anymore.

"Cat.” He frowns at the ceiling, not that he has anything against them. “You like cats?"

"Not _a_ cat." Arýza corrects. "Cat." The difference in her tone isn't missed though Dean doesn't mention it. She rests on her elbows half over Dean and studies him, trying to memorize the strong features… She is certain now and wonders at how she didn't make the connection before.

"So who…?"

She smoothes his brow and presses her lips to his softly. Dean glides his fingers along her bare back, enjoying the warmth of her skin. They've both slept on and off a couple of hours, each time waking up to reassure themselves it hasn't been a dream.

"You are."

Two words and to Dean she isn't making any sense. It's there in the slight frown of his lips and narrowed green eyes as he studies her.

"Was." Arýza sadly corrects. The RedKing killed Cheshire as he's killed plenty other Underlanders including Hatter…

"Sweet heart… you're not making sense."

"I know." She lays her cheek on his chest, closes her eyes and listens to the steady beat of Dean's heart. It's strong and she takes comfort in that. They both have regrets, each of them sorry for their part in this fuck up- the end of the world…

Fear. It has been Arýza's constant companion- a ball and chain she has dragged with her since the fire. It has been so easy to let it guide her, to give in, but… That is not _who_ she is. Cat reminded her of it, forced her to see there is more than fear or pain. With Dean she has recovered her strength, _found herself_ once more.

Cat- Dean… they've both been with her.

"He was you." She feels him tense just a little at her words. "In Underland."

"Me." He's not sure how that is possible or if any of it- all the Underland stuff, it's been almost five months since she disappeared and yet for Arýza it was no more than a few days.

She knows this won’t be easy to tell. “Come on.” But there's one thing he can't brush off and Arýza will do everything she can to prove who he is.

She grabs his t-shirt from the floor and Dean sighs, gets up and pulls on his pants. She's already at the door, her small hand held out for him.

**Ω**

Balthazar smiles when Castiel finally notices his presence.

“What are you doing, brother?”

Castiel glances around wondering if there are others. The blue eyes focus once again on Balthazar.  “Why are you here?”

“Curiosity.” Balthazar shrugs. “The girl failed, Castiel. Sam Winchester broke the last seal…” he laughs. “You think she can change what's going to happen? Castiel…!”

The blue eyes narrow and yes, he does think Arýza can help the Winchesters somehow. He's done his part, done as he was ordered and allowed Sam to escape even though Dean was doing everything in his power to save his brother, to stop the last seal from breaking… His brethren wanted this; they want the Apocalypse to happen.

“You're … Cas, Cas really think of what you're doing, brother.” Balthazar shakes his head because there's determination there. Castiel has chosen his path.

**Ω**

Arýza takes Dean up to the mirror. She's silent on her bare feet, leading him in the dark hallway to the closed door with ease though it shouldn’t be so easy. It squeaks on its hinges and Dean glances over his shoulder but this is less noise than they'd been making 10minutes ago and Sam's door is firmly shut. She tugs his hand and they head into the attic and the mirror. He still thinks it’s a bad idea but she insists and he's only just gotten her back…

“Rýza...”

“I'm not going anywhere, Dean.” She smiles at him and covers her own fear of being so close to the mirror once again; afraid of what it will show them…

Dean stops and wraps his arms around her waist, a dual purpose in the embrace and keeping her with him is the most important factor. She doesn’t mind- this is what she wanted to come back to but the contentment she feels is laced by guilt.

"The RedKing-."

Dean feels her draw in a breath and offers her what comfort he can. His arm slides up her back, fingers lightly threading through her loose hair. She's got a new scar on her skin and he wonders how long it'll be before she tells him how that got there.

"Same dark hair… same-." she avoids any eye contact, unsure she'll be able to tell him if he's looking at her. Because Sam broke the last seal and it wasn't easy for Dean to tell her that. "He killed them all, Dean. He burned my house and my family. He destroyed my world… and he's doing the same to Underland."

" _Alice_ _in Wonderland_." Dean sighs tiredly. He can't _not_ believe her, not with everything he knows is real and everything they've seen-

“He-, he looks…”

Her fingers dig into his sides and her breath is warm on his bare chest. Dean is tense, he knows he won't like what comes next and just waits quietly. He was a fool to think this happy little bubble wasn't going to burst eventually. He just hoped it would last longer. Just a little…

"He looks like Sam."

Her words are so soft Dean could pretend not to have heard her. He doesn't want to believe it but how can he deny that when Sam- Sam…

"I… it's all so twisted, Dean."

She's eerily calm for having just told Dean his baby brother is evil. She was too damn calm when he told her about Ruby and Lilith and the seal… as though it weren't a surprise for her and maybe she did know about Ruby, about Sam…

Sam.

"It felt familiar… I knew everyplace and it wasn't even the same, but I remember what it was like. I remember it… And they both said I was supposed to fix it."

She sounds lost and maybe they are lost, maybe this world they're fighting to save isn't worth the effort, the pain and the struggle they've gone through so far…

"Kill the RedKing and Underland was saved. I could… come home." The silvery-green eyes finally meet his and it feels right; _home…_

Though he holds her close all Dean can think of is Sam.

_"Kill the RedKing…"_

_"We have to kill him! I have to!"_

Her words and she certainly tried-

Dean can't; he won't let her touch Sam. The kid has been a pain in the ass for years, bucketful's of trouble but he's _Dean's_.

"I wasn't prepared." She still feels that sense of shock, the disbelief when it was Sam's face the RedKing wore… "I- I couldn't." she can see Dean’s expression thanks to the moonlight reflecting off the mirror. He isn’t really listening to her and she steps back, out of his arms.

He lets her go, her eyes bright in the dark attic. She doesn't expect to come first, she's spent five months with the brothers- long enough to know how it goes and its Dean and Sam. It won't be any other way though Arýza could hope… wish it were a little more and what is she anyway? Just another girl- maybe a crazy girl but still no more than that, not for them…

And yet… there had been a time when he was hers, just hers…

But it isn’t Dean and this isn’t Underland.

She's hurting and Dean knows it but he won’t give up on Sam no matter how tired he is of fighting for the damn kid. He can feel the distance with Arýza, they both do when a moment ago they'd had each others warmth as a comfort.

Arýza blinks the sting from her eyes and turns back to the mirror. There's so much more that she wants, so many things and it's all a dream because Underland is her reality. It's a part of herself she can't escape.

Dean moves across the short distance and grabs an old trunk. It drags over the boards as close as he dares get to that mirror and takes Arýza’s hand. She quietly curls up on the trunk beside him, her ankles crossed, both staring at the mirror. She can see it, Underland the way the RedKing has twisted it.

"They're identical.” The words nothing but a whisper but she's going to tell him anyway. “ _Exactly_ alike and I just kept thinking of Sam… _your_ Sam."

Sam, who tried to get her to talk and would bring her sinful little snacks just to tempt her into a 'chick flick' moment. Sam, who shared his own fire tragedy thinking to get her to open up. Sam, who put himself in front of her first ghost. Sam, who patiently explained the basics of hunting. Sam, laughing at her clumsy attempt at reassembling the Desert Eagle 9mm. Sam, arguing with Dean over the lack of hot water and wet towels…

"Sam isn't…" Dean can't finish the denial. He loves his brother, has always done anything and everything in his power to keep them safe, to protect Sam…

The trust is broken.

Sam picked a demon over his own brother… After all they've been through, after _everything_ Dean has done for him…

"I know." Arýza assures him, her small hand finds his and she laces their fingers together. She's happy when Dean doesn't pull away, that much hasn't changed and no matter what Sam's mistakes- what he's done… Arýza believes in them both. It doesn't make things any easier.

For just a second Dean wishes he hadn't told her about St. Mary's and Ruby and what Sam did there. The apocalypse is nigh and all he'd wanted was a few hours of peace with her…

“He fought.” She takes a deep breath and tells Dean of Underland and the chessboard and how they lost the Vorpal blade, all the other champions for Underland. “Cat…” her eyes stare into the mirror and at their reflection. He's there, both of them sitting on the stone wall in their white suits. “You… _we_ were the Knight piece. On the chessboard.”

Dean listens quietly but even she can tell it sounds ridiculous. Giant chess pieces moving across, hacking at each other and…

"So… _Harry Potter_?" Because giant chess pieces…all at once _he_ realizes how ridiculous that is. He forgets she's spent the last five years- well, six now- she's spent all this time hidden away from people and the five months living with them wasn't enough time to get her caught up with everything she's missed; movies, TV, talk shows not that they didn't spend enough time lounging in bed watching the idiot box when there was nothing else to do.

"I never saw it." The silvery-green eyes blink up at him, her brow slightly furrowed and for a second he's pushed everything else out of her mind.

"It's not important," None of that matters.

What's done is done.

"You're here." He trails a hand down her face, lightly grazing her jaw and knows how else to keep those memories away.

Dean feels the soft touch of her hand on his chest, fingers lightly skimming over his skin and he leans closer. His lips brush over hers, barely touching and her hand slides up to curve over his neck.

"Arýza." Her name, just a soft whisper but it's much more than that. She feels it, with the touch of his lips and reluctantly she pulls away.

“You're the same.” She whispers, her eyes bright with tears. He may not know it, doesn’t realize there's a part of him that’s claimed her no matter what world they're living in now. “Don’t you see?”

His brow furrows and she's looking to the mirror but all he sees is their reflection. “Sweetheart…”

“Don’t you see? You're Cat…” she's frowning, her eyes skipping from the mirror to Dean and back. What she sees; Underland and Cat right there at her side… That’s not what Dean sees. She can't contain the soft cry or her tears. He can't see it and what does that mean for Cat?

Is she crazy?

“I'm not…” she breathes past the lump in her throat. She's not _crazy_! “I felt…I heard him-you, I-.”

Dean is surprised when she jumps up and starts for the mirror, hand wiping away tears. He grabs at her and manages to catch the hem of his t-shirt. He stands, yanks a little harder and once again his arm wraps around her waist.

“It’s real, Dean. I can _see_ it…” she draws in a breath and tries to calm down but it isn’t easy. “You can't-. You don’t see Underland? You don’t see … Cat.”

“You do?” Dean starts walking them back, the further he gets from the mirror the better off they both are as far as he's concerned. And that thing is all kinds of bad mojo he's wising he hadn't given into her and instead kept her in bed where they belong.

“Yes,” Arýza smacks his arm. “It’s not going to suck us in, Dean. It doesn’t work…it won’t.” because Castiel said she’d failed and Sam broke the last seal and now … "I just couldn't-." before the tears can fall she covers her face and drags in a short breath. Dean just holds her, confused by the things she's told him and he doesn’t have the words to make it better. This… It's all he can give her for now, because it _is_ 'Sam and Dean' and he doesn't know any other way for it to be.

What Dean wants has never been more important than what his Father or brother needed. It wasn't ever fair to Dean but that's all he knows, it's all he's ever done and however much he wants the girl in his arms there's a lot that needs to be done first.

Arýza cries for him; for Cat and his sacrifice, for every one of them and her failure. She feels guilty, for Hatter and won't let herself think of what he did- she can't. She can't ever tell Dean -.

"Cat's dead because of me."

Dean turns her around, takes her trembling hand away from her face and the silvery-green eyes avoid his green. She can't, afraid he will see it, Hatter's mark on her and it's all over. Underland belongs to the RedKing now and Cheshire…

"It was supposed to be me…"

He can see the guilt, her crazy reason for wanting to find this weapon and get back to Underland. She wants to leave again- when he's only just got her back and for what? This Cat she feels guilty for?

Only it isn't just for Cat. It's all of Underland, and _this_ world she wants to help save.

"No." Dean cups her chin, thumb stroking under her lip. "You're not to blame."

Hollow words because there's no way for Dean to know if that is true. He is only sure that Cat chose and Dean is happy with the outcome.

Arýza is alive.

**Ω**

The mirror works both ways and the RedKing makes his way across the throne room to watch them. His smile is displeased and she's unaware of anything but the human.

“Cheshire.”

It’s unmistakable and the damn animal is still taunting him from her world.  After all the trouble he's gone to just to kill the Cat persistently bringing in the Un-Alice. One girl after another… and the RedKing has beat them all.

All but this one.

This girl the Cat died for…

“Stayne!!”

**Ω**

Sam stares into his coffee cup trying hard not to think of Dean and Arýza and the creaking bed springs he could hear coming from her room. He's disgusted with his brother, angry as well. Not a few hours ago Arýza was trying to _kill him_ … what the hell is his brother doing-? Sam huffs a breath, it's not difficult to _know_ what Dean was doing- Sam could hear them from across the hall.

"Get any sleep?"

Sam's head jerks up at Bobby's question and snorts in answer.

"Yeah." Bobby agrees but the answering smile isn't as derisive as Sam's and he ignores the hazel gaze narrowed on the ceiling above them. "So what are we doing about Lucifer?"

The question brings Sam back to earth with a thump and guilt churns his guts. What _are_ they going to do about the Devil?

"Bobby…" Sam sets his coffee down and squares his shoulders. Dean told him to shut up about it, not to mention what went down at St. Mary's but he can't lie to Bobby. He has to apologize for this even if 'I'm sorry' just doesn't cut it. At least Bobby should know. After all these years… Bobby has a right to know what Sam has done.

"Don't want to know." Bobby says with a shake of his head and pointedly turns his back on the short length of hallway leading upstairs. "Aint none of my business anyhow." The boys will just have to deal with the girl; hell, it's pretty easy to see that Dean can deal with her just fine. That's not the case with Sam though.

"What?" Sam frowns, confused and follows Bobby into the living room.

"Your brother cares for the girl, Sam."

Sam lets out a long suffering sigh and just lets it go. He won't argue about Dean's so called 'love life' and he's not going to say anything else of Arýza's role in it. All he can hope for is that when it ends they don't end up with one more person who wants the Winchesters dead.

Bobby accidentally kicks the box set beside his desk. The porcelain heads rattle, creepy empty eyes staring and the old hunter grumbles.

"What are those?" Sam frowns, even he is creeped out by the doll heads and then Bobby pulls one out dangling it from the spindly leg. "You have…weird toys Bobby."

"Aint mine." Bobby replies glowering. "Found itngertips is an eerie reminder of the crawling spider-like toy in one of the scenes.

"Yeah, thought it was Arýza's."

That gets Sam's attention and right away figures it has to do with where she's been.

"She was holding those damn knives and I thought she'd cut herself." Bobby shrugs, a bit embarrassed but what else was he supposed to think? The girl was holding bloody knives and she was splattered with it. And then with how Bobby found her that first night? Well…

"It wasn't?" Sam wonders, hazel eyes on the cracked porcelain head. It's covered with blood and peeking into the crack on the porcelain can see clumps of … something and Sam is trying really hard not to picture a brain.

"No." And there wasn't a cut on her hands when he cleaned them nor on her face when he wiped off the splatters of blood.

**Ω**

He trails the tips of his fingers down her bare shoulder watching the slight flutter of her lashes.

“Rýza…” his voice is soft, a whisper and he follows the trail of his fingers with his mouth.

The faint light of dawn glows in the windows, one more day and their reality will soon intrude. Her slow smile precedes a sigh and she turns to rest on her side where she can bask in the attention he's giving her.

“…Dean…mmm…”

“Morning.” He bites gently into her hip, his hand cupping over the curve of her cheek.

“Hey,” she rests on her back and pulls on his arm until he's on top of her, silvery-green eyes completely focused on him. “Are you planning to keep us in bed all day?”

“You got other plans?” Dean gets another soft smile and that’s more in the last few hours than there ever were in the five months she was with them.

Arýza nods, her arms drape over his shoulders. “I could think of something…else…”

It’s exactly what Dean was thinking and the weight of him pressing into her feels right. It's the same with Dean, her touch like a brand and they both put the words they can't speak out loud in each caress.

Dean gets his wish, a little more time in the happy bubble… just a little longer before they have to face reality again.

 

**Ω**


	8. Part VIII

**Ω**

Bobby takes a drink of his coffee and splutters when the front door crashes open. Sam drops the porcelain head; it shatters on the wooden floor. Both hunters grab at the nearest weapons, Sam with the fire place poker and Bobby with his sawed-off. Four men, identical to the last detail of their faces and that is certainly strange enough, each in some sort of uniform; long sleeved shirt, jeans and dark red jackets.

"Demons?"

Both are almost positive they aren't that. In the next instant they attack, all at once which is strange and Bobby shoots.

_'One down, three more to kill.'_

"What the hell…" Bobby watches the man slowly get up, blood soaking into the shirt and jeans while it grins.

Bobby takes a step back. It-because that can't be a man- so, _it_ stands up. It shows no pain, no wince, not a sound though it's bleeding. Not that it does Bobby any good.

Sam fares a little better with the fire poker. He takes on two, knocks them down with a couple of blows and the third draws blood. It's a clean swipe down Sam's arm- shallow but it still hurts enough to bleed.

**Ω**

Neither wants to get up though the sun is shining bright behind the curtain and Sam stomped his way down stairs twenty minutes ago. Bobby has just gone down and Dean knows that Arýza is awake, just as reluctant to leave their bed.

"Guess… it's our turn." The lack of enthusiasm in her voice is a match to his. The bed-springs whine again even with her slight weight as she sits up. He tugs on the sheet she's covering up with and gets a little sound of protest from her that seems to give him way too much satisfaction for such a simple little thing. There's a smile on Dean's face watching Arýza quickly grab at the floor and slip into the old flannel shirt again. He likes the sight of her swimming in the big shirt and he turns to his side watching as she buttons up.

He's watching her expression, the little pout of her full lips as she focuses on those buttons. Her small hands easily slipping each one into place and her pale skin is covered up inch by inch like he can't see all her bruises anyway. He spent the night memorizing each one. Every mark and he wishes it could’ve been different for her…all those dreams she had of a life, same as his if he lets himself think about it.

It’s a new day. It’s time to face the reality of their lives and while Dean has taken a few hours for himself he's reluctant to drag Arýza from this respite.

"I put your bag over there." He points to the chair and she seems surprised by that. Dean just couldn't bring himself to get rid of it, leave it behind… He was so used to seeing it in the trunk. Stubbornness kept him from leaving it at Bobby's even when Sam pointed out the space it took up in the trunk.

"Thank you." Fresh clothes, toothbrush, a comb! Little luxuries Arýza is grateful to have in hand. The bed-springs squeak as she bounces into bed, her lips pressing a kiss to his smile and just as quickly she's across the room. She hefts the strap onto her shoulder and nods towards the door in question.

"Ladies first." He's rewarded with a smile and this one makes her eyes sparkle. He stretches lazily and watches his pixie skip out of the room and into the bathroom in the hall.

Arýza looks back, her breath catching at the pain in her chest and the familiar sight of her Cat but then Dean couldn’t see himself in the mirror. He has no idea when he's Cat, when he flashes that smug grin of his or like now, stretching out in bed and the sheets barely keeping him decent… She’s across the hall, blinking back fresh tears. The sound of voices drifts up intelligible and with the door closed there is silence. The first thing Arýza finds in her bag is the long knife- the blade engraved in a fancy design of curves. It feels warm in her hand- familiar- and testing it is pleased by the perfect balance.

"Castiel…" she glances up to the ceiling as if she could see to heaven, wondering if he’ll hear and smiles thinking of the angel.

Arýza puts the blade back in her bag and dresses quickly. Dark jeans and a loose shirt, it's a ratty thing but comfortable. It hangs off her shoulder because she cut the neck wider. The sleeves are frayed and still a little long but she won't cut those again. She stops to look in the mirror; for the first time in years Arýza fuses with her hair.

**Ω**

Sam ducks the knife and blocks with the poker, he shoves the twin off and kicks it into the wall. Books slip out of the shelf thumping into the floor. He can hear Bobby fending off the other twin when two more appear in the hallway. They only pause to glance at him, neither moves in to help finish the job and why should they? Four identical looking men in the same clothes… Sam doesn't understand what the hell is going on and he doesn't have time to figure it out.

The twins continue down the hall and Sam spares a glance towards the ceiling. His brother is still up there. And so is Arýza.

**Ω**

Dean sits up at the first shot. He grabs his jeans and pulls them on snagging a shirt from the end of the bed when the second shot rings through the house. He's half dressed as Arýza hurries out of the bathroom and Dean's trying to lace up his boots or at least keep from tripping him. He looks up at the sound of her hurrying across the hall.

"Get in here."

Arýza obeys the order without question. Her bag lands on the floor with a heavy thump, ignored. She stands there, close enough to touch and yet it feels they're miles apart. She's not what he thinks, more than she's said… Arýza doesn’t know her place with them, not now and what is there for her to do?

"Lock the door and don't come out unless I say." He brushes past her, his colt in hand and stops at the door. He spares a lingering look for the girl he's only just gotten back. She seems too calm, unafraid? He doesn’t have time to figure it out while Bobby and Sam are shooting up the house. He grabs the brass door knob and closes it. He takes the stairs two at a time and grips the colt in both hands as he turns into the long hall.

"Not demons!" Sam falls into the hallway, still swinging his poker and knocks the dagger out of a red sleeved hand.

"What the hell?" Dean is just a little surprised. There are two men walking towards him, twins in matching outfits. He takes aim and shoots.

**Ω**

Arýza rushes to the bed. Her hand slips between the mattress and Cat's knives are exactly where she left them. It's the second time she's taken them from Bobby. She starts for the door with every intention of disobeying Dean. From the very start he set the rules and not once did Arýza ever question them. She did as they asked, knowing they were only trying to keep her safe but this time…

From the corner of her eyes Arýza catches the glint of silver and stops. The hilt is sticking out of her bag. She doesn't think twice, just grabs the blade and slips it into her boot. She can barely feel it pressed against her leg but it's secure. Its hers, a legacy she's not going to run from anymore.

With the door open the shouts are loud and in the hall she can begin to make out their voices. Someone is shooting and Sam's warning; _"Not demons."_

Arýza pauses at the top of the stairs, she has that feeling again- just like the first night the Winchesters came into her life. The same as any time it was one of them sent to kill her. Hell or Underland… both sides had a reason to try. It's no good wishing it was just nerves, a healthy fear of the unknown down stairs-

Dean slams into the banister hard enough the wood creaks and all she can see of his attacker is a dark red sleeve. Both disappear, out of her line of sight and Arýza breaks from her daze and hurries down.

**Ω**

"Rýza!"

Dean can't believe her. He kicks at the twin, grappling with him but can't break free. He doesn't stop trying to get the upper hand because the second one is moving to the staircase- he's heading for _her_.

Arýza is half way down the stairs, her path blocked and it smiles.

"Rýz!"

She doesn't respond, doesn't acknowledge Dean, doesn't move either. This thing standing in her way looks like a man but she knows it isn't that.

_"I don't have to be real to hurt you."_

He promised to kill them all.

_"They can't stop me and you know it."_

The RedKing sent them, the Hearts.

Arýza hurries down the last steps; she kicks the Heart using him as a step to leap over the banister. She lands behind the Heart trying to choke Dean, Cat's knives hilt deep in its back. She yanks it off Dean and around, pulling free. The Heart turns but Arýza's arm is halfway across and the head rolls, easily separating. The second Heart comes at her. She ducks the swing at her head, moves as she's been taught; knee to the chest and an upward slash that curves across the neck.

Quick. Not a wasted breath or movement. Exactly as Cheshire taught her all those years ago…

"Take the heads." She doesn't check to see if Dean is ok, to ask his permission, to _explain_ … Not when the RedKing is doing his best to keep his promise.

**Ω**

Bobby swings his shot gun and knocks the damn thing out of his way. There are bullet holes in the walls of his living room and that just pisses him off.

"Heart!"

It turns and both see Arýza rush into the kitchen, Dean standing in the hall behind her with his mouth slightly open and the boy just looks surprised.

She's got those knives again and damn it, Bobby thought he'd hidden them much better than last time. He's just as surprised when the girl decapitates the thing trying to kill him. Silvery-green eyes look up and there's a smear of blood on her cheek.

"Guns are no good. You have to cut off their heads."

"Right." Bobby nods.

Of course they do.

He doesn't put down his shot gun.

**Ω**

Sam kicks it off him, rolls to his feet and gets a glimpse of Dean rushing down the hall towards him. Sam uses the poker to stab and the point slips into the bloody chest. Its…soft. Sam grimaces hearing the slight sucking sound and thinks of Dean slurping down jell-o.

"The head, Sam!"

Sam kicks it again, knocks it down and Dean comes into the living room behind them.

"Cut the head off."

It looks at them, pissed off and scrambles up only Sam grabs at the poker still sticking out of it and shoves it to the floor, his foot pressed into its stomach and still it won't stay down.

Dean grabs the little shovel from the fireplace. He's not happy with the piece of krap but it's got a flat edge and just hopes the damn thing can cut through knowing it's unlikely. He puts his weight into it and is shocked when the head separates rather easily. There was hardly any resistance at all and Dean's cut off plenty of heads to know it's never this easy.

 _'Like cutting paper.'_ And that's weird because they sure as hell feel solid- they damn well hit _hard_.

The back door crashes open.

**Ω**

Bobby jerks around and gets shoved by Arýza. The girl lightly lands on top of his kitchen table and Bobby's glaring at her back. They're all doing their best to fuck up his house.

Arýza is crouched, hands gripping the knives and ready to spring, she only waits for the Hearts to make their move. Bobby automatically aims his shot gun and scowls. Apparently shooting them wasn't going to do him much good and he doesn't feel like having to patch up his kitchen as well.

The Hearts each have a long dagger, they move at the same time and Arýza leaps over their heads. She lands behind them, knives in their backs but they turn on her and she loses her grip on one. She kicks it back and ducks the elbow coming at her face. Cat's knife leaves a long gash as she drags it down. Both Hearts come at her, slashing and doing their best to kill the Underlanders’ Champion.

Sam and Dean move to help and Bobby's pulling out a knife from the drawer near the sink - he's got an assortment of knives stashed in there - while Arýza deals with the Hearts. Arýza stumbles closer to the back door, short of breath and wincing from the kick she couldn't avoid. Dean has no idea what the hell is wrong with Arýza. He's got reason to be upset because he clearly told her to stay put and that sure as hell doesn't mean come out and start- start to-

The brothers have no clue why this is happening, what the carbon copy's are but it's clear they are dealing with something of _hers._ She knows how to kill them. _She_ knows how to kill…

It's the thought in both their minds watching Arýza move and Dean is just a little slower- what the hell happened to his shy, quiet girl? Because this girl is dealing with two of those things. _Two,_ while Sam and Dean handled one.

To be fair, the brothers don't know the rules. That doesn't stop Sam from grabbing his 9mm while Bobby throws his cleaver at the twin.

Dean watches, trying to process what he _knows_ and what he's seeing. Arýza jumping on the Heart and flipping him across the kitchen while Bobby takes the longer meat knife and moves in on the one clawing at the meat cleaver in its back. He cuts off the head easily.

_'Take the head, huh.'_

At the first shot Arýza ducks into a crouch instead of standing up. She's almost certain the Heart will ignore that and scoots her way under the table and out the opposite side making sure to kick the table in the Heart’s way.

Dean hunches a little at the sound- ever careful of flying bullets.

Bobby hunches down as well and glares at Sam.

"Don't shoot 'em!" though it looks like Bobby will be patching up his kitchen after all. Hell, it's not the first time and to be honest, he's done worse to it on his own.

The chairs scrape and the table gets shoved aside. Arýza is up and the Heart is right there. She digs her knife in its thigh, the second knife slicing up its chest. Its head rolls off and the body crumples.

Dean stands in its place, meat cleaver in hand, green eyes on her. She's breathing a little fast, blood smears on her cheek and neck, there's more on her shirt and sleeves-

Arýza looks away first, quickly stepping around Dean to avoid the question she can see there. All those times he and Sam would spar, when she'd run from Dean and avoid any 'training' he'd try and teach her… And she was very capable of taking care of herself without it. It's a lie of omission and to be fair Arýza just thought Underland was a dream. Her romps with Cat and Hatter nothing more than a fantasy…

She's counting the bodies in the kitchen- three and moves towards the hall where the first two Hearts have lost their heads and that makes five.

"What are they?" Sam makes to follow Arýza but ends up blocking the way into the kitchen as she moves towards them again. She steps away from him, careful not to touch Sam and her eyes drop to the floor. She moves down hall towards the front door and heads into the living room without answering.

"Six." She looks around but that's all she can see. "There's only six."

They don't know why it matters and right now Sam could care less. He wants to know what they are and all three men are staring at her.

"Hearts." She grips Cat's knives in her small hands hard, eyes flitting from Bobby to Sam and avoids Dean. She can't look at him and see the confusion, and she knows he has to be angry. "They are the CardGuards from Underland. Your guns won't kill them." She looks pointedly at the 9mm still in Sam's hand before glancing at the walls peppered with bullet holes. "They're paper- some are more like cardboard.” And they have no hearts because in Underland they have bloody heart shaped holes and carry lances.

"Why are they here?"

_'Because he promised to kill you all.'_

Arýza doesn't tell them why. She knows the Hearts are after her, that the RedKing wants her dead and after what she's done in Underland- both Cat and her… She couldn't beat him but she lives and that is enough for the RedKing.

"There should be more…" Arýza frowns. "Ten- like in a suit."

"Su-?"

The floor boards creak and she turns to the hall before any of them.

"Have you enjoyed your gift?"

Dean takes in the perfect stance, her arms kept slightly bent, knives at the ready. He has watched her fight these Hearts but it's not like anything he's seen before. She moves weaving in and out of their reach, closing in to strike and it's more like a dance- she _dances_ … Graceful- each move flowing into the next. Beautiful and alarming because it's _her_ , this girl he's only ever known to be quiet, shy and withdrawn. She is not a brawler, not some loud mouthed chick. Dean likes the quiet girl, he's comfortable with her and this- this girl now…

_'Is hot.'_

As soon as that thought is complete there's a scowl on his face.

Arýza has always been more. He knew that the first day, knew it before he realized she was the one thing he most wants and can't allow himself to have.

The hand of heaven has pulled his strings; Dean has fought it- rebelled against what they've asked and all he's managed to get is more pain, more suffering…

Arýza… it's in her blood; this destiny and it scares her.

In that they understand each other, and they both find themselves trying to make things right once more. Because their lives are a mistake they'll keep trying to correct.

"Stayne."

He laughs at the hiss of his name and leans on the door frame. The Un-Alice is bloody, claws at the ready and he recognizes the knives she holds.

"Hello," Stayne eyes the Hunters. "I have a few more." He tilts his head over his shoulder and two more Hearts stand ready. "His Majesty sends you thanks."

Arýza doesn't get why. She has done nothing for the RedKing and the Knave can see her confusion.

"For the Mirror, of course."

She tenses at mention of the looking glass.

"It's not here." The words are out of her mouth before she can stop them. It's a terrible lie and everyone knows it.

"Of course not." Stayne chuckles and straightens once more. Arýza backs a step in response and its clear to them she is afraid of the Knave.

His eyes travel the length of the room taking in the headless Heart at her feet. There's a pool of blood around the body and he's thinking maybe he couldn’t have asked for two instead of one suit. "Kill them."

The Hearts move into the living room at his order. The back door bangs open and the last Hearts of the suit approach Bobby.

"Not that one." Stayne pauses in the hallway and levels his gaze on Sam, pointing. "He's off limits."

Bobby looks surprised, a little more than Sam, and Dean remembers what Arýza said just a few hours ago.

_"It was Sam."_

Sam has that look again, the guilty expression and Dean is way curious about it. He frowns but there isn't time to ask questions as the Hearts move in.

Arýza has a choice; it's the two Hearts or Stayne. Either or, but not both. The RedKing wants the mirror and the Knave heads into the hall, like he knows where it is. She doesn't know why they want it but she is not going to let them take her mirror.

The Hearts make straight for Arýza as Dean moves past his brother, who heads into the kitchen after Bobby. Arýza backs up, never takes her eyes off the Hearts and when they strike she ducks the combined attack.

"Take their heads."

It's the only warning Dean has as she rushes towards the hallway and Stayne. She doesn't stop to help him and the Hearts turn to follow her. Its Dean's perfect opportunity and he still has the cleaver.

_'The Mirror.'_

It's what they are after and it's the only thing she needs to be concerned about. She tells herself they are capable of protecting themselves. All three men are experienced Hunters, _this_ is what they do and the Winchesters have been trained from a very young age… Arýza can't help glancing over her shoulder to where Dean has beheaded a Heart. Another step and Arýza turns into the hall where Stayne leisurely walks towards the staircase. He's humming a familiar tune, one Arýza quickly recognizes. It reminds her of Hatter's Tea Parties. She feels the heavy weight of what she didn't stop settle in the pit of her stomach and it makes breathing just a little difficult.

**Ω**

Bobby hacks at a Heart, it's easier to cut than it is to hit. It's in the back of his mind, wondering why the damn thing feels solid and yet a knife cuts through it like butter. Out of the corner of his eye, Bobby watches Sam get kicked. The kid doubles over but the Heart isn't using that long knife.

Out of breath and bleeding, Sam feels the throbbing pulse of the cut along his arm like an extra heartbeat. The Heart smacks him again.

"Sam!"

It's the tone of voice that cuts through the fog in Sam's head.

_'They won't kill me.'_

It's the order the Knave gave the Hearts though it doesn't stop 'em from hurting him. Sam remembers the faint image in the mirror before Arýza disappeared in the brilliant flash of light.

 _'They won't kill me.'_ But his brother and Bobby are expendable.

Sam grabs the fist coming at his face and hauls the Heart around, rams him head first into the wall and is just a little sorry for the crack and the plaster that rains down. They are fucking up Bobby's house.

The gruff old hunter sports a cut along his arm and the front of his old flannel shirt is ripped open. He's not as fast as the young ones but he's tough and he's not about to go easy. Sam's Heart is shoved out of the kitchen and that's one less for him to deal with.

Bobby gets a breather, just a bit of space while Sam grabs the Heart slashing at his old bones and slams it face first onto the counter. When it reels back, Bobby swings his knife. There's a splatter of blood that flows in an arch, the tail end of the Heart's head as it flips end over end.

**Ω**

There are three headless bodies, each one lying in a pool of its own blood at Dean's feet. He knows Bobby won't be pleased with the mess but at least they'll still be alive to hear him bitch about it.

Dean moves into the kitchen, cleaver in hand, ready to finish off the Hearts only to find Sam and Bobby with the headless Heart at their feet. Sammy's bruised face sports a cut eyebrow and its bleeding into his eye. Still, Sasquatch is alive and breathing as well as Bobby. Its Arýza he turns to now and stepping into the short hallway moves in behind the Heart trying to slash at his pixie.

Dean grabs the Heart as Arýza ducks under the shiny swipe of the blade. She kicks it and the heavy weight of it slams Dean into the wall but he doesn't let go.

**Ω**

Stayne barely spares them a glance as he starts up the stairs. Halfway to the 2nd floor there's a sharp pain in his thigh and looking finds the bright silver handle of Cheshire's knife. Stayne finds Arýza taking the stairs two at a time, the matching blade in her hand. He pulls it out of his thigh and swings at her. He'd love to kill her, the Un-Alice but he's been ordered not to. All he's left with is pain- he'll hurt her, any chance he gets because the RedKing wants to kill her himself.

Arýza tries her best to match the Knave's speed. It's not easy and thoughts of Cat keep distracting her. She can't help but think how much easier it would be and realizes how much she was dependent on him. There's nothing left of the world she knew, nothing of her family and Underland as it was meant to be- as Cat showed her… it's gone as well. All that Arýza has left is here, just a small bit of wonder and beauty thanks to the green eyed hunter fighting to stay alive- to save _this_ world…

Stayne slashes at a downward arc and Arýza has to use both hands to stop the blade. She feels the impact of his knee in her chest and the deafening crack as the banister gives way under her slight weight. She thinks it might have been Dean and the Heart who weakened it…

**Ω**

"I'm fine." Bobby shoves at Sam who's pressing a towel on the deep cut in Bobby's arm and another to his chest. "Help your brother."

Sam doesn't think twice of disobeying, he jumps to help Dean and grabs the butcher knife Bobby dropped. In the hallway the Heart is missing a hand, the knife is on the ground between them and it's pissed. Dean takes another swing at it, just missing but he doesn't let up.

Arýza lies on the floor a foot away, the broken banister in pieces- like there's time to rest and the Knave is limping its way up the last few steps. She's struggling to get up, a little breathless but she makes it to her feet and then she's heading up the stairs after him.

Sam is beside Dean in three strides but by then big brother has the Hearts head rolling off its shoulders.

Dean steps over the body, it's pretty damn clear where he's going and Sam can't help the frown on his face.

"Keep an eye out for more." Dean orders as turns to the stairs ignoring everything else as he yells at Arýza.

**Ω**

Stayne can hear her come up the creaking attic stairs- loud thundering steps before she jumps on him. Arýza gets a few shallow cuts before he can get her off. It's harder than it should've been and when she looks up from the ground, crushed boxes and dust clouds surround her, there's a little more blood on her than before.

"You couldn't stop him." He straightens to his full height, the pain in his thigh and on his chest just an annoyance he can easily ignore. "And this," he swipes lightly at the cuts on his chest that bleed slowly into the dark shirt beneath his jacket. "This is all you _can_ do. You're no match for me little girl." He laughs, a slow chuckle filled with derision. "You're precious animal isn't around to help you now."

"You bear his mark." The silvery-eyes narrow, focus on the shallow scar left by Cat's knife. She was there, she knows when, how and the twitch of Stayne's hand says he does too.

She's on her feet a lot faster than he expected. She is a fighter after all; the Un-Alice, Champion of Underland…

"Here's another!" Arýza leaves a matching gash on his chest.

Dean walks in as Stayne brings his hand down on Arýza. It's a harsh blow that knocks the slight girl to the floor yet again though it doesn't keep her down. She's half up when the heavy boot slams into her side and she's rolling away from the Knave painfully aware of the lack of air in her lungs.

"Cheshire wasn't much help to you there." Stayne gloats. "Just another Underlander wasting time believing a girl had any power to change Underland." He winces, the wound bleeding more as he kneels beside her. "You're not even Alice."

Arýza drags in a harsh breath, her side burns like a thousand fires have been lit and the Knave is just a blur before her but Cat's knife is very real in her hand.

"How could Cheshire ever think the dream version of Underland would prepare you for the reality of it?" he laughs and it's enough to bring Arýza's hand up, the tip of Cat's knife catching his face as Stayne retreats.

"It was real!" she's up again, the pain in her side ignored in favor of the anger churning in her gut.

"Fantasy!" Stayne roars, blood running down his face. "All the old woman did was buy you time and you spent that playing house with your Cat in his version of Underland."

"Liar!" Arýza lunges without thought, without the level head Cat's always insisted she keep in order to win. She can't think when what the Knave has said is true. Her youth is no excuse; she can't say it was a teenage girl's fantasy and leave it at that. There is too much to lose, too much that has already been lost because of her fear and denial of things Arýza did not want to believe.

"You can't escape it." Stayne grabs her wrist in his hand, fingers digging into her skin. His fist leaves a mark on her cheek, the second blow cuts her lip. "Underland is in your blood." His fist smacks her again, he twists her arm and she finally drops Cat's knife. She can't breathe because the Knave planted his boot in her stomach.

Arýza hits the floor hard.

"There's nowhere you can hide." Stayne is smug. "And we don't stop." He certainly won't and soon enough the RedKing will let him loose.

**Ω**

Dean takes the scene before him in one glance. Arýza on the ground, hurt and bleeding while the Knave gloats. Their reflections barely register and Dean moves behind with his knife.

Stayne doesn’t miss the Cat stalking towards him in the mirror. He brings his arm back, elbow connecting with Dean's chest. They have a short scuffle, each trading blows and drawing blood. Dean ends up in the pile of boxes and some old hazardly hung cages clatter on top of him.

"He's not much better out of Underland." Stayne gloats as Arýza tries again. Empty handed she can't cause him real pain though she tries. "Ineffectual." He says. "I do hope Hatter enjoyed you enough."

Arýza kicks him, her fist aimed at his throat. The Knave is on his knees but he's quick and grabs Arýza forcing her back to his chest, a big hand wrapped around her throat and cutting off her air.

"You see?" he looks at their reflection in the mirror. The girl trying to breath past the grip he has on her throat. She is hurting and Stayne pulls her arm just a little further loving the grimace of pain on her features. "Its all wrong, how do you expect the door to open like this, little ‘Alice’?" he mocks her and her struggles grow weak. Reluctantly he lets go, dropping her in front of the mirror where she coughs and drags in breath after breath.

"Kill me." Her voice is just a raspy whisper. "I won't stop." She warns half sitting up, her back to the mirror. "I'll find a way back. I am going to kill the RedKing." She takes deep breaths, silvery-green eyes steady and he laughs.

"Your only hope of destroying him, or any door… is lost." Stayne laughs, he half turns away from her, eyes on the struggling Hunter shoving krap off himself. "You don't have the Vorpal blade."

Dean knocks a cage aside, the metal clanging as it hits the floor. He can see them, or rather their reflections in the mirror and that is just…

The Knave is in full armor; black and huge standing in front of Arýza. Its Arýza's reflection that catches Dean's attention; long black hair flowing loose, the blue dress- her small hand reaching towards her leg encased in lace stockings.

Dean steps half out of the ruble and stops. He didn't want to believe her, about the cat but he can't deny what's staring back at him from the mirror.

Cat is nothing at all like the cartoon kitten. _This_ Cat is…he's…lethal. That's all he can think of to describe what he sees. The black hair, the knives he's holding… but the face.

_'That's me.'_

It is Dean's face and he almost reaches up to touch it, just to make sure it isn't some hallucination. Because Dean knows his eyes aren't some creepy rainbow shade, _his_ eyes are green and they've been green since he was born. Dean wouldn't be comfortable with his hair long- hell it bugs the fuck out of him and yet his reflection… _Cat's_ black hair reaches his shoulders in smooth waves.

"What the fuck…"

**Ω**

"All the ones before you failed to sever any ties to Underland."

It's part of her.

Stayne eyes her, the small hand that wipes the blood from her lip then reaches into her boot. She draws the silver blade and it glints, shimmering brighter as her blood drips on the blade.

"No."

Arýza sits up, full lips pulled into a satisfied smile.

The Knave is afraid.

"NO!" he grabs for her as Arýza pushes off the floor and turns towards the mirror.

Her reflection is clothed in the same white suit as she wore on the chessboard, inky hair pulled back into a braid and now she can see the combs holding it out of her eyes. Silver half-moons with the same delicate pattern as the Vorpal blade. For a second she allows herself a brief smile at the image.

"Don't!" Stayne feels the impact of the Vorpal blade as Arýza stabs the mirror. It pierces the surface and sinks into it with little resistance. Cracks spread from the point of impact quickly; long lines in jagged cuts and Arýza turns her face from the surface feeling the soft breeze it emits.

The mirror shakes, a long groaning sound fills Bobby's attic and Arýza grips the gold leaf frame trying to hold it upright. She won't let go of the Vorpal blade, can't.

**Ω**

Dean has a sense of déjà vu seeing Arýza with the mirror. It glows brighter especially through the cuts and the loud ringing is just as painful as hearing the angels trying to 'speak' with their true voices. He thinks maybe he does hear voices, unintelligible and very soft whatever they say really doesn’t matter more than what they _feel_. Dust picks up, stirred by a phantom wind though he feels it too.

The mirror shatters, Dean yells her name and thousands of shards shoot towards them. The Knave is cut, shredded to pieces and blown back towards Dean. The blinding light from the looking glass blots out everything.

**Ω**

Bobby and Sam fall as the house shakes. The wood groans and creaks, dust floats out of tiny crevasses and cracks appear in the walls. It’s an old house and the shaking hasn’t helped it any. Bobby's makeshift office-living room is littered with headless bodies and books strewn about… there's a huge mess to be cleaned up but that will wait until everyone has been accounted for and patched up.

"Bobby?" Sam calls looking into the kitchen to find the old man sitting on the floor in the corner. He is relieved and just as quickly finds himself worried for his brother but Bobby is right there and Dean would want Sam to help him first.

"What the hell was that?" Bobby grumbles shoving boxes of food off only to sneeze as a can of pepper tips over. He swipes at his face but only sneezes again and it _hurts_ because the cut on his chest feels like it’s covered in fire ants.

Sam grabs Bobby's hand and hauls him up. He gives the kitchen a quick pass and almost apologizes for the mess. Cupboards are hanging open, their insides spilled onto the floor and Bobby's dishes lie broken among the foodstuff. A long list of groceries… that’s one more thing they’ll owe Bobby for his help.

"Where's your brother?"

Sam starts towards the stairs and Bobby follows him. He winces, feeling the cuts on his chest sting but hurries up into the attic where Stayne went after the mirror. Bobby hopes they didn’t get it, that the ‘earthquake’ is a good sign because he just can't have one more bad piece of news. No sir….

They find Dean kicking krap out of his way, boxes spilling their contents and cluttering Dean's path. Sam quickly moves to help him and between them Dean finally gets some headway.

"Rýza." Dean calls her again but she hasn't answered, she hasn’t said anything- not a sound and she hasn’t moved. Fear grips his chest like a vice slowly being squeezed. It’s a phantom reminder of what he's experienced with his brother all his life but this girl brings out some seriously strong feelings and its freaking him out.  

She's been telling him the truth from the moment she woke up. He's both, he's Dean and he's Cat and why the hell couldn’t he see that last night? The mirror… With Sam's help they clear the space where it once rested. The frame is kindling now, gold pieces of wood scattered around her and Dean keeps pulling off more krap though very carefully.

"Rýz…"

She's covered in broken bits of glass, lying face down and still. Sam almost reaches down to touch her but remembers the bruises on her wrist. It was him, his touch and so he does as Cas has ordered. Sam doesn’t touch their pixie but his foot slips on some kindling and he falls on half empty boxes.

"What happened?" Bobby can't see past the clutter, both of them obstructing his view though it’s pretty clear _all_ of his home is in ruins. The one window in the attic is broken, the wind blowing in through scatters more dust.

  1. "That's a lot of blood, Dean." Sam doesn't think there's anything for them to do that can help her. He scrambles up on his knees, sees the blood oozing under her shirt just as well as his brother can see it. Her shirt is shredded, ragged gray bits hanging off her arm, the skin glinting with bits of glass imbedded in it. It’s the same with her jeans, more glass scattered around her. It crunches under Dean's boots as he grabs the last piece of the ornate frame and tosses it aside to kneel close to her head. He doesn’t know what to do, his hands hover about her head, he hesitates before carefully reaching to her neck searching for a pulse and afraid he might not find one. After everything that's happened… he can't believe this is the end. After everything…   



"Arýza…" he breathes her name, a sigh of relief and his eyes close for just a second. There's a faint scrape, it's not loud enough to draw their attention. Dean splays his hand on her back, fingers open and slightly curling into her hair and the rag that had been her shirt. He can feel the gentle rise and fall as she breathes; he reaches under her and carefully turns her over when she finally stirs.

She utters a barely audible moan, her nose wrinkles and Dean knows she's feeling some pain. Relief floods through Dean and he has to force himself not to hurry, to be gentle as he lays her over his thigh.

"Can you hear me?" he keeps asking her questions, careful of the cuts on her side. She was lucky, standing half outside of the frame though it doesn't explain how it isn't worse. He saw what happened to the Knave… And how isn't she bleeding out from all that glass? How the hell did Dean manage to get off without a scratch when he was behind Stayne-

"Dean?" silvery-green eyes flutter open and that vice slowly tightening around his heart falls away. "Did it work?" it’s just a soft whisper, blood on her lips and bruises already mottling on her cheek, along her jaw... She fought like a little wild thing, angry and this is her reward for the reckless, thoughtless attack.

"Yeah," Dean nods, hands gently running along her face and into her hair. Glass falls out of the inky tresses and really, she's never been more beautiful…"You broke it, baby." There's a slight tremble in his voice and his smile…its not as devil may care as his usual but he's smiling and that’s good.

Arýza sighs, relieved and closes her eyes feeling every ache and pain flare bright as a burning star. She can feel Dean lean over her, the warmth of his breath flutters over her face and though she wants to reach up and thread her fingers through his hair, it hurts too much to do more than breathe.

"That's seven years bad luck, Rýza." Dean tries for some levity and gets the full blast of those silvery-green eyes and she laughs then groans in pain for it.

"Oh, please,” She begs and he chuckles because he's happy his pixie is alive and she's laughing! “Don’t make me laugh." He leans over her again, hand cupped around her cheek and his breath skims over her skin. The soft pressure of his lips on hers earns another wince but she doesn’t complain.

"You're damn lucky, sweetheart." Dean says in a low voice.

**Ω**

Bobby sports a bandage on his arm, he's got a clean shirt on and the bruise on his cheek is a flaming reddish-pink color. He's alive and hasn't made any complaints about his house being wrecked, least not yet. Sam's got a few stitches in his arm and a butterfly clip keeping the cut on his eyebrow closed. Out of the four, Dean is the cleanest one- no stitches and Arýza is lucky enough not to need any either.

She's sitting on the couch, trying not to wince each time she shifts and feels the soft cotton skim over the cuts on her leg and side not to mention her arm. Dean spent the last half hour picking the pieces of glass out of her skin. She can still hear his admonishments for her to lie still.

"Those are nightmare spiders." Arýza's nose scrunches lightly at the sight of the porcelain heads. "They came through the mirror ... One of them bit me." She draws back the sleeve on the robe Dean gave her to wear and shows them the fading punctures. "I could've killed you." Her eyes rest on Bobby, the tone apologetic and slightly guilt ridden and the old hunter gives Dean a ‘Didn’t I say that’ look.

"How did they get through? I mean, why?"

Bobby isn't the only one who notices Arýza's reluctant glance at Sam and how quickly she looks away.

"Because…" she forces her eyes to Sam again, it’s not fair to fear him here when the RedKing is in Underland. "Because he sent them."

Dean looks from Sam to Arýza and back and finally stands up. Sam tears his gaze away from Arýza, there's that same guilty expression on his face as he glances at his brother. It’s another secret and Dean's had enough of it, enough of the lying and the hiding.

"You know." Dean glares, jaw clenched tight and Bobby's looking around with a scowl because none of them is saying a damn thing.

"Know what?" he barks.

"You're him." Arýza says quietly. "The RedKing."

Sam just sighs, nods because he _knows_ what he saw in the mirror. It was the RedKing but it was his reflection and he gets it…

"That's why Cas wouldn't let us go after you." It all makes sense to Sam. "I saw my reflection, it _was_ me." He looks at Dean, sorry all over again and he knows it's getting old real fast but he can't help feeling guilty.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Bobby snaps and maybe they got hit a little too hard because as far as he knows that mirror only ever showed him what all the other mirrors in his house do.

"I broke the last seal." Sam states before Dean can even think to stop him. "I killed Lilith and set Lucifer free. All of this, it's my fault."

There's dead silence in the living room and Bobby can only stare at Sam, this boy he can't begin to recognize and it's all playing out over his face for them to see.

"You damn fool." Bobby finally breathes out. He doesn't say anything else but then again, what the hell do you say to the person who brings about the Apocalypse? After all of Dean's attempts to prevent just this! To help Sam- protect him…

"I couldn't do it." they turn to Arýza and she's got a matching 'I'm so sorry' expression on her face as well. "Castiel said I had to kill the RedKing, that I could affect this world from Underland but I… I just couldn't."

"Cas?" Dean frowns; it's the first he's heard of it. "You saw Cas." He's not hiding his displeasure at just finding out.

"When? Where?" Sam takes a step towards her stopping when she flinches away from him.

Arýza swallows past the sudden lump in her throat. No matter how much she _knows_ Sam _isn't_ the RedKing they still look the same. It’s the same face… but she's trying hard not to make it anymore uncomfortable for everyone. She can see Sam hesitate around her, she sees Dean tense up at her reaction to Sam and she hates that.

"After Cat saved me…from the CardGuards." She can't look up from the floor and Dean _knows_ there's something she's not saying, he can't understand why that is and he wants to know. He wants the truth out of them for once. An explanation that’s going to make him feel better about how easily he can pick up on her expressions and know _exactly_ what she's feeling or thinking like Dean knows Arýza as well or better than he knows Sam…

"He wasn't supposed to be there." Just like Arýza should've known better… Hatter left his mark and that's not something she can erase. And then she wonders if maybe the changes in Underland have affected Hatter, Cat and all the others there because the dream is fading...

"He was there." Dean's jaw is clenched tight with anger yet again.

"He didn't stay long. Just told me to kill the RedKing… I- wanted to come back." Silvery-green eyes shimmer with gathering tears and Dean lets out a breath. He's pissed at the angel for just leaving her there, in that crazy place and for not telling him how to get to her. Castiel practically abandoned her in Underland. Dean and Sam… they're Hunters; they deal with crazy shit all the time so an angel sending them to protect seals isn't that far off from what they usually do. But Arýza…

"We'll figure this out." Dean promises, green eyes look around the living room and they're all feeling it. They've got the Devil running around, the Apocalypse one day closer and no way to stop it. They have no idea what the future holds.

**Ω**

The room is quiet, dark except for the moonlight peeking through the crack in the curtains. Dean's arm is a comforting weight as is the steady beat of his heart. She takes a deep breath, for the moment content and at peace after a long day of cleaning up and starting to put Bobby's house back to what it was before the Hearts attacked that morning.

Castiel makes no sound, no move. He's watched them sleep the past hour, studies them in hopes of understanding how it is that touch seems to banish their nightmares. He knows what Dean dreams about; the souls on his rack, their cries and pleas for mercy, the pain and blood… It's not every night, the nightmares but often enough for the man to prolong the need for it or drink himself unconscious.

Arýza dreams of the fire, the pain and she hears the RedKing's laughter, his taunts, his threats and she lives it all over again. Hatter's betrayal, Cheshire's death…

They both suffer apart; Arýza and Dean.

She 'wakes', silvery-green eyes slowly focus on the familiar trench coat and glide up to the bright blue eyes staring down at her. Neither speaks and Arýza knows- _"I'm dreaming."_

Cas only nods.

 _"And Dean?"_ she looks to him and lays a small hand on his cheek as he sleeps.

_"He will not wake."_

He waits patiently for Arýza to rise, watches the careful way she slips from Dean's embrace and wonders why when he's assured her nothing will make him wake up.

This is _her_ dream.

Once on her feet the room disappears. Arýza stands with Cas in the sunny meadow, the lazy stream gurgling past just a few yards away and the familiar weeping willow at the edge. Its Dean's place and she smiles.

_"This is how it should be."_

There should be no end to the sunny days spent listening to the song of birds, at peace with the world and everything in it.

Castiel doesn't agree or deny. He hasn't come to offer her a reprieve and she knows it.

_"I can't let it stay like that."_

He knows what she wants and he's already given her the Vorpal blade.

Bright blue eyes shift and Arýza turns following his gaze. She feels her heart clench at the familiar sight; Cat lying on his back in the grass sunning himself. Her eyes sting and he blurs but the longing doesn't fade one bit. He's all she wanted to come home to and maybe there is something of Cat left in Underland…she hopes there is because it wouldn’t be Underland without him.

 _"Will you take care of him?"_ she looks at the angel, eyes bright with tears and there is no question Arýza wants to stay with Dean. _"Don't let him do anything reckless."_ Her tone is questioning, unsure of the angels ability to guarantee such a request in regards to Dean. She has no idea what's in store for him, for either of the Winchesters and just hopes Castiel can keep Dean safe. _“I promised I wouldn’t leave him…”_

Cas follows the trail of her first tear. He wipes it from her cheek as she sniffles, offering him a small smile for the human act. His touch is warm and once again fills her with that light airy feeling. Arýza knows she won't be in pain when she wakes up. She glances at the sleeping figure once more and nods. There's a chance it can be saved, both worlds even if Underland is said to be nothing but her imagination. They have files on all the ones before her, thick a full of their own adventures in Underland labeled delusions. And Dean wouldn’t believe a word of it…

_"Go home."_

He notes her confusion and understands it. The house is nothing but a shell and the mirror has been destroyed.

_"The family home."_

Arýza is surprised.

_'Home.'_

That is farther than she had expected to travel.

Arýza blinks in the sudden glow of light and finds herself safely in bed with Dean. A moment ago she had been standing in front of Castiel.

It's no longer a dream and pulling back the sleeve finds her skin smooth, not cuts or scars.

She can feel the rise and fall of Dean's chest with each breath, feel the warmth of his body next to hers… and an overwhelming sense of loss and loneliness fills Arýza.

_'Home.'_

She knows what it means, where she will have to go and the getting there part is going to be difficult. She knows what _home_ feels like and misses that, the home taken in a blaze and no place she ever felt the same, nowhere safe to have a moment of peace until…

_Dean._

She doesn't want to leave _him_ … and yet _Dean_ isn’t solely _hers._ Sam has a larger claim to him, they're blood and family sticks together. Dean has proven that true time and time again and each time his reward has been some form of pain or disappointment. Arýza wishes it didn’t have to be this way, to break a promise when she's only just come back to him…

He stirs at the gentle touch of her fingers on his jaw. Dean sighs, there's a flash of green before his eyes close again and he follows her touch. It's so easy and he finds her lips as she tilts her face up to his. Strong arms hold her close…

Home.

**Ω**

_You know I have to go- why_

_I can still change this, do my part. I have to. I screwed up, Dean. Too afraid of my own shadow, of a past that makes no sense- Everything is twisted, all of them suffering…_

_It's my fault too, but I know where I need to be to fix this._

_To help…_

You _helped me-_

 _I won't deny this scares me- that maybe_ he's _right and I'm not strong enough to stop him… but I'm more afraid of what will happen here if I don't try. I don't know if this… 'war' is ever going to end…_

_Please… I wouldn't leave you if there was any other way. Know that this isn't easy for me, none of it._

_I love you, Dean._

_I'll do my best to come back to you._

_Arýza_

**Ω**


	9. Part IX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ive decided to continue this fic so I will be updating as I'm writing.  
> And I've gone back and re-typed most of the chapters so there is more information. I hope that clears up any questions I'd left you guys with.  
> Enjoy!

**Ω**

She looks back once and only because there's an almost certainty that she won't be able to keep her promise to him and return.

The house- it looks worn down and tired but in the setting sun with the sky painted in shades of purple and crimson, Arýza knows there hasn’t been anywhere she's felt at home since hers was destroyed. Through the trees she makes out the glowing light of the windows where most likely Bobby is at his desk answering calls from any of a dozen Hunters that need his help for something or other. Dean has made plenty of those calls while she was with them and not until recently does Arýza see how unappreciated Bobby's help is. No one says ‘Thank you’, the Winchesters included and maybe they won't ever realize that they don’t but Bobby knows the boys love him.

Families aren't defined by blood alone and Arýza has seen the truth of it in the few weeks spent at Bobby's. Watching them…it wasn’t easy letting down her guard at first. Trying to feel a part of their lives when her only tie is to Dean- well, the part of him that is Cat.

She starts walking again, her pack suddenly heavy on her shoulders. It’ll be a few hours yet, before Dean stops to rest and then maybe he might not sift through his bag until morning so her note will go un-noticed and unread for a while still…

_‘Long enough I’ll be far away from anyone.'_

Her eyes sting and they water and she never wipes the tears from her cheeks though she keeps walking. Had she done as they'd asked her, had she killed the RedKing when Cat was still fighting at her side…

“I have to come back.”  Her voice is a hollow whisper through the dusk. “I have to.”

It’s what she most wants and Arýza knows it’s not always what you get.

**Ω**

She watches the figure hop onto the moving train and waits.

Underland's champion failed to kill the RedKing and the last seal on earth was broken by Sam Winchester.

The BoyKing.

Lucifer is free.

The Devil walks the earth among the mudmonkeys – humans blind to the coming Apocalypse, well...most turn a blind eye to the signs streaking though the globe.

The angels gather; they wait and some whisper in their deepest interior; _where is our Father?_

Anna has questioned it as well, wondered why _God_ hasn’t given a sign that he still cares, still _lives_ … why he never did anything to stop the others from imprisoning her…

Anna follows the train. The Un-Alice is tied to the Winchesters, her fate entwined with theirs and if the brothers are hidden from angel and demon alike thanks to Castiel, well then…

Who else is the angel going to question as to their whereabouts aside from the old hunter safely ensconced in his home?

**Ω**

A note.

It’s like the t-shirt, those ‘I went to (?) and all I got was this lousy t-shirt’. Only all Dean got was a friggin note.

_‘She’s gone.’_

He sits on the edge of the bed in their motel room staring at the piece of paper she set right on top so he’d find it when he opened the duffel.

So he'd be sure to see it.

He's staring at it, following the curves in the ‘s’ and ‘a’ of the words inked in black on the white piece of paper. Her excuse- because that’s how he's looking at this note of hers, an excuse to leave even though he'd known she wanted to go back, back to Underland and its out of guilt. Because Cat died, because she didn’t kill the RedKing and Stayne taunted her with it, with the twisted version of Underland under the RedKing’s rule. Because it wasn’t how Cat had shown it to her in those dreams, dreams that started the day she put on the Omega- her 13th birthday gift…

He knows all about her dreams- what she thinks is real and that outside of Underland all Arýza thinks of is that damn Hatter though she doesn’t want to talk about him. And her Cat.

But the Cat is also Dean… he saw it in the mirror; he saw Arýza as she is in Underland- a Champion… Dean has his cell phone in hand before he thinks about what it is he's doing.

_‘She's already gone…’_

The cell rings and picks up on the fourth tone, Bobby's raspy tone answers and Dean mumbles a hello, his mind suddenly blank.

_“Dean? You there?”_

“Yeah,” Dean replies and clears his throat, green eyes staring at the krappy carpet under his feet. “Yeah, hey Bobby…”

There's a heavy sigh and a grumbled snort before Bobby speaks again. _“Swear you're gonna get old before your time, boy.”_ There's the sound of heavy foot steps as the older man starts walking. _“She's been quiet as a mouse.”_ And Bobby knows that’s the reason for Dean's call, just like the one he answered half an hour after they'd left.

“She's there?” Dean sits up and maybe she changed her mind about leaving…

 _“Of course she's here.”_ Bobby scowls. _“Where’d you think she's gonna go?”_ because the mirror is gone so nothing is coming through and Arýza isn't disappearing into it. He knocks on the door to the room she's been sharing with Dean and calls to her. Its been a few hours since he's last heard from her but she’d said she was heading up to rest for a bit…

“ _Is_ she there?” Dean asks as his eyes catch Sam’s.

Bobby calls again and still gets no answer. He opens the door carefully and finds it empty, nothing out of place and no Arýza either. The soft curse is all the answer Dean needs, to know that she didn’t change her mind and now Arýza is gone.

“What?” Sam turns away from the computer to face Dean but his brother just shakes his head and lies back on the bed, phone still to his ear. He stops looking for this latest clue as to what both sides are after and focuses on Dean.

 _“Where the hell did she get to now?”_ Bobby's tone is surly and there on the bed is a neatly folded sheet of paper with his name. He reads it over quickly, just a brief thank you for all his help and an apology for sneaking out on him.

“Home…” Dean answers on a heavy breath. “Don’t worry about it Bobby. She's got an angel watching out for her.”There's no denying the disgusted tone laced with sarcasm.

_“Since when are you so trusting with them feathered pigeons?”_

“I know where she's going and why. And Cas’ll make sure she gets there…” because that’s where the angels want her. He's pissed and why the hell is it so easy for everyone to leave?

_‘It’s where she wants to be.’_

He hangs up.

Sam is quiet; waiting for Dean to fill him in though the fact Arýza is no longer at Bobby's has been made clear. He hesitates to ask for the details and after a moment Sam crosses the room, the bathroom door closes behind him. He won't say anything about the note Dean crumbled up and left on the floor at his feet. He can't help feeling responsible for all of it; their Mother dying, their Father… for breaking the last seal and releasing Lucifer- if he'd only listened to Dean… But ‘if’ doesn’t change what _is_ and Sam wants to make things right again.

**Ω**

Something changes, the repetitive motion of the train and the sound of the rails lulled her to sleep. This time there is no Cat to keep her company, to talk to… but Arýza is not alone in the dark compartment. She moves slowly, inch by inch until her hand is closed about Cat’s knife. She searches the darkness, broken intermittently from moonlight that makes it through the cracks in the boards. It doesn’t feel right but there's no accompanying vice constricting her lungs so the threat doesn’t come from Underland, its not demons either, not with the Devil'sTraps she drew on both doors, floor and ceiling…

Anna takes a step into her direct line of sight. Pale moonlight accents the alabaster tone of her skin and darkens the red in her hair. Arýza only stares, makes no move to stand or attack, she says nothing, makes no question or demand.

Anna frowns.

“Where are they?”

Arýza blinks, brow furrowing slightly and still says nothing. Anna steps closer, hand reaching down to grab her and recoils at the sting on her flesh. Blood wells and seeps into the sleeve of her jacket.

“You're an angel…” because there's an almost imperceptible glow about her, Cas is brighter- warmer.

Anna lunges, hand clamped on the small wrist, the delicate bones easily snap and the knife glints in the darkness at their feet. Arýza strikes blindly, pain shooting up her arm in waves and misses. Anna shoves her away, her point clear as Arýza cradles her arm to her chest and drags in panting breaths.

The repetitive sound of metal screeching and the clack of the tracks is accompanied by Arýza's shallow breaths filled with pain. Silvery-green eyes never leave the angels face, wary and just a little frightened.

She's an angel.

“Where are they?”

Arýza understands, she doesn’t speak, she has no intention of telling the angel were the brothers are or where they are going. She is curious about ‘why’ the angel needs to know and a broken wrist is all the answer she's gotten. It’s enough to know this angel can't be on their side.

“Tell me where they are.” The demand is accompanied by a menacing step towards the young woman curled up on the old wood boards. Anna is pleased to see Arýza flinch; it’s a step in the right direction- towards the Winchesters.

“Why can't you help them?” the question brings Anna to Arýza's face, kneeling before her to study the ‘mud-monkey’ that failed just as Sam failed. She wonders what its all for, why they fight against the ineffable plan when its all been ordained?

“Back away.”

The order, the harsh tone of voice- its familiar to both. Anna turns, rising to her feet in a fluid motion while the electric blue eyes skip over her to check on Arýza. His jaw clenches and the blue eyes return to the angel.

“Castiel-.”

“Leave.”

Arýza watches the silent battle of wills. She's on Castiel’s side and if she weren't she’d certainly pick him seeing the angel vibrating with anger, looking very ‘wrathful’. The next instant there's a flutter of wings and Anna is gone. There's a sort of blur as she leaves that fades instantly- Arýza's caught Castiel leaving the same way only once before.

“Cas…”

He's beside her, hand gentle as he takes her broken wrist and heals it. The warmth that fills Arýza ebbs slowly and in its wake there's a tingling all over her skin. She's no longer tired, sleepy then her stomach grumbles and she offers a sheepish smile to the angel.

“Sorry,” she whispers with a little shrug. “I didn’t have time to get travel snacks.”

Castiel’s expression hasn’t changed from its serious yet slightly frowning look. He stands, hand still holding to Arýza as he pulls her up. The train has slowed, the city sounds growing louder.

“The city so nice they named it twice.” Arýza sighs. She’d wanted to visit before but never quite made it. The Statue of Liberty… “New York.” Its where she had planned on going to school, once, a long time ago when she had been just a regular girl… But Castiel already knows that. He grabs her bag and keeping a light hold on her takes them out of the train yard. They appear a mile away, close to the road.

“You are not safe.” Then Castiel places his hand on her chest and pushes lightly. Arýza has no time to think and only slightly protests the touch, mouth dropping open on a pained gasp when her chest suddenly flares up like a million hot coals have been shoved into her body.

“That hurts!” she clutches at her ribs and chest, slightly hunched over and directing a silvery-green glare at the angel. “Fuck, Cas…ow.”

“She won't find you again.”

“Great, so huh?” Arýza's slight frown and her reaction bring to mind Sam and Dean and the vocal not so nice thank you for the enochian symbols that now hide the brothers from demons and angels alike. He studies Arýza, the steady breaths she takes and the hesitant press of her small hands to her ribs…

“I've burned enochian sigils into your bones. No angel or demon can track you now. Myself included.”

Arýza takes a moment, she gets he's done it to protect her and being annoyed with Cas for looking out for her seems childish.

“Uh, thank you.”

Castiel’s head tilts just slightly.

“Dean was not as sincere.”

She smiles, a soft laugh and shakes her head then frowns.

“What happened? Is he safe? They're ok?” she's got more questions, too many and time is running out. Castiel answers them with the same brash honesty that seems to annoy Dean, Bobby and sometimes Sam. He doesn’t give Arýza time to scold him because her expression certainly means he's upset her. Instead, Castiel places his hand on her shoulder and a moment later they appear in a lush green hillside with the sun just starting to set.

“Will you stop just-.” Arýza huffs a breath, eyes narrowed on her angel. “Now where are we?”

“England.”

Her eyes widen and she turns in a quick little half circle only to stop when she spots the huge house in the distance.

“That is the Liddel family estate.”

She can feel him move, his shoes barely squeaking as they squash more blades of overgrown grass and then he's standing beside her.

“You are home.”

For just a second Arýza feels as though her lungs have stopped working, no air is getting to them and the house looms larger than life, as though it were reaching for her and that’s just crazy. Castiel’s hand is warm on her shoulder, a steady strength and the vice keeping her frozen falls away. She draws in a breath, full of wet earth and grass and heather… her eyes search the sky, the fading sunlight casting the gray-blue ocean above them in darkening purples and scarlets.

“Home.” Her echo is softer than Castiel’s followed by a flutter of wings and Arýza is alone.

**Ω**

 


End file.
